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"Why Don't They Just Quit?"
Book & DVD Combo

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Answers and solutions
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End the drama
How to handle relapse

Regain control of your life

Real solutions,
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How to show your love
  without enabling

 

The 10 Toughest Questions
Families and Friends Ask
About Addiction & Recovery

Simple, straightforward, no-nonsense answers to the most often-asked questions. A valuable tool when you don't have time to wade through volumes of material.


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Self-Tests: Codependence

Codependence (Co-Addiction) Self-Test:

Take this Codependence Self-Test for yourself, or for someone you love. Indicate your response to the following statements:

1.  I find it very difficult to say “no” without feeling guilty.

__Yes
__No

2.  I try very hard to please others, but I seldom feel that I measure up.

__Yes
__No

3.  I'm in a significant relationship with someone who is addicted to a substance or a behavior, or to someone who is depressed.

__Yes
__No

4. I can accurately “read” other people by analyzing their facial expressions and tone of voice.

__Yes
__No

5.  I feel responsible for almost everybody and everything, but I feel guilty much of the time.
__Yes
__No

6. I vacillate between defending the irresponsible person in my life and blowing up in anger at him or her.

__Yes
__No

7. I feel that I have to protect people, especially the depressed or addicted person in my life.

__Yes
__No

8. I feel overly frightened of angry people.

__Yes
__No

9.  I live in such a way that no one can ever say I’m selfish.

__Yes
__No

10. I often relive situations and conversations to see if I can think of some way I could have responded or spoken better.

__Yes
__No

11. In order to avoid feeling guilt and shame, I seldom stand up to people who disagree with me.

__Yes
__No

12. Sometimes I have a lot of energy to help people, but sometimes I feel drained, ambivalent and depressed.

__Yes
__No

13. I'm terribly offended by personal criticism.

__Yes
__No

14. Although I try to please people, I often feel isolated and alone.

__Yes
__No

15. I tend to see people and situations as “all good” or “all bad.”

__Yes
__No

16. I trust people—either too much or not at all.

__Yes
__No

17. Often, I will try to get people I love to change their attitudes and behavior.

__Yes
__No

18. I tend to believe promises made by the addicted or depressed person, even if he or she has broken countless promises before.

__Yes
__No

19. Often, I give advice, even when it isn’t requested.

__Yes
__No

20. I tend to confuse love with pity, and I tend to love those who need me to rescue them from their problems.

__Yes
__No

21. I believe I can’t be happy unless others, especially the needy people in my life, are happy.

__Yes
__No

22. I'm defensive when someone points out my faults.

__Yes
__No

23. My thoughts are often consumed with the troubles and needs of the addicted or depressed person in my life.

__Yes
__No

24. I am often a victim in broken or strained relationships.

__Yes
__No

25. I feel wonderful when I can fix other people's problems, but I feel terrible when I can’t.

__Yes
__No

 

Add up your totals and type them into the "Yes" and "No" boxes. (Your responses will NOT be sent anywhere, this is for your information only.)

Totals: Yes No


• If you answered “yes” to 5 or fewer statements, you have relatively healthy boundaries, confidence and wisdom in relationships. You can care about people without feeling responsible for their choices.

• If you answered “yes” to 6–12 statements, your life is shaped to a significant degree by the demands of needy people in your life. You often feel responsible for the choices others make, and you try too hard to help them make the right ones. You would benefit from the input of a competent counselor or support group.

• If you answered “yes” to 13 or morestatements, you have lost your sense of identity, and you are consumed by the problems of addicted or depressed people in your life. You can’t be happy unless you are rescuing irresponsible people from their destructive decisions. In reality, however, your hope for sanity and emotional health is not in that person getting well. You have to take steps to get well whether that person does or not. Find a counselor or support group to help you gain wisdom and strength.

Info provided to Changing Lives Foundation with permission by: addiction2recovery

 

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For many more resources, visit our page:
Drug Addiction Help Recovery Resources for Friends, Families and Employers

RELATED ARTICLES:
Co-Dependency, DO WE ''VOLUNTEER FOR ABUSE''?

 

RETURN:
Return from Codependence Self-Test to Home

 

NEED HELP NOW?
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling and Professional Intervention Services for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

 

If someone in your family is violent, threatening to become violent, suicidal, missing or acting in ways that are out-of-control, call 911 to reach your local police or emergency medical services. For chronic problems, contact your doctor or social services in your community.


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