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YES!!! I am an Addicts Mom.

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Yes!!! I am an addict’s mom.

Yes! I am an Addict's Mom.
~written by one of the Moms online who has such wisdom to share with us all. If you are that woman and would like to “make yourself known” please contact us at ChangingLivesFoundation@gmail.com. Thank you and God Bless!

I am an addict’s mom
I stand before you able to state without hesitation that Yes, I am an addicts mom. I have learned to look past those judgmental stares, sensing what you are thinking, that I must be “one of those Moms.” That somewhere, somehow, I made some horrific choices that sent my child into the depths of hell. I am here to tell you that the choices my child made are his own and his alone. This nightmare is far from what I wanted for my child. Just like everyone with children, there were big dreams and hopes for my child.

Yes, I am an addict’s mom,
I have held it in for too long, hiding my pain, hiding the truths, trying to hide the the hell that is addiction from a society that is very quick to judge before they understand the disease. Hiding from a Society that will, look past that dirty strung-out child sitting out in the cold, shaking their heads, mumbling words of disgust under their breath. A society that would sooner sweep them “under the rug” and pretend that it’s not an epidemic, that can and will eventually affect every family in one way or another.

YES!!! I am an addict’s mom
Do not pass judgement on me and do not label me a “bad mom.” Before you pass judgement on me Know the hell I am living, know the pain I endure. Nothing you say, or the beliefs you may feel about my addict or of the mom that raised him, can hurt me more then the pain I have already put myself through. I have spent many sleepless nights
wondering where I went wrong, what could I have done differently. I am here to say, I did nothing wrong and I
couldn’t have done anything better. I gave as much as I could. This war we fight reaches out to every depth of society, It can be felt among the poor and the rich, the nameless and the famous, this country and that country. Addiction pays no mind to color, race, creed or financial status. Rich or poor, it holds no prejudice toward who it affects.

Society needs to open its eyes. Know that every day, OUR children are dying. Every day more and more children are being lost.

Yes I am an addict’s mom,
I have come to terms with the choices my child has made, can you?

I cry, I grieve, I yell, I hate, I love, I care, but most of all I HOPE.

AND I WILL FOREVER LOVE

Some of us already walk the line.
_________________________________

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The Addict's Mom
Changing Lives is proud to partner with The Addict’s Mom
to bring our readers even more support, hope and friendship.

MORE from The Addict’s Mom:
-The Addict’s Mom. She just couldn’t do it anymore.
-Overcoming difficulties living with an addict
-Expectations for our loved one’s recovery vs. reality
-Visit The Addict’s Mom Website

RELATED ARTICLES:
> Read about Al-Anon: The Critical Role of Al-Anon in Family Addiction Recovery
> Addiction: “I had NO idea what was happening to my daughter in-law”

RESOURCES:
>
Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts
> Low cost, No cost Alcohol and Drug Treatment Directory

> Drug Addiction and Alcoholism Recovery Resources for Friends, Families and Employers

Why Don't They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery." by Joe Herzanek
Get the help you need today.
Why Don’t They Just Quit?
What families and friends need to know
about addiction and recovery

> Paperback
>
Kindle
> Audio Book CD (6 hrs. 54 min.) (LISTEN TO SAMPLE)
> Audible Audio (6 hrs. 54 min.) Download


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Daily drug use in the USA and first-time illicit drug users.

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I was amazed by the info on first-time drug use.
Every day in the USA millions of young adults (18-25 years old) use illicit substances, ranging from marijuana, heroin, and cocaine, to hallucinogens and inhalants. Out of the 35.6 million young adult population (from 2012) in the USA, one fifth used an illicit drug in the past month, and the percentage of those users has increased from 2008. Even though cannabis is generally perceived as the least harmful illicit drug, a steady increase in users seeking treatment for use disorders has become clear over the past decade. Heroin and cocaine follow similar increases in the Americas, Oceania, and Europe; most interestingly are the 2013 reports of synthetic opioids being replaced by heroin as access increases in parts of the USA. Along the vein of this emergence, seizures of heroin have increased as well as seizures of cocaine doubling over the past decade.

The infographic below shows how often drugs are used daily in the USA and the number of first-time illicit drug users on an average day:

A Day of Drugs in the United States [Infographic]Infographic by 12 Keys Rehab

On the global stage, the total number of drug users (both illicit and problem drug users) has steadily risen from 208 million in 2006, to 324 million in 2012, with opiates, opioids, and cannabis seeing the most prevalence since 2009. With usage rates increasing, the necessity and access to proper treatment could not be stressed more. Only one in six problem drug users access treatment each year; however, this data is regionally dependent. For example, only one in eighteen problem drug users receive treatment in Africa, while the rate is one in three in North America.

Sources:
SAMHSA 2014 REPORT
UN 2014 WORLD DRUG REPORT

 

RELATED:
Relapse. It Happens.
~by Joe Herzanek


RESOURCES:
Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts
Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

 

Get the help you need today.

Why Don't They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery." by Joe Herzanek
Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery

> Paperback

> Audio Book CD (6 hrs. 54 min.) (LISTEN TO SAMPLE)

> Kindle

> Audible Audio (6 hrs. 54 min.) Download


RETURN:
From “Daily drug use in the USA and first-time illicit drug users.” to Changing Lives Foundation Blog Home


__________________________________________________________________
drug use, USA, drug use in USA, drug use, USA, drug use in USA

 

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Monthly Review: Addicts Don’t Want to Die, Grandparents as Parents & more

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Monthly Review: May – June 2014
Addicts Don’t Want to Die, Grandparents as Parents, Drug Abuse in Older People, Set free from Addiction? and more.

Addicts don't want to die
 

We’ve gathered some recent posts for you to enjoy (Addicts Don’t Want to Die, Grandparents as Parents, Drug Abuse in Older People and a popular “Ask Joe: Can someone be totally set free from alcohol or drug addiction?). Thanks for being part of our Changing Lives Foundation Community.

Addicts Don’t Want to Die

~ Written by an “anonymous addict’s mom,” posted to the “I Hate Heroin” Facebook Community Page the day following the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman (reprinted with permission). This post was extremely popular—with one reader commenting that it was the best post she had ever read! In case you missed it, here is the link below.

It’s easier to think that drug addiction happens to other people, to them, over there. Reality tells us that it happens far more often than we want to believe. It’s a false sense of security.  READ MORE
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Grandparents as Parents,
Fifth Child:
The Turbulent Path That Led to Parenting Our Child’s Child

Fifth Child: grandparents as parents

~By Lynne R. Gassel

Parents don’t plan on their children becoming meth addicts. They don’t plan on burying their children and parents don’t plan on raising their children’s children. Lynne and her husband Stu have experienced the intense heartache and ultimately, the satisfaction of such life experiences.  READ MORE
~Reviewed by Judy Herzanek, Changing Lives Foundation

Lynne Gassel

“God made a good decision.” The true story of a mother’s love for her family,
her sacrifice and selfless journey into parenting—again.


____________________________________________________________________________

Drug Abuse in Older People

Drug Abuse in Older People

Drug Abuse in Older People


Recognizing the signs of alcoholism or other addictions in ourselves, or others, is always difficult, but there is one segment of the population in which the signs may be particularly easy to overlook.
Older people are increasingly likely to be affected by addiction, but their needs are often missed because of the assumption that addiction is something that only affects younger people. READ MORE



_________________________________________________________________________________

Can someone be totally set free from alcohol
or drug addiction?

Can Someone Be Totally Set Free From Addiction?

First let’s define the problem. Alcohol or drug dependency shows up as a loss of control over the ability to use socially. It’s been called a chronic relapsing disease that gets progressively worse over time if not arrested. It is fatal.  READ MORE

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Our latest addiction resource:

Help for Families Battling ANY ADDICTION.

Why Don't They Just Quit METH? 2 DVD Set

Why Don’t They Just Quit METH? Families need help too.
(Roundtable Discussion 2-Disc Set includes bonus feature)

Answers for families facing addiction for the first time!
Yes, meth addicts DO recover and families can and do get better.

This DVD is for families dealing with ANY drug or alcohol addiction (not just meth).
TO PURCHASE OR LEARN MORE

ALSO AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

With appreciation to our Changing Lives Supporters who made this filming possible,
and to the following for your excellent contribution:
> Tonya Wheeler (Executive Dir: Advocates for Recovery)
> Trish Frye (Program Dir: Rise Recovery)
> Michael Connely: (Dir: Odyssey Training Center)
> Dr. Nicolas Taylor: (Taylor Behavioral Health)
> Warren and Colleen
> Brandon Stiller, Ann Theis, Josh Stanton: (Open Media Foundation)
> Karen Steenekamp: (Open Design, LLC)
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From “Monthly Review: Addicts Don’t Want to Die, Grandparents as Parents, Drug Abuse in Older People”
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Addicts Don’t Want to Die, Grandparents as Parents, Drug Abuse in Older People

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Addicts Don’t Want to Die

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Addicts don't want to die

 

I don’t know about you, but lately I feel simply overwhelmed with information—specifically information and misinformation, opinions and conflicting opinions with regard to  drug addiction.

Everyone seems to have their personal  judgements and answers to the problem.

Following a number of recent deaths of high-profile celebrities due to overdose, there has been a deluge of blog posts, newscasts and articles. Many of these have been judgmental, hurtful and hateful. They have also generated some very well-written, passionate comments from family members who have “been there” and speak from the heart. We reprint one of our favorites (with permission), so eloquently written by an anonymous addict’s mom on the “I Hate Heroin” Facebook Community page.

This post reinforces the universal truth that we strongly support in our book “Why Don’t They Just Quit?” —that addiction is a disease which affects the mind, body and soul. Successful recovery needs to address all three. There is no quick or easy solution. But recovery IS possible and families DO get better. Never give up hope!
~Judy Herzanek/Changing Lives Foundation
__________________________________________________

Addicts Don’t Want To Die

~ Written by an “anonymous addict’s mom,” posted to the “I Hate Heroin” Facebook Community Page the day following the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman (reprinted with permission).

It’s easier to think that drug addiction happens to other people, to them, over there. Reality tells us that it happens far more often than we want to believe. It’s a false sense of security.

Chances are that someone you know is addicted to drugs right now, you just may not realize it.

Or you do know, but you hide their addiction because of the social stigma.

Or you don’t hide it, but you shame them instead.

Or you don’t shame them, but you slowly phase them out of your life because you don’t want to be around them anymore or because you just can’t do it anymore.

Or you keep them around, but talk about them behind their backs, discuss how sad it is that they refuse to get help, vow to be better than they are.

Or they do try to get help and sometimes they get better for a while.

Or they relapse and die just like he did yesterday.

The trouble with drug addiction is that it really isn’t about the drugs, no matter how much most people seem to believe that. Drug addiction is a means to an end. It begins usually as a way to try something new, to try to get high, to try and transport yourself somewhere else, to try and just feel better for a minute.

Most drug use is self medication for the things that people either can’t or won’t cope with in real life. The root of most of all that? Mental health conditions, the huge piece of this issue that we find ourselves ignoring all too often every time drugs are involved.

Nancy Reagan taught us all that drugs are bad. D.A.R.E. programs taught us that users are criminals, they are bad people. No one ever bothered to tell us that the vast majority of them were in need of help from a mental health system that largely doesn’t exist.

And you know what happened?

People believed them. I can’t even begin to tell you all the things I saw flying through my newsfeed yesterday in the wake of his death. Proclamations that he was selfish, that he was a waste, that he should have been happy because he was rich and famous. People who decreed from the mountaintops that if he would have just tried harder, he would have been better. That it’s his fault that he died.

In reality, he struggled with depression most of his life. He got clean. He was recently in rehab.

Addicts don’t want to be addicts.

Addicts don’t want to die.

Addicts don’t want to throw their lives away.

Addicts don’t want their children to grow up without parents.

They just want to feel better. They just want to feel normal. They just want to stop feeling everything else for a little while.

Addicts are people, just like you and me.

Addicts come in all forms, dependent on many different things, drugs just being one version of dependence.

The problem is that our system is limited, laboring under the illusion that drug addiction is a criminal issue, a medical issue on the fringes that can be fixed with proper rehab. That all ignores the fact that drugs aren’t the problem…what led that person to drugs in the first place is the problem. The drugs are just a means to an end.

Rehab doesn’t fix addicts. It treats the physical symptoms of withdrawal.

Prison doesn’t fix addicts. It just puts them in a cage for a while.

Even death doesn’t fix addicts. It just leaves the people who love them here, forever wondering how different things might have been.

“Addicts don’t want their children
to grow up without parents.”

The only way to really deal with addiction is one that is multi-faceted, one that makes us uncomfortable. It is messy and complicated and takes a lifetime of effort. It involves relapses and second chances and third chances. It involves support, sometimes sponsors. It involves therapy and counseling until whatever the root cause is has been revealed and addressed. It involves consideration of not just the physical withdrawal, but the emotional withdrawal, the social withdrawal, the psychological withdrawal. It involves a mental health system with adequate resources. It requires support instead of judgement.

And sometimes, even when all those things exist, it fails. It fails because addiction can take people and swallow them whole. It can rob them of everything they value, everyone they love. It can strip them of everything they care about, rob them of reason and logic. It can convince them that they aren’t worthy, that they have failed not just themselves, but everyone else. It tells them that they are broken and irreparable. Then it shoves them back down and does it again.

Our society says it failed because they didn’t try hard enough, because they were selfish, because they were stupid.

How exactly is saying things like this going to help anyone?

The short answer—it isn’t. It just allows us to believe that if we try hard enough, if we care about other people enough, if we are smart enough, we can avoid addiction. Our false sense of security hurts those who need help the most.

Never mind the damage done to the people they leave behind.

To those who claim Philip’s death isn’t tragic, I ask you to think about his children. I’m sure they would disagree with you.

Until you’ve been there, you can’t know what it is like.

Until you’ve watched someone you love try and claw their way out only to be dragged back in again, you can’t know what it is like.

Until you’ve seen someone throw everything away just to feel better for a moment, you can’t know what it is like.

Until you’ve dealt with someone desperately in need of help who turned to self medication, you can’t know what it is like.

Until you’ve had to tease out where the line between believing in someone and enabling them is, you can’t know what it is like.

Until you’ve had to make choices no one should ever have to make, you can’t know what it is like.

“Until you’ve been there, you can’t know what it is like.”

Until you’ve done all you can to help someone who doesn’t want it, you can’t know what it is like.

We all have our demons. We all have our issues.

Many of us are closer to being addicts than we would ever admit out loud.

Some of us know how easy it would be to turn.

Some of us are addicts already.

Some of us already walk the line.
_________________________________

RELATED ARTICLES:
>
Read about Al-Anon: The Critical Role of Al-Anon in Family Addiction Recovery
> Addiction: “I had NO idea what was happening to my daughter in-law”

RESOURCES:
>
Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts
>
Low cost, No cost Alcohol and Drug Treatment Directory
> Drug Addiction and Alcoholism Recovery Resources for Friends, Families and Employers

Why Don't They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery." by Joe Herzanek
Get the help you need today.
Why Don’t They Just Quit?
What families and friends need to know
about addiction and recovery

> Paperback
> Kindle
> Audio Book CD (6 hrs. 54 min.) (LISTEN TO SAMPLE)
> Audible Audio (6 hrs. 54 min.) Download


FREE NEWSLETTER:
RETURN:
___________________________________________don’t want to die, want to die, addicts die
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Set free from alcohol or drug addiction?

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Ask Joe:

Can Someone Be Totally Set Free From Addiction?

Can Someone Be Totally Set Free From Addiction?

 

Can someone be totally set free from alcohol
or drug addiction?

First let’s get a definition of the problem. Alcohol or drug dependency shows up as a loss of control over the ability to use socially. It’s been called a chronic relapsing disease that gets progressively worse over time if not arrested. It is fatal.

So if you’re asking, “Is there a cure?” the answer is no. No one has ever been able to return to social use, regain control–who was truly an alcoholic or an addict. That does not mean there is no solution.

Anyone who wants to badly enough–can completely stop their use and begin the journey of recovery. It is not easy in the beginning–but it does get easier over time. If the “want to” is there, people can quit and enjoy a life without alcohol or other drugs. Most will need some support group to get the ball rolling.

They will always be an alcoholic or addict BUT their disease can be–and can stay in remission if they choose to keep I there.

 

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NEED HELP NOW?
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

Don’t bail them out. A few nights in jail
could be the best thing that ever happens to them.
~ Jail Chaplain Joe Herzanek

Joe Herzanek, Author, Addiction Counselor and Interventionist
If you found this article “Set free from alcohol or drug addiction?” helpful please see our “Ask Joe” posts listed at the bottom and consider reading “Why Don’t they Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”
Available at:
> Our website, “Why Don’t They Just Quit?”
> Amazon.com
> Changing Lives Amazon Storefront (buy new for much less)

 

Why Don't They Just Quit? by Joe HerzanekOur most recent Amazon.com reviews:
Best book ever about addiction. Written by one whose done it and is recovering. Easy to read, not preachy, just honest. I recommend this book to anyone with an addict in their life! ~LyndaA

Got an addiction problem in your family? Read this book. Joe knows his stuff. This book helps you to better understand those who are dealing with friends and family that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I have read several of these books but this one is the best. ~RJ

I, like many people, have some knowledge of what drugs and addiction are, but are clueless on what the process of recovery entails. This book does a great job in what it would take to help a loved one, who is an addict and is willing to get clean and stay clean. It also gives one hope that your loved one will survive the nightmare they are living through with their family. ~CG

> Kindle
> Paperback
> Audio Book CD (Listen in your car)
> Audible Audio Download (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE)

RESOURCES:
Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

MORE ASK JOE:
> Son needs $75 for drug dealer of he’ll be “killed for sure.”
> “I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”
> Should my husband “back off?”

RETURN:
From “Set free from alcohol or drug addiction?” to Changing Lives Foundation Blog Home

Joe Herzanek
Changing Lives Foundation/President
Author: Why Don’t They JUST QUIT?
www.changinglivesfoundation.org
www.whydonttheyjustquit.com

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________
free from alcohol  free from drug addiction  free from alcohol,  free from drug addiction

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Addiction Denial – The Elephant in the Room

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By Ned Wicker

Elephant in the Room

~Painting by Jess Herzanek

During one of his recent sermons, my pastor Mike Frans put up a slide for the congregation to examine. It was a photo of a corporate conference room, with a dozen people seated around a large table. In the room was an elephant. Nobody was paying any attention to it. Whether intentionally, or unintentionally, no person in the conference room wanted to deal with the fact of the elephant.

For me, the elephant in the room was a good visual for recognizing “denial.” Maybe if I ignore it, the elephant will go away. Perhaps if I appease it by offering a few peanuts it will have the good sense to understand my needs and allow me to continue my work. Nobody else is saying anything about the elephant. Maybe they don’t see it. In that case, I’ll say nothing. Then again, it may not be there at all if I close my eyes. It could be a baby elephant. That wouldn’t be so bad.

Denial is a brutal enemy, because it doesn’t allow us to confront the problem, find a solution, or give us any hope of recovery. A while back a woman was trying to convince me that denial was relative. She insisted that a person who doesn’t see a problem isn’t in denial because they don’t believe there is a problem. No amount of evidence makes any difference. If my life is out of control, my relationships are broken or damaged, my job is gone and I am having health problems as a result of my drug use, and if I am the only person that doesn’t see it, that’s denial. Addiction Denial isn’t subjective, it’s objective.

People always think they can handle it. They can quit any time. They will not become addicted. They deny the problem. That’s why the first of the 12 Steps starts out by stating, “We admitted…” Step 1 is about getting over denial. I see the elephant in the room, I acknowledge it and I realize that if I don’t remove the elephant in the room, cleaning up the mess will be a major task. After all, you have to feed the elephant and its droppings are not pleasant. Still, denial is powerful and people will actually choose to live with the elephant rather than admitting its existence.

Denial robs us of opportunity. Let’s say your “elephant” is tiny, a new born. By not admitting that the problem is there, that your control is slipping, that the potential for disaster is looming around the corner, there is not way you’re going to address the issue and find a strategy to deal with it. Addictions, like elephants, can grow in to very large problems. Denial is also myopic and arrogant. I don’t see it, so you’re wrong. You can’t possibly be right, because that would mean that I’m wrong and we can’t have that.

Denial stunts personal growth. Health issues aside, by feeding the elephant instead of our soul, we stagnate as a person. There is no room for reason, for stretching one’s understanding or reaching out to others. There is no room for development. Addiction keeps us trapped in one place, to feed the elephant and limits human potential.

Sometimes one of the people in the room exclaims, “Let’s get rid of the elephant.” Others may agree and say, “Yes, the elephant is getting in the way and we don’t want to deal with it.” However, if the elephant is yours, you say, “Oh no, you’re wrong. You’re being hateful. Stop judging me. You have no right to say there’s an elephant in the room.” If denial takes a strong foothold, they you and your elephant may be asked to leave the room.

Overcoming denial leads to restoration. It is the beginning of the process, and the beginning of a new and exciting period of self-discovery and examination. You don’t need the elephant. Nobody else wants the elephant. Get rid of your denial elephant and get back to your place at the conference table.

Ned Wicker is the Addictions Recovery Chaplain at Waukesha Memorial Hospital Lawrence Center He author’s a website for addiction support:

Drug-Addiction-Support.org or Drug Addiction Symptoms

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ned_Wicker

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RELATED:
Detachment is Hard-–Radio interview with Joe Herzanek
Codependent, WHY do we continue to rescue?

RESOURCES:
Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

CLF METH 3D small

>  Family help for METH addiction
Answers for families facing addiction for the first time!
Yes, meth addicts DO recover and families can and do get better.

Read more about detachment with love:

Why Don't They Just Quit? by Joe Herzanek
Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.

> Paperback
> Audio Book CD (Listen in your car)
> Kindle
> Audible Audio Download  (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE)

RETURN:
FROM : “The Elephant in the Room” TO CHANGING LIVES FOUNDATION BLOG HOME

__________________________________________________________________________________
Addiction Denial, Elephant in the Room, Addiction Denial, Elephant in the Room

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about family phone counseling with Joe Herzanek  click here.

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