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Addiction: A Brain Disease, Joe Herzanek, Author/Speaker

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Addiction: A Brain Disease,
Joe Herzanek, Author/Speaker

Click image below to watch short video sampler:

(Sampler): A former drug addict himself, Joe Herzanek speaks about, answers questions and signs his new book, “Why Don’t They Just Quit? Hope for Families Struggling with Addiction.”

Author and Boulder County Jail Chaplain Joe Herzanek with Lewis and Clark

Author and Boulder County Jail Chaplain Joe Herzanek with Lewis and Clark

Joe Herzanek is a man who battled his own demons of addiction over thirty years ago. He often tells others, “I know people can change. If I can do it, anyone can!”

Herzanek is the president and founder of the Colorado Nonprofit Organization, Changing Lives Foundation. As a State Certified Addiction Counselor in Colorado he’s spent over twenty-three years working in the criminal justice system as a Chaplain and Addiction Counselor at both the Boulder and Weld County Jails.

Joe is the former host of Recovery Television, Eye On Addiction Radio, speaker, producer of several DVDs and author of the multi-award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction” written for families and friends searching to help a loved one recover from alcohol or drug addiction. His book along with the companion DVD “The 10 Toughest Questions” offer rare insights into the mind of the addict and how addiction impacts the family.

To arrange a presentation with Joe Herzanek

“People don’t learn from their mistakes,
they learn from the consequences of their mistakes.
Remove the consequences and you will have robbed them
of a potentially valuable life lesson.”

– Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Why Don’t They Just Quit?

____________________

Please visit our website for family resources,
testimonials and information about speaking
or workshops at your church, group, or community organization.

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Chaplain Joe Herzanek and Judy met in 1984 at an AA meeting in Kansas City and have been married and in long-term recovery for over 30 years. Together they manage the Colorado Nonprofit Organization, Changing Lives Foundation, providing hope and help for families struggling with addiction, alcoholism or substance abuse.
About Us
Speaking
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RESOURCES:
> Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts.

> Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

Why Don't They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.



Why Don’t They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.
~By Joe Herzanek

New! 2016 Multi-Award-Winning Updated Edition!
Contains 7 new chapters and info on: Heroin, Shame & Stigma, Harm Reduction, Marijuana, Synthetic Drugs, 12-Step Groups & The Church, and much more!

Amazon.com reviews:
As the mom of a child struggling with addiction,
and the author of ‘The Joey Song: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction,’ my ‘go to’ book is still “Why Don’t They Just Quit? ~Sandy Swenson

Best book ever about addiction. Written by one whose done it and is recovering. Easy to read, not preachy, just honest. I recommend this book to anyone with an addict in their life! ~Lynda A

Got an addiction problem in your family? Read this book. Joe knows his stuff. This book helps you to better understand those who are dealing with friends and family that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I have read several of these books but this one is the best. ~RJ

> Paperback
> Audio Book CD (Listen to the book)
> Kindle
> Audible Audio Download (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE NOW)

Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Author ASK JOE:
> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?

> Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>Should my husband “back off?”

>Gambling vs. Drug Addiction? What is your opinion?

>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?




RETURN:
from “Addiction: A Brain Disease” to Blog Home
________________________________________________________
Addiction: A Brain Disease, Joe Herzanek, Author/Speaker

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Joe Herzanek at Boulder Bookstore!

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Free Event: Author Joe Herzanek at Boulder Bookstore!
“The Addicted Brain”

Author and Boulder County Jail Chaplain Joe Herzanek with Lewis and Clark

Author and Boulder County Jail Chaplain Joe Herzanek with Lewis and Clark

Boulder Bookstore Free Event: Author and Boulder County Jail Chaplain Joe Herzanek will speak about and sign his new, multiple award-winning 2016 edition of “Why Don’t They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.”

When: Wednesday, October 5 at 7:30pm.
Where: Boulder Bookstore, Boulder, Colorado
No Tickets Required
Boulder Bookstore Event Info for Joe Herzanek

Facebook Event Invitation

 See you there!


“People don’t learn from their mistakes,
they learn from the consequences of their mistakes.
Remove the consequences and you will have robbed them
of a potentially valuable life lesson.”

– Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Why Don’t They Just Quit?

____________________

Judy Herzanek TelluridePosted by:
Judy Herzanek is the Director of Creative Development and Marketing for Changing Lives Foundation. She graduated from Columbus College of Art & Design in 1976 and worked as Graphic Designer and Art Director for Hallmark Cards, Kansas City, MO (12 years), Celestial Seasonings, Boulder, CO (16 years) and owned and managed her own design business.

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Chaplain Joe Herzanek and Judy met in 1984 at an AA meeting in Kansas City and have been married and in long-term recovery for over 30 years. She loves working from her home office in Berthoud, Colorado and the opportunity to combine her design, marketing and online skills with her 30+ years of sobriety to bring the message of hope to families struggling with addiction.
Please visit Changing Lives Foundation website





RESOURCES:
> Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts.

> Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

Why Don't They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.



Why Don’t They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.
~By Joe Herzanek

New! 2016 Multi-Award-Winning Updated Edition!
Contains 7 new chapters and info on: Heroin, Shame & Stigma, Harm Reduction, Marijuana, Synthetic Drugs, 12-Step Groups & The Church, and much more!

Amazon.com reviews:
As the mom of a child struggling with addiction,
and the author of ‘The Joey Song: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction,’ my ‘go to’ book is still “Why Don’t They Just Quit? ~Sandy Swenson

Best book ever about addiction. Written by one whose done it and is recovering. Easy to read, not preachy, just honest. I recommend this book to anyone with an addict in their life! ~Lynda A

Got an addiction problem in your family? Read this book. Joe knows his stuff. This book helps you to better understand those who are dealing with friends and family that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I have read several of these books but this one is the best. ~RJ

> Paperback
> Audio Book CD (Listen to the book)
> Kindle
> Audible Audio Download (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE NOW)

Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Author ASK JOE:
> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?

> Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>Should my husband “back off?”

>Gambling vs. Drug Addiction? What is your opinion?

>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?




RETURN:
from “Free Event: Joe Herzanek at Boulder Bookstore!.” to Blog Home
_________________________________________________
Free Event: Joe Herzanek at Boulder Bookstore!

 

 

 

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Addiction: Disease or Moral Failing?

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Addiction: Disease or Moral Failing?
– by Chaplain Joe Herzanek

Addiction: Disease or Moral Failing?

“There is a battle going on for the mind—a tug-of-war, you might say.”
– Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Why Don’t They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.

Is addiction a disease? Webster’s Dictionary defines disease as: 1) a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms; or 2) a harmful development.

Alcohol or drug addiction satisfies both definitions. It is, in fact, a brain disease. This disease has its own set of diagnosable symptoms that can be measured and treated. At the same time, it is also a spiritual disease. So how does knowing this help you? To the person with the addiction, it helps them to understand what is happening to their body, both mentally and physically. There is a battle going on for the mind—a tug-of-war, you might say. To family members and friends, there is some relief in knowing that their loved one is ill (both physically and spiritually) and not necessarily insane. To hospitals and treatment centers, it means that they can treat the disease and that insurance companies can help cover the cost of treatment.

“I do not understand what I do.
For what I want to do I do not do,
but what I hate I do.”
~The Apostle Paul speaking to the church in Rome
Romans 7:15

Perhaps, though, the bigger question is, How does someone become addicted? If we can find the cause, maybe we can find a solution. This is a logical question with a not-so-easy answer. First, we must understand the background and history of the addict.

Nature vs. Nurture
Nature looks at things such as genetic makeup; so, is addiction passed down through the family like many other diseases? An overwhelming body of evidence says yes—there definitely is a genetic component or link. However, scientists and researchers can’t put a sample of the disease under a microscope and analyze it to prove that a link exists. There is also a problem when trying to predict which offspring or family member will develop the disease. This is kind of like a lawyer who builds a large case solely on mountains of circumstantial evidence. And there are many exceptions, too: some people who seem to have no genetic link at all develop the disease, and vice versa.



When we speak of nurture, we are referring to environment—where, why, when, and how a person begins and lives out their life. The focus is on factors such as neighborhood, social status, parenting skills, peer group, education, and role models—all of which can play a powerful role in a young person’s life. Then again, often children who have grown up in the same home and in the same environment later take drastically different directions in life. This nurture issue can work both ways. The honest truth is that kids from very bad environments and kids from the best homes may both find themselves with addictions. Are the odds stacked against those from less than desirable family backgrounds? I’m sure that they are.

Tragically, some children are raised in abusive homes. I have seen a disproportionate number of addiction cases that involve abuse. Many alcohol- or drug-dependent men and women are carrying a lot of baggage around and are looking for ways to cope with their profound pain.

But not everyone dealing with drug and alcohol abuse has experienced a severe tragedy or can claim a genetic predisposition. There are also those who simply like to drink, drug, and party. No baggage, no broken homes, no abuse. They just like the way they feel when they get high.

“There are also those who simply like to drink, drug, and party.
No baggage, no broken homes, no abuse.”

~Joe Herzanek

This was true in my case. I enjoyed the way I felt when I used drugs. I used for the simple reason that it was fun. Sure, I didn’t have a perfect childhood, and my parents could have done a few things differently. But if I’m really honest, I think that I just wanted to be one of the “cool kids,” which in my mind meant drinking and getting high. My former wife will attest to the fact that I wanted to portray a certain image. My adolescent years lasted a long time.

My nature and nurture were not all that bad. I don’t recall any relatives with substance-abuse problems. Neither of my parents ever had more than an occasional drink. In fact, I don’t recall ever seeing either one of them drunk. I’m sure if you look long and hard enough, you can find someone in every family who drinks too much. But in my case, if there was a genetic link, it wasn’t obvious. No one in my family—mother, father, brother, sisters, aunts, uncles or grandparents—had this disease.

Can addiction be considered a moral failing? Talk about a hot potato. In our postmodern and enlightened society, morality is often viewed as closed-mindedness. We speak in terms of tolerance—what is right for you may not be right for me. Whose morals are we to use as the standard? Let’s look at the word morals for a moment. The dictionary defines it as “principles of right and wrong.” It mentions character and virtue. Regarding what is right and wrong, whose definition do we accept?



Most everyone would acknowledge that there are some universal absolutes that are generally accepted by a civilized society. For example, it is morally wrong to harm others without cause or for selfish reasons. Are addicts and alcoholics able to distinguish right from wrong? Have they lost touch with reality? Often it takes someone sober to point out the moral dilemmas that this person has caused for the family. For abusers, the drug has controlled them for so long that they often feel there is no other choice than to keep using. The craving has overtaken their ability to fully reason or think rationally.

“A man has free choice
to the extent that he is rational.”
~Saint Thomas Aquinas

My good friend Michael Connelly, from the Odyssey Training Center in Denver, Colorado, talks about how addiction creates limited choice. By limited Michael is referring to the ability to resist just so much craving or pressure. At some point, the dependent person caves in to the stress. His emotions and cravings overwhelm his decision-making process. There is a limited amount of control exercised. I like this way of explaining it. Looking back again at my own active addiction, I see some parallels. Part of me knew that my heavy substance use was wrong. At times, I felt bad or guilty about the way I was living. But as my addiction progressed and my condition worsened, it became more and more difficult to think clearly, and I didn’t experience those guilty feelings as often.

Even from a Christian or biblical perspective some of these topics do not have clear-cut answers. The Bible does not condemn drinking alcohol. It does condemn getting drunk and it warns of the potential for abuse.

Recently I watched a news story about a local man who robbed a hospital pharmacy. He came in with a gun, but did not demand money. He knew exactly what he wanted—a very potent painkiller. The pharmacist said that addicts reach a point where they are willing to do anything, even risk their lives for the drug. Did this guy know it was morally wrong to rob someone at gunpoint, to risk killing another person to get his drugs? What was he thinking? For the addict—the person with the malfunctioning brain—his craving of the drug had overwhelmed his thoughts. His addiction was telling him that his own life was at stake—that if he didn’t get the drugs he needed, he was going to die. To him it was a matter of life or death.

To someone watching the news report, his actions were obviously wrong. This was a moral failing, visible to everyone except the addict committing the crime. Once addiction has complete control of the person, the craving can far outweigh the decision-making process and the most unthinkable act becomes rationalized.

In the beginning stages of addiction, some feelings of guilt or shame just might be a good thing. Once someone moves into full-blown dependency, their choices become more and more limited as they try to satisfy their need for drugs. If not for the intervention of my family, I could have eventually become this drug thief myself.

Disease or Moral Failing?
So back to our original question: Is addiction a disease or a moral failing? I would have to say that it is both. For me, in the beginning stages, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but the pleasure that the drugs and alcohol produced won over my moral beliefs. After several years of living like this, my addiction brought me to the limited choice, or disease level. You could say that a person starts out flirting with danger (a moral failing), and ends up totally consumed by the disease of addiction.

“Drugs are a bet with your mind.”
~Jim Morrison

This post, “Addiction: Disease or Moral Failing?” excerpted from Chapter 14 (Is addiction a disease or moral failing?) in the 2016 updated edition Why Don’t They JUST QUIT? Hope for families struggling with addiction.

Read More Related Posts:

Raising The Bottom

Help an Addict by “Raising The Bottom”

Help an Addict by Raising Their Bottom:
Addicts like me, and potentially my son, often need to learn things the hard way. Judy vividly recalls a time when our son was about three years old. She was ironing and told him not to touch the iron—that it was hot. He looked directly into her eyes, stuck out his finger and touched it. At that moment she knew this was not going to be an easy road. He was going to have to learn things the hard way. READ MORE

“Raising The Bottom” is excerpted from Chapter 23 (Pivotal Teaching Moments: The “rock bottom” myth) of the 2016 updated edition of Why Don’t They JUST QUIT? Hope for families struggling with addiction.

Addiction A Family Disease
A Family Disease:

“Once we recognize our futile attempts to stop a disease for which there has yet to be found a cure, we can begin to utilize different strategies in dealing with our addicted children.

We can allow our children to feel the consequences and results of their behavior. In essence, we can “raise their bottom.” We can begin to take care of ourselves by reaching out to mothers who have had similar experiences. We learn new ways to cope with the reality of addiction.“ READ MORE

 

Excerpted from: Why is Addiction Called “A Family Disease?”
~By Kathy Brock Frasier, Regional Director, The Addict’s Mom

 

Detachment-How-Can-I


Detachment. How Can I?:

When life becomes one crisis after another, when emotional pain and endless drama become “the norm” what am I supposed to do? Over the past few decades I’ve received this question a lot. Recently it has become the #1 question. Why is that? What do I suggest to families who have arrived at this place? How about this: My suggestion is to do NOTHING! Stop “doing.” READ MORE

Detachment. How Can I?” is excerpted from the 2016 updated edition of Why Don’t They JUST QUIT? Hope for families struggling with addiction.

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Chaplain Joe Herzanek and Judy met in 1984 at an AA meeting in Kansas City and have been married and in long-term recovery for over 30 years. She loves working from her home office in Berthoud, Colorado and the opportunity to combine her design, marketing and online skills with her 30+ years of sobriety to bring the message of hope to families struggling with addiction.
Please visit Changing Lives Foundation website

 

 

RESOURCES:
> Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts.

> Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

Why Don't They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.



Why Don’t They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.
~By Joe Herzanek

New! 2016 Multi-Award-Winning Updated Edition!
Contains 7 new chapters and info on: Heroin, Shame & Stigma, Harm Reduction, Marijuana, Synthetic Drugs, 12-Step Groups & The Church, and much more!

Amazon.com reviews:
As the mom of a child struggling with addiction,
and the author of ‘The Joey Song: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction,’ my ‘go to’ book is still “Why Don’t They Just Quit? ~Sandy Swenson

Best book ever about addiction. Written by one whose done it and is recovering. Easy to read, not preachy, just honest. I recommend this book to anyone with an addict in their life! ~Lynda A

Got an addiction problem in your family? Read this book. Joe knows his stuff. This book helps you to better understand those who are dealing with friends and family that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I have read several of these books but this one is the best. ~RJ

> Paperback
> Audio Book CD (Listen to the book)
> Kindle
> Audible Audio Download (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE NOW)

Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Author MORE ASK JOE:
> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?

> Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>Should my husband “back off?”

>Gambling vs. Drug Addiction? What is your opinion?

>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?

RETURN:
from “Addiction: Disease or Moral Failing?.” to Blog Home

 

 

_____________________________________
Addiction: Disease or Moral Failing?

 

 

 

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The Value of Consequences

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The Value of Consequences:

The Value of Consequences
“People don’t learn from their mistakes,
they learn from the consequences of their mistakes.
Remove the consequences and you will have robbed them
of a potentially valuable life lesson.”

– Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Why Don’t They Just Quit?

The Value of Consequences. It seems that out of our hundreds of blog posts, the most universal truths lie in those that speak about consequences—and the important role they play in every person’s life. These concepts apply to all, from toddlers and teens to the middle-aged and elderly.  We decided to gather some of our most popular segments and combine them into one post—to be read quickly, or if you have time, with links to more info/the expanded text. We hope this will be helpful to you and/or to share with a friend.

Raising The Bottom

Help an Addict by “Raising The Bottom”

Raising the Bottom:
Addicts like me, and potentially my son, often need to learn things the hard way. Judy vividly recalls a time when Jake was about three years old. She was ironing and told him not to touch the iron—that it was hot. He looked directly into her eyes, stuck out his finger and touched it. At that moment she knew this was not going to be an easy road. Jake was going to have to learn things the hard way.

“We cannot learn without pain.”
~Aristotle

The Value of Pain
Pain can be a wonderful teacher. Pain usually means that something is wrong or perhaps broken. Without pain, most people would have even larger problems. Pain is a signal that we need to do something different if we want it to stop.

We decided to not rob Jake of these pivotal learning opportunities. We weren’t going to lie for him, put up his bail, or pay for lawyers. In one of the seminars we attended, we were advised not to argue with our son; just let the consequences be the “bad guy.”

“Don’t rob your friend or loved one of the wonderful
learning experience they are about to have.”
~Joe Herzanek

So does everyone have to hit rock bottom? I would say no. Tough love can prevent a substance abuser from prolonging their usage. There are loving ways to refuse to rescue someone who in the long run will help him or her to choose recovery. Loving means doing the right thing to help. This can take all of our strength and energy at times. “We all hate to see someone suffer even when the suffering is a consequence of their bad choices.

This approach, or some form of it, is something you might consider: Raise the bottom. Whether it is a teenage son or daughter, a spouse, boyfriend, aunt or uncle, the same principles can apply. A few nights in jail could be the best thing that ever happens to them. The next time this person you care about appeals to you to get them out of a bind (loan them money, pay their electric bill, buy them gas, pay for a lawyer), think twice. You just might be prolonging their disease and robbing them of the natural consequences they need to experience in order to seek help and begin to connect the dots.

Don’t bail them out. A few nights in jail
could be the best thing that ever happens to them.
~Chaplain Joe Herzanek

“Raising The Bottom” is excerpted from Chapter 23 (Pivotal Teaching Moments: The “rock bottom” myth) of the 2016 updated edition of Why Don’t They JUST QUIT? Hope for families struggling with addiction.




Addiction A Family DiseaseA Family Disease:
“Once we recognize our futile attempts to stop a disease for which there has yet to be found a cure, we can begin to utilize different strategies in dealing with our addicted children.

We can allow our children to feel the consequences and results of their behavior. In essence, we can “raise their bottom.” We can begin to take care of ourselves by reaching out to mothers who have had similar experiences. As we build friendships and feel supported and loved, it becomes easier to make difficult decisions and we learn new ways to cope with the reality of addiction.“

The above is excerpted from: Why is Addiction Called “A Family Disease?”
~By Kathy Brock Frasier, Regional Director, The Addict’s Mom

 

Detachment-How-Can-IDetachment. How Can I?:

When life becomes one crisis after another, when emotional pain and endless drama become “the norm” what am I supposed to do? Over the past few decades I’ve received this question a lot. Recently it has become the #1 question. Why is that? What do I suggest to families who have arrived at this place? How about this: My suggestion is to do NOTHING! Stop “doing.” Quit “doing.” No longer “DO” anything.

Let’s talk about letting go and what that looks like (sometimes referred to as “detachment”). So there—I’ve said it; The “D” word, The Ultimatum, The Nuclear Option.
READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

Detachment. How Can I?” is excerpted from the 2016 updated edition of Why Don’t They JUST QUIT? Hope for families struggling with addiction.

 

Parenting Warnings and ThreatsWarnings and Threats:

Although this story centers around a mother and her young child, we find that most of the “Love and Logic” principles apply to ANY age group (children, teens and adults). 

Parenting: Warnings and Threats

Little Cleo looked out of the corner of her eye at her Mom with one of those testing looks, then pushed her child sized grocery cart into the legs of her sister.

“Quit that,” warned Mom. “I’ve warned you about that three times already. If you do it again I’m going to take it away!”

Three minutes later Cleo was doing it again.

“Cleo, I said no,” yelled Mom. “Now you stop it! You’re going to be in big trouble! How many times do I have to tell you?”

Ten minutes later, I saw Mom still making threats. I’m not sure she was aware of Cleo’s sly little grin.



During the same trip, I watched another Mom dealing with the same problem. There were no threats.

“Willie, you know better than that. Follow me.” She calmly walked to the front of the store with her son trailing behind.

“Leave your cart with the others here. You can try it again next time we’re in the store.”

“But, Mom. I’ll be good. I promise.”

“I’m sure you will next time we shop.”

A sobbing little Willie followed his mom through the store.

Let’s all give Willie’s mother a big hand. And let’s give Cleo’s mom a moment of silence. The threats and warnings may still be going on while we read this.

Thanks for reading,
– Jim Fay

Jim Fay
As one of our favorite authors, we highly recommend Jim Fay and Foster Cline’s  book  Parenting Teens With Love And Logic

Originally published 1/06/2010 by the Love and Logic® Institute, Inc.©2010 Jim Fay, Charles Fay, PhD & Love and Logic® Institute, Inc. www.loveandlogic.com

 

Judy Herzanek TelluridePosted by:
Judy Herzanek is the Director of Creative Development and Marketing for Changing Lives Foundation. She graduated from Columbus College of Art & Design in 1976 and worked as Graphic Designer and Art Director for Hallmark Cards, Kansas City, MO (12 years), Celestial Seasonings, Boulder, CO (16 years) and owned and managed her own design business.

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Chaplain Joe Herzanek and Judy met in 1984 at an AA meeting in Kansas City and have been married and in long-term recovery for over 30 years. She loves working from her home office in Berthoud, Colorado and the opportunity to combine her design, marketing and online skills with her 30+ years of sobriety to bring the message of hope to families struggling with addiction.
Please visit Changing Lives Foundation website


RESOURCES:
> Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts.

> Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

Why Don't They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.



Why Don’t They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.
~By Joe Herzanek

New! 2016 Multi-Award-Winning Updated Edition!
Contains 7 new chapters and info on: Heroin, Shame & Stigma, Harm Reduction, Marijuana, Synthetic Drugs, 12-Step Groups & The Church, and much more!

Amazon.com reviews:
As the mom of a child struggling with addiction,
and the author of ‘The Joey Song: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction,’ my ‘go to’ book is still “Why Don’t They Just Quit? ~Sandy Swenson

Best book ever about addiction. Written by one whose done it and is recovering. Easy to read, not preachy, just honest. I recommend this book to anyone with an addict in their life! ~Lynda A

Got an addiction problem in your family? Read this book. Joe knows his stuff. This book helps you to better understand those who are dealing with friends and family that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I have read several of these books but this one is the best. ~RJ

> Paperback
> Audio Book CD (Listen to the book)
> Kindle
> Audible Audio Download (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE NOW)

Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Author ASK JOE:
> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?

> Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>Should my husband “back off?”

>Gambling vs. Drug Addiction? What is your opinion?

>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?

RETURN:
from “The Value of Consequences.” to Blog Home
_________________________________________________
Value of Consequences, Value of Consequences

 

 

 

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How Alcoholism Affects the Entire Family

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How Alcoholism Affects the Entire Family

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2015

~By Jail Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Family Addiction Counselor and Author of Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”

This article is included in the current FREE magazine download:  Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2015  (Page 21).

Alcoholism is devastating to all members of the family. Family members may have watched someone they love turn into a stranger. They ask, “How did this happen? Why didn’t we see it sooner? Are we somehow to blame? How do we make it stop? What if we can’t make it stop? Why won’t this person listen to us? Can’t they see what’s happening to them?” The list is long.

From the shared experiences of Al-Anon members at meetings and in Al-Anon literature, the family learns that alcoholism is not their fault. With that understanding, some of the pressure is lifted. By attending Al-Anon meetings, my clients gain clarity and peace of mind, so that they can take positive action.

“My family phone counseling clients who attend Al-Anon meetings come to understand that they can have peace, regardless of their loved one’s poor choices.”

Al-Anon supplements and reinforces the information I give my clients about alcoholism as a disease. My clients gain encouragement from attending Al-Anon meetings. The importance of this cannot be overstated.

Doing what’s best (which sometimes means doing nothing—but allowing consequences to happen) is often extremely challenging. Al-Anon members help and play a special role because they are like-minded and share common experiences as a result of living with an alcoholic.

My phone counseling clients who attend Al-Anon meetings come to understand that they can have peace, regardless of their loved one’s poor choices. Family members learn that recovery is a process that takes time. But they learn that they are not alone, and that help is available from the Al-Anon program.

FAMILY PHONE COUNSELING:
> Phone Counseling for Family Members

Gain peace of mind, knowing that you are taking the steps necessary to begin healing and recovery—for your loved-one and your family.

MORE Al-ANON-RELATED ARTICLES:
> Why is Addiction Called A Family Disease?
> Twelve Signs of A Spiritual Awakening in Al-Anon
> The Critical Role of Al-Anon in Family Addiction Recovery
> Are AA, Nar-Anon or Al-Anon twelve-step meetings really important?

RESOURCES:
> Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts
> Phone Counseling for Family Members
>
Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts
> Low cost, No cost Alcohol and Drug Treatment Directory
> Drug Addiction and Alcoholism Recovery Resources for Friends, Families and Employers

Why Don't They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.
Get the help you need today.
Why Don’t They Just Quit?
What families and friends need to know
about addiction and recovery

Author/Chaplain Joe HerzanekTo arrange a workshop or presentation at your organization
call: 303.775.6493 or email: Jherzanek@gmail.com

More info about Speaking Engagements with Author/Chaplain Joe Herzanek


RETURN:
From “How Alcoholism Affects the Entire Family
to Changing Lives Foundation Blog Home

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When Your Child’s Addiction Becomes Your Own

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When Your Child’s Addiction Becomes Your Own

When Your Child’s Addiction Becomes Your Own

Many thanks to our guest blog author
—who wishes to remain anonymous.

From the moment you give birth, an innate force within secures a powerful and concentrated intent at the deepest level to protect your precious child, protect them from harm. As a parent, you accept this role with reverence as it carries the highest priority.

Holding your child carefully, keeping them warm, nourished and safe, you show them the immeasurable importance of their place on earth. They feel loved and of great value, knowing that you care about their happiness, comfort and fulfillment. You are their greatest fan and root them on as they step into the world, deciding for themselves how they wish to engage in the life experience. Seeing them off, deep steadfast desires to protect surge through you still. As their caretaker for many years, this powerful urge does not ever truly end. You simply let go, hoping the years of love, guidance and care remain as the foundation for their own ability to keep themselves safe from harm.



What happens when your child is involved in one of the most harmful behaviors possible and they fall away from the safety you worked so hard to instill, strengthen and ensure? How do you handle watching them sink deeper into a world that seems to swallow them into darkness, an unreachable place where you feel powerless – the world of addiction?

Addiction is dangerous and destructive to everything you have committed to keep safe. How do you protect your child? Your natural instinct is to shield them from harm, however in your attempts to do this, the addiction begins to engulf your life as well. This is when your child’s addiction becomes your own.

Three major reasons for this are:

1) Believing you have the power to change or control the person/addiction.

Feeling powerless, you strive for ways to gain a sense of control – life centers around fixing the problem and dealing with the addiction’s consequences.

Attempts to gain control are:

• Becoming a “perfect” parent, supporter, nurturer
• Being careful about everything you say and do
• Peacekeeping
• Taking care of the child’s needs over your own

2) Treating addiction as a moral, behavioral issue rather than an illness.

Expecting rational thinking from an irrational, altered state of perception – addictions cease to be rational by their very nature. Usual support and guidance are ineffective. When tried, there is a great sense of failure, frustration and hopelessness for all involved.

3) Believing the addiction means something about you.

Self-blaming causes guilt, anger, regret, and a sense of inadequacy as a parent. Identifying with your child’s addiction – either feeling responsible for fixing it or unable to face it. The key is not gaining control or changing the addiction. It is understanding you have no control over the addiction. You do, however, have power; the power to let go.

Letting go is:

• Supporting, not fixing
• Permitting another to face reality
• Allowing consequences
• Not taking responsibility for them
• Admitting the outcome is not in your hands
• Acceptance

In letting go, you truly embrace your parental power, by being the example of that which you wish them to do. The addict will be most positively affected by a healthy parent who takes care of themselves, has good boundaries, follows through, respects themselves and honors their life. You don’t need to control or change the addict’s actions, but you can learn to change your responses.



You best help your addicted child by:

• Reaching out for support of others who have been through it
• Expressing your feelings
• Letting your child solve the problems their addiction creates
• Focusing on one day at a time
• Not determining your choices by theirs
• Not doing for them what they can do for themselves

Remember, your child doesn’t need you to take them away from their journey toward discovering their light, they simply need to see your light shining as a reminder along the way.

RESOURCES:
Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

Why Don't They Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.

2016 Updated and Revised


Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.

> Paperback (Amazon.com)

> Audio Book CD (Listen in your car)

> Kindle

> Audible Audio Download  (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE)

RETURN:
FROM : “When Your Child’s Addiction Becomes Your Own”
TO CHANGING LIVES FOUNDATION BLOG HOME

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