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“Teens Under the Influence”

Teens Under the Influence/Recovery Television

Joe Herzanek interviews Don Williams, Clearbrook Lodge, PA



Don Williams
Executive Director/Clearbrook Lodge
Host: Joe Herzanek

Don Williams, the guest for this show,
has worked for over twenty years exclusively with adolescents.

The teen years are perhaps the most challenging of all.
And what happens during this time will often determine the quality of life
for not only the teen but also the entire family.

Don’s insight and advice for parents
can not only shorten this difficult time

but also restore those broken relationships
and bring harmony to back to the family.

Covered here, are tips on blending empathy, tough love
and compassion, to help a young person recover.

This show is one of our favorites.

(Playing time: 28:30 Minutes)

Changing Lives Foundation Logoto order your copy of this DVD, please donate (below) to our
Book Scholarship Fund:

For as little as $10 you can make a difference
for someone without the means to pay.

(Choose from 10 different DVD topics)

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Gift Amount:


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READ MORE ABOUT EACH OF THE 10 DVD CHOICES:

(click each title for more detailed info on each DVD)

1) God and the Alcoholic Experience, with author James B. Nelson

2) The Addicted Brain, with Michael Connelly/Odyssey Training

3) Meth, The Devil’s Drug, with Tonya Wheeler and Dr. Nicolas Taylor

4) What is Addiction? with Michael Connelly/Odyssey Training

5) Women in Recovery, with Rebecca J. Flood and Helena Routhe

6) The Journey of Recovery, with Mike Richards/addiction2recovery

7) Teens Under the Influence, with Don Williams/Clearbrook Lodge

8) The Haven, Moms and Meth: Breaking the Cycle,
with Julie Krow/The Haven

9) Substance Use and The Workplace,
with Jennifer Place and Sean Stevens/Peer Assistance

10) Pornography, The Hidden Epidemic,
with Mike Richards/addiction2recovery

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Joe Herzanek gives Keynote Address at Co. Springs Drug Court GraduationOn Wednesday, October 20, 2010 Changing Lives Foundation/Joe Herzanek was honored to have the privilege of conducting the Keynote Address for the Adult Drug Treatment Court Graduation in Colorado Springs, CO.

During his address, Joe spoke of his (often humorous) past experiences, displaying a large “before photo” of himself, and ended the ceremony by leading the group in an emotional “pledge” —first recited by the new graduates, and followed by friends and family (see below). We have reprinted the feature article on this event that appeared recently in the Colorado Springs Gazette.

We received many great comments regarding the keynote address by Joe Herzanek at our Drug Court graduation ceremony. The attendees related to Mr. Herzanek’s personal experience on the road to addiction recovery and were encouraged by his long term success.  He made them laugh at some of his (and their) choices, and reached them with down to earth examples that hit home with their recovery challenges. We were pleased to have Joe speak at our graduation and hope to have him back again.

~ Marilyn Burnett/Program Manager: Adult Drug Treatment Court State of Colorado 4th Judicial District Court, Division 5L

Second chances: Drug Court helps people turn lives around

November 27, 2010
Barbara Cotter/The Gazette Photos by Mark Reis, The Gazette

Deanna Simmons chokes up as she grabs the microphone in the jury room of the Fourth Judicial District courthouse, but who can blame her? This is her night to graduate from Drug Court, and it represents a huge step in mending the life she shattered with her meth addiction.

“In this room, I had supervised visits with my son,” the 40-year-old woman tells a roomful of other Drug Court participants and their families. “Now, I get to take him home with me.”

The crowd applauds as Simmons returns to her seat and hugs her 12-year-old son and her mother.

It’s another success story for Drug Court, an 11-year-old program for people facing their first-ever felony drug charge. It relies on a team of two psychotherapists, two probation officers, a prosecutor from the District Attorney’s office and Magistrate Lisa Kirkman to assess the offenders’ issues and needs, equip them with a “toolbox” of coping strategies and plug them into services to help them get clean and stay that way.

“We wrap ’em up in services,” Kirkman says.

As of Oct. 19, 624 people had successfully completed the program, representing a graduation rate of about 76 percent. The graduates are rewarded with dismissal of the charge that got them into Drug Court in the first place. If they can stay clean for two years after graduation and undergo aftercare for the first of those two years, they can even get their records sealed.

But the biggest reward goes beyond their status with the legal system. They leave with a sense of accomplishment, higher self-esteem, a much healthier body, a set of coping tools and the prospect of a rosier future, the Drug Court team says.

“It’s changed my life,” says 32-year-old Bonnie Norris, a habitual meth user and mother of an 11-year-old daughter. “My goals are to graduate, stay sober, raise my daughter without drugs, move up in my job and get my GED.” She eventually wants to be a crime scene investigator.

Four “strikes” allowed

For Simmons, Norris and the 120 or so others in the program at any given time, Kirkman’s courtroom is a place of second chances. And third.

And even more.

Joe Herzanek displays "before" photo at Co. Springs Drug Court Graduation

Joe Herzanek displays "before" photo at Co. Springs Drug Court Graduation

We never lose hope in Drug Court,” says Kirkman.

Magistrate Lisa Kirkman claps for the 100 days of sobriety for Drug Court participant Kathrin Bueche Wednesday, October 20, 2010.

Magistrate Lisa Kirkman claps for the 100 days of sobriety for Drug Court participant Kathrin Bueche Wednesday, October 20, 2010.

Most participants can finish the program in a year as they pass through three phases that require several commitments: random drug tests, meetings with probation officers, regularly scheduled court appearances and the presentation of a “life plan” after the last phase.

They’re allowed up to four “strikes” — mistakes — in the first two phases, and one in the third.

Even that isn’t hard and fast, however, because the DA can combine strikes “and give more opportunity to people,” Kirkman says.

“I had five strikes in my first three weeks. I wasn’t taking it seriously,” says 25-year-old Chelsea Oubre, who expects to be in the next group of graduates.

“I kept using. I went back to jail.”

Jail is the consequence for the more egregious violations, such as a missed or “hot” urinalysis tests.

Other violations, such as missing a treatment group, might bring a requirement for public service and electronic home monitoring.

“One of the reasons Drug Court works is that consequences for behavior are immediate and swift,” the program material states.

But Kirkman says the strike system isn’t front and center in the program.

“It’s not so focused on strikes as it is on accountability, honesty and success,” she says.

Ironically, Kirkman was once known as “lock ’em up Lisa,” a reference to her success rate as a prosecutor, which included the prosecution of many drug crimes.

She helped launch Drug Court in 1999 and served as prosecutor, then was appointed magistrate.

She left the position for two years to go back to the DA’s Office, but then returned to being magistrate.

“I really like to see people changing their lives; I like to be part of the solution,” says Kirkman, who has four children, including a set of twins.

And so she goes to extraordinary lengths to keep these first-time drug offenders out of lockup, and she does it with a velvet hammer.

Her courtroom is a place where applause breaks out at any piece of good news. Oubre announces she’s pregnant.

Applause.

One man says he’s been drug-free for 10 months.

Applause.

Someone else has come up with productive ways to combat the boredom that would ordinarily have sent him running for a high.

More applause.

But it’s not just the supportive atmosphere of Kirkman’s courtroom that sets it apart from many others. It’s her approach — part concerned

mother, part savvy social worker, part humorist, part cheerleader, part stern but loving teacher — that she uses with each person who steps up for his or her case review.

“Remember: Mistakes are for learning,” she tells one man who messed up and received a “strike.” “What did you learn from your mistake?”

“Don’t hang out with those people no more,” he says with a grin.

“That would be like me hanging out in a bakery,” she responds, drawing a laugh from everyone in the

Deputy state public defender Carrie Lynn Thompson, right, listens as David Jones talks about charges he faces during an appearance in Drug Court

Deputy state public defender Carrie Lynn Thompson, right, listens as David Jones talks about charges he faces during an appearance in Drug Court

courtroom. “It would be ugly.”

Another man is about to move up into another phase of the program, but Kirkman looks at his charts and notices he has a legal issue to clear up: He was throwing things at cars.

“You’re not going to do that again, are you?” she says. Then she tells him the prosecutor is going to look into having the charge related to the offense dropped, so it won’t affect his status in Drug Court.

“That’s a huge gift,” Kirkman tells him. “Remember: An instant decision can change your whole future.”

Recognizing the individual

The parade of people continues its march in front of Kirkman’s bench, where a sign behind her reads “Justice with Heart.”

She asks about their children, and what character the kids will be for Halloween.

She notices improvements in their physical appearance, and keeps encouraging them, even those who show up in orange jail suits because they’ve failed a drug test or done something else to incur a strike.

She passes along phone numbers of treatment providers, asks family members if they can afford medical expenses, makes a note to follow up on dental care for Bonnie Norris, whose teeth are missing, though not from meth.

Kirkman believes it’s imperative to make sure participants are covered on the basics, including health care.

“Safe housing, food and water — we focus on these three first,” she says.

“Then, when they’re sober, we work on their health. They’re encouraged to see doctors and get their bodies healthy.”

Because many of the people are on the lower end of the economic scale and don’t have health insurance, the Drug Court team works with organizations to address their physical and mental health needs and get them medications.

They work with sobering houses to find people a supportive, drug-free place to live.

They’ve hooked up with an organization that arranges outdoors activities for people trying to stay off drugs and alcohol.

“Just about anything we can think of that will help, we try to plug into,” Kirkman says.

A huge component of the program is the team approach to handling each case.

Kirkman, prosecutor Judy Haller and DA volunteer Leticia Cisneros, therapists Gregory Ortega and Laura Fetters, and probation officers Jennifer Jones and Mike Hernandez meet regularly to discuss each Drug Court participant, what obstacles the person might be facing, and what he or she might need to succeed.

Most team members have been with Drug Court for at least four years, and they operate like a well-oiled machine.

“They have a very strong team that’s cohesive,” says Carrie Thompson, head of the Office of the Colorado State Public Defender office here.

“It’s been enlightening to see how they can work as a team, because that’s a concept that’s not in the regular court system.”

No easy process

Despite the best efforts of the team, about two in 10 people fail the Drug Court program, and they end up with a felony conviction, the result of a plea bargain they entered to get into the program. (Read about long-term studies on drug courts here.)

Team members also know some people will slip up after graduation, although they haven’t extensively tracked anyone long term.

“I think we can all think of a few cases where someone relapsed,” Haller says.

“That’s the reality of addiction,” Kirkman adds.

Still, they hope that the graduates will commit to long-term sobriety, but they know it’s not easy.

People often have to change their circle of friends, their routines, their whole reality. “It’s brutal,” Haller says.

 

Drug Court Graduate's Pledge

Drug Court Graduate's Pledge. ~By Joe Herzanek (click image for larger view)

But those who stick with it — and even some who are getting their first blush of sobriety through Drug Court — start to see the possibilities of a drug-free life.

“There’s a lot of drama, a lot of turmoil, chasing a bag,” says 45-year-old Gary Daily Jr., who used meth for 30 years before cleaning up nine months ago and is moving into the third phase of the program.

“I feel at peace. I still have my moments of life that are not always joyful, but I deal with it in different ways.”

If he graduates, he’ll get to go up to the podium at the next graduation ceremony, as Deanna Simmons and about a dozen other people did one evening last month, and go through the rites of passage.

He’ll hug Kirkman and, perhaps, some of the team members who are sitting off to the side, applauding his accomplishments.

He might say a few words of encouragement to the crowd, as several of the graduates did.

And Kirkman will give him a parting gift: his booking photo.

____________________________________________

To contact Joe Herzanek for Family Workshops, speaking engagements or one-on-one phone counseling:
Call: 303.775.6493 or Email Changing Lives Foundation: jherzanek@gmail.com

NEED HELP NOW?
Joe Herzanek, Addiction CounselorDrug Addiction Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

 

December 15, 2010 by jherzanek | No comments

Home from RehabThey’re BAAaaack! What should you do when he comes home from treatment?

What Now?
When the recovering person comes home from treatment, the real journey is about to begin. They have just been immersed in a crash course—Everything you need to know about addiction and how to live substance free. Coming home is an important event. How successfully will your husband apply his newfound wisdom? Will your friend be able to make a lasting change now that she is back in the real world?  Remember, they just left a safe place where they made friends and received daily encouragement—and now they are back, facing many of the harsh realities of life.

Most likely, your loved one will feel a real sense of accomplishment, having successfully completed the program. Having confidence that he can start a new life is a good thing. At the same time, however, he is about to receive his first dose of reality as he is home from treatment. Now all the knowledge he gained about recovery must be practically lived out. He is going to have a myriad of questions: How do I tell old friends about my new life? How are they going to react? How am I going to react if they aren’t supportive of my new lifestyle? Will I have the strength? What will I say? Who should I see and who should I avoid? What do I need to start doing right now to avoid using again? Where will I find a new group to belong to? What if I don’t find a group of people I like? How hard do I have to work to stay away from alcohol or drugs? Do I have what it takes to do this?

Seek Support
All recovering addicts must decide what they need to do to continue their lives in recovery with success and then follow through with action—all by themselves. In light of their own circumstances, only they can take the next step. Obviously many people and groups can be helpful, but it’s the individual that must decide to seek out the support that will make his commitment to change successful. This needs to happen soon. Some form of support will be needed to keep this recovery ball rolling, whether it’s AA, NA, an outpatient group, or counseling. This period of time, when the person has just returned home from treatment, is when all the talk and good intentions need to turn into positive action.

It should not take long to determine the sincerity of the recovering person. Actions speak louder than words, and no one successfully recovers alone. How much and how long the person makes use of outside support will depend on the situation, but everyone will need some form of support as they adjust to life on life’s terms.

What to Do
So as a family member or friend, what do you do? If possible, anticipate this situation by meeting with treatment staff for sound advice before your loved one comes home from treatment. This can be a time to debrief and get answers to some of your questions. Try not to be overly self-conscious about what you do or say to the person returning home. You don’t need to be walking on eggshells. Talking about recovery and encouraging someone is a good thing. By the same token, recovery shouldn’t dominate all discussions. The process is just beginning, and you should give it time. The recovering person is trying to build a new life—one they can call normal. The more they see that life can be normal without using, and that they can deal successfully with everyday situations, the more motivated and encouraged they will be to continue with sober living. It may take time, but it does become easier.

When I returned home from treatment, I was both confident and scared at the same time. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but it’s true. I was having an internal battle: part of me believed that I would do whatever it took to stay away from drugs, but another part of me wasn’t sure about the “do whatever it takes” strategy that we had discussed in treatment. My family knew it wasn’t going to be easy. For the most part, they left me alone. When they saw that I made the effort to go to work and regularly attend my group meetings, the atmosphere gradually grew more relaxed. They saw that I was moving in the right direction and seemed to discern that it was okay to trust me. I’m glad they gave me some space. I guess they knew they didn’t have the answers I needed anyway. Only another recovering person can really understand what it’s like, so my parents and family could not fully put themselves in my situation. Their ability to understand what I was going through was limited, yet I needed their support.  This is when I began to spend a lot of time with other recovering people.

Not everyone will be able to go to a residential treatment center; therefore, recovery will look a little different in such cases. It will mean attending a lot of evening and weekend groups. A healthy level of busyness can help ensure sobriety. Work and recovery should be the two main priorities for those in recovery. If your loved one is not working, then that means they should spend more time attending groups. Idle time can be a strong temptation to revert to old habits.

For families in this recovery situation, encouraging the recovering addict to continue with his new life and not give up will take a great deal of patience. Because the user has not been totally removed from his life setting, it may take longer for him to become strong. Remember, you have a limited understanding of addiction and recovery, so attending some Al-Anon or “open” AA meetings would be an excellent idea. This will give you more knowledge about what your loved one might be going through. In addition, these meetings are a way for people in similar situations to connect and give one another support and advice. Attending these meetings is also a huge sign of support from you to your friend or loved one.

In some cases, it would benefit the recovering person to temporarily relocate. If they can live with a relative or friend for a few months, it will give them a chance to concentrate on their recovery without the pressures of dealing with old buddies, bad influences, and triggers that can cause a relapse.

If you have been a positive influence in this person’s life, continue that support. However, you will need to provide a healthy balance of support. Don’t smother them with an unusual amount of concern, as this will make them feel self-conscious. On the other hand, don’t distance yourself, because you may be afraid and unsure how to act around them. Be yourself. Help them to see that life without using can be fun. They may have been afraid of losing all their friends, including you. Be a friend. Good friends who don’t use are what they need.

It won’t take long to figure out how serious your loved one is about their new life. Their attitude will be one indication of how they are adjusting. Admitting complete defeat in the face of addiction is a humbling experience. In my case, life in recovery meant acting differently than I did before: striving to listen to others without overreacting, and learning how to be patient. This again is a process that takes time. Some moodiness should be expected, but if it persists it needs to be addressed, as it could be a sign of too much stress. It could also be a result of the void created by not using, sadness from losing old friends, and abandoning an old lifestyle that defined who they were.

There will be some peaks and valleys in early recovery. Remember: If relapse occurs, don’t be too harsh. Rather, be concerned about the next step they need to take. If your struggling friend gets right back to their recovery program, then stay as optimistic as possible. And when they fall down, help them to get back up and moving in the right direction. Remember, recovery is a process, and your relationship with your friend or loved one can greatly impact their desire to stay on course and make the right choices.

This article excerpted from Part 4/Life in Recovery: Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.

Home from Treatment, Home from Treatment, Home from Treatment
_______________________________________________________

Chaplain Joe HerzanekTried everything?

Wise Counsel and Professional Intervention Services for Your Situation.

Providing families in crisis with over 30 years of real-life,
hands-on experience and success
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Your situation may be unique, but it’s not hopeless.
We specialize in those tough, “seemingly impossible” situations.

There IS a solution. Together we can formulate a plan to restore sanity to your life—saving you and your family time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache.

Learn more about personalized consultations
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(in person or by phone)

Call: (303) 775.6493
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to learn more about this option.
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Related:
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December 7, 2010 by jherzanek | No comments

DEA BannerMARIJUANA: THE FACTS


Q: Does marijuana pose health risks to users?

  • Marijuana is an addictive drug1with significant health consequences to its users and others. Many harmful short-term and long-term problems have been documented with its use:
  • The short term effects of marijuana use includes: memory loss, distorted perception, trouble with thinking and problem solving, loss of motor skills, decrease in muscle strength, increased heart rate, and anxiety2.
  • In recent years there has been a dramatic increase in the number of emergency room mentions of marijuana use. From 1993-2000, the number of emergency room marijuana mentions more than tripled.
  • There are also many long-term health consequences of marijuana use. According to the National Institutes of Health, studies show that someone who smokes five joints per week may be taking in as many cancer-causing chemicals as someone who smokes a full pack of cigarettes every day.
  • Marijuana contains more than 400 chemicals, including most of the harmful substances found in tobacco smoke. Smoking one marijuana cigarette deposits about four times more tar into the lungs than a filtered tobacco cigarette.
  • Harvard University researchers report that the risk of a heart attack is five times higher than usual in the hour after smoking marijuana.3
  • Smoking marijuana also weakens the immune system4 and raises the risk of lung infections.5 A Columbia University study found that a control group smoking a single marijuana cigarette every other day for a year had a white-blood-cell count that was 39 percent lower than normal, thus damaging the immune system and making the user far more susceptible to infection and sickness.6
  • Users can become dependent on marijuana to the point they must seek treatment to stop abusing it. In 1999, more than 200,000 Americans entered substance abuse treatment primarily for marijuana abuse and dependence.
  • More teens are in treatment for marijuana use than for any other drug or for alcohol. Adolescent admissions to substance abuse facilities for marijuana grew from 43 percent of all adolescent admissions in 1994 to 60 percent in 1999.
  • Marijuana is much stronger now than it was decades ago. According to data from the Potency Monitoring Project at the University of Mississippi, the tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) content of commercial-grade marijuana rose from an average of 3.71 percent in 1985 to an average of 5.57 percent in 1998. The average THC content of U.S. produced sinsemilla increased from 3.2 percent in 1977 to 12.8 percent in 1997.7

Q. Does marijuana have any medical value?

  • Any determination of a drug’s valid medical use must be based on the best available science undertaken by medical professionals. The Institute of Medicine conducted a comprehensive study in 1999 to assess the potential health benefits of marijuana and its constituent cannabinoids. The study concluded that smoking marijuana is not recommended for the treatment of any disease condition. In addition, there are more effective medications currently available. For those reasons, the Institute of Medicine concluded that there is little future in smoked marijuana as a medically approved medication.8
  • Advocates have promoted the use of marijuana to treat medical conditions such as glaucoma. However, this is a good example of more effective medicines already available. According to the Institute of Medicine, there are six classes of drugs and multiple surgical techniques that are available to treat glaucoma that effectively slow the progression of this disease by reducing high intraocular pressure.
  • In other studies, smoked marijuana has been shown to cause a variety of health problems, including cancer, respiratory problems, increased heart rate, loss of motor skills, and increased heart rate. Furthermore, marijuana can affect the immune system by impairing the ability of T-cells to fight off infections, demonstrating that marijuana can do more harm than good in people with already compromised immune systems.9
  • In addition, in a recent study by the Mayo Clinic, THC was shown to be less effective than standard treatments in helping cancer patients regain lost appetites.10

  • The DEA supports research into the safety and efficacy of THC (the major psychoactive component of marijuana), and such studies are ongoing, supported by grants from the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
  • As a result of such research, a synthetic THC drug, Marinol, has been available to the public since 1985. The Food and Drug Administration has determined that Marinol is safe, effective, and has therapeutic benefits for use as a treatment for nausea and vomiting associated with cancer chemotherapy, and as a treatment of weight loss in patients with AIDS. However, it does not produce the harmful health effects associated with smoking marijuana.
  • Furthermore, the DEA recently approved the University of California San Diego to undertake rigorous scientific studies to assess the safety and efficacy of cannabis compounds for treating certain debilitating medical conditions.
  • It’s also important to realize that the campaign to allow marijuana to be used as medicine is a tactical maneuver in an overall strategy to completely legalize all drugs. Pro-legalization groups have transformed the debate from decriminalizing drug use to one of compassion and care for people with serious diseases. The New York Times interviewed Ethan Nadelman, Director of the Lindesmith Center, in January 2000. Responding to criticism from former Drug Czar Barry McCaffrey that the medical marijuana issue is a stalking-horse for drug legalization, Mr. Nadelman did not contradict General McCaffrey. “Will it help lead toward marijuana legaization?” Mr. Nadelman said: “I hope so.”

Q. Does marijuana harm anyone besides the individual who smokes it?

  • Consider the public safety of others when confronted with intoxicated drug users:
  • Marijuana affects many skills required for safe driving: alertness, the ability to concentrate, coordination, and reaction time. These effects can last up to 24 hours after smoking marijuana. Marijuana use can make it difficult to judge distances and react to signals and signs on the road.11
  • In a 1990 report, the National Transportation Safety Board studied 182 fatal truck accidents. It found that just as many of the accidents were caused by drivers using marijuana as were caused by alcohol — 12.5 percent in each case.
  • Consider also that drug use, including marijuana, contributes to crime. A large percentage of those arrested for crimes test positive for marijuana. Nationwide, 40 percent of adult males tested positive for marijuana at the time of their arrest.

Q. Is marijuana a gateway drug?

  • Yes. Among marijuana’s most harmful consequences is its role in leading to the use of other illegal drugs like heroin and cocaine. Long-term studies of students who use drugs show that very few young people use other illegal drugs without first trying marijuana. While not all people who use marijuana go on to use other drugs, using marijuana sometimes lowers inhibitions about drug use and exposes users to a culture that encourages use of other drugs.
  • The risk of using cocaine has been estimated to be more than 104 times greater for those who have tried marijuana than for those who have never tried it.12

In Summary:

  • Marijuana is a dangerous, addictive drug that poses significant health threats to users.
  • Marijuana has no medical value that can’t be met more effectively by legal drugs.
  • Marijuana users are far more likely to use other drugs like cocaine and heroin than non-marijuana users.
  • Drug legalizers use “medical marijuana” as red herring in effort to advocate broader legalization of drug use.1Herbert Kleber, Mitchell Rosenthal, “Drug Myths from Abroad: Leniency is Dangerous, not Compassionate” Foreign Affairs Magazine, September/October 1998. Drug Watch International “NIDA Director cites Studies that Marijuana is Addictive.” “Research Finds Marijuana is Addictive,” Washington Times, July 24, 1995.
    2National Institue of Drug Abuse, Journal of the American Medical Association, Journal of Clinical Phamacology, International Journal of Clinical Pharmacology and Therapeutics, Pharmacology Review.
    3“Marijuana and Heart Attacks” Washington Post, March 3, 2000
    4I. B. Adams and BR Martin, “Cannabis: Pharmacology and Toxicology in Animals and Humans” Addiction 91: 1585-1614. 1996.
    5National Institute of Drug Abuse, “Smoking Any Substance Raises Risk of Lung Infections” NIDA Notes, Volume 12, Number 1, January/February 1997.
    6Dr. James Dobson, “Marijuana Can Cause Great Harm” Washington Times, February 23, 1999.
    72000 National Drug Control Strategy Annual Report, page 13.
    8“Marijuana and Medicine: Assessing the Science Base,” Institute of Medicine, 1999.
    9See footnotes in response to question 4 regarding marijuana’s short and long term health effects.
    10“Marijuana Appetite Boost Lacking in Cancer Study” The New York Times, May 13, 2001.
    11Marijuana: Facts Parents Need to Know, National Institute on Drug Abuse, National Institutes of Health.
    12Marijuana: Facts Parents Need to Know, National Institute on Drug Abuse, National Institutes of Health.

Reprinted from http://www.justice.gov

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Marijuana Myths  Smoked Medical Marijuana  Marijuana Dangers Marijuana Myths  Smoked Medical Marijuana  Marijuana Dangers

November 16, 2010 by jherzanek | 6 comments

At Changing Lives we find that most of our clients are women who seem to deal with some common challenges. During the next few weeks we will be posting helpful tools for all who face these situations. Hope this one is helpful.

1. We accept ourselves fully, even while wanting to change parts of ourselves. There is a basic self-love and self-regard, which we carefully nurture and purposely expand.

2. We accept others as they are, without trying to change them to meet our needs.

3. We are in touch with our feelings and attitudes about every aspect of our lives, including our sexuality.


4. We cherish every aspect of ourselves: our personality, our appearance, our beliefs and values, our bodies, our interests and accomplishments. We validate ourselves rather than search for a relationship to give us a sense of self-worth.

5. Our self-esteem is great enough that we can enjoy being with others, especially those of the opposite sex, who are fine just as they are. We do not need to be needed to feel worthy.

6. We allow ourselves to be open and trusting with appropriate people. We are not afraid to be known at a deeply personal level, but we also do not expose ourselves to the exploitation of those who are not interested in our well-being.

7. We ask ourselves “Is this relationship good for me? Does it enable me to grow into all that I am capable of being?”

8. When a relationship is destructive, we are able to let go of it without experiencing disabling depression. We have a circle of supportive friends and healthy interests to see us through crises.

9. We value our own serenity above all else. All the struggles, drama and chaos of the past have lost their appeal. We are protective of ourselves, our health and well-being.

10. We know that a partnership, in order to work, must be between partners who share similar values, interests and goals, and who each have a capacity for intimacy. We also know that we are worthy of the best that life has to offer.

There are several phases in recovering from loving too much. The first phase begins when we realize what we are doing and wish we could stop. Next comes our willingness to get help for ourselves, followed by our actual initial attempt to secure help. After that, we enter the phase of recovery that requires our commitment to our own healing and our willingness to continue with our recovery program. During this period, we begin to change how we act, think, and feel. What once felt normal and familiar begins to feel uncomfortable and unhealthy. We enter the next phase of recovery when we start making choices that no longer follow our old patterns but enhance our lives and promote our well-being instead. Throughout the stages of recovery, self-love grows slowly and steadily. First we stop hating ourselves, then we become more tolerant of ourselves. Next, there is a burgeoning appreciation of our good qualities, and then self-acceptance develops. Finally, genuine self-love evolves.


Unless we have self-acceptance and self-love, we cannot tolerate being known, because without these feelings, we cannot believe we are worth loving just as we are. Instead, we try to earn love through giving it to another, through being nurturing and patient, through suffering and sacrifice, through providing exciting sex or wonderful cooking or whatever.

Once the self-acceptance and self-love begin to develop and take hold, we are then ready to consciously practice simply being ourselves without trying to please, without performing in certain ways calculated to gain another’s approval and love. But stopping the performances and letting go of the act, while a relief, can also be frightening. Awkwardness and a feeling of great vulnerability come over us when we are just being rather than doing. As we struggle to believe that we are worthy, just as we are, of the love of someone important to us, the temptation will always be there to put on at least a bit of an act for him, and yet if the recovery process has progressed there will also be an unwillingness to go back into old behaviors and old manipulations.

From “Women Who Love Too Much” pages 272-274.

Also read Joe Herzanek’s  article “Detachment. How can I?

_________________________________________________________

Chaplain Joe HerzanekTried everything?
Wise Counsel for Your Situation.

Providing families in need with over 30 years of real-life,
hands-on experience and success
.Your situation may be unique, but it’s not hopeless.
We specialize in those tough, “seemingly impossible” situations.

There IS a solution. Let me say that again—There IS a solution! Together we can formulate a plan to restore sanity to your life—saving you and your family time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache.

Learn more about Phone Consultations
with author/addiction counselor Chaplain Joe Herzanek.

Specialized to your unique situation.

Call: (303) 775.6493
or
Email: jherzanek@gmail.com

to learn more about this option.
Note:
At Changing Lives we know that the need for counseling is not run on an 8 to 5,
Monday through Friday schedule.

We are often available on weekends and even holidays.
Please don’t hesitate to call as the need arises.

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RELATED ARTICLES:
Detachment. How Can I?

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Alanon Faces Alcoholism 2011

Alanon Faces Alcoholism 2011

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2011

Changing Lives strongly encourages finding a good 12-step group and attending regularly. This brand new Al-Anon publication can answer many of your basic questions.

To Download your copy of Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2011

Contents:
• How drinking affects family members
With so much effort and attention focused on the drinker, family members often
ignore—or deny—what effect the drinking has on them.

Why the drinker’s family members need Al‑Anon
Al‑Anon members and professionals explain how family members can benefit from
the understanding and support of an Al‑Anon group.

Alcoholism is a family illness
Problem drinking is a complex issue that involves much more than just
the drinker’s behavior.


The Al‑Anon meeting is a safe, supportive environment
Al‑Anon Family Group meetings create opportunities for healing and growth.
The Al‑Anon program offers ‘tools’ that help people manage their lives better
Al‑Anon members share choices they have made that enable them to respond more effectively to the challenges of problem drinking.
Therapy and Al‑Anon complement each other
Professionals recommend Al‑Anon because it offers additional support.
Al‑Anon is a spiritual program, not religious
Everyone is welcome, regardless of religious affiliation or none.
Al‑Anon can still help, even if active alcoholism is no longer in your life
Sometimes when the drinker is gone, the effects of the drinking remain—until they are understood.


VISIT THIS SITE TO LOCATE A MEETING IN YOUR AREA

If you need help NOW
and just don’t know what your next steps should be,
Low-cost, affordable phonecounseling for family members with Joe Herzanek is just a phone call away.

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS


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Alanon Faces Alcoholism 2011 Alanon Faces Alcoholism 2011 Alanon Faces Alcoholism 2011

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Hold on Tight When Your Teen RebelsParents of Prodigals: Holding Tight When Your Teen Rebels

by Joe White


As this article states:

Each situation needs to be assessed individually.
Learn about phone counseling from
Author/Addiction Counselor Chaplain Joe Herzanek

The worst nightmare of many parents is to have a rebel — a kid who makes her own destructive way through life, ignoring everything she’s been taught, refusing to abide by any rules, causing chaos in the lives she touches. The fear is so great that some parents stress over everything their teens do, taking even normal behavior as a sure sign that their kids are headed for the edge of the cliff.


Other parents of prodigals do the opposite. They ignore obvious warning signs, hoping it’s a phase their kids will grow out of. I’ve talked with moms and dads who couldn’t believe the alarms they missed — a pot-smoking son coming home glassy-eyed and wanting to devour every snack in the house, an alcoholic daughter returning on weekend nights and vomiting on the front lawn.

One couple discovered their son had helped a friend break into a truck. Later they would say, “We didn’t think our son was capable of anything like that. Now we’re finding out, OK, he’s done some serious drugs, he’s been involved in a crime, he’s hanging with a kid we hate. That night started us on the process of determining what we should do with him because it was apparent we had a problem here that was bigger than we were.”

No parent wants to live through something like this. But more and more are being forced to these days. They’re finding that no matter what they did to raise their children right, it’s possible that one or more will rebel.

Parents of Prodigals—Don’t give up

This is a tough section to write. Tough because there’s no easy answer to your situation. Each kid is different and will take his own detours.

That’s why each situation needs to be assessed individually. Consulting a pastor or counselor is wise; sometimes more drastic measures need to be taken. When a teen is a threat to himself or others, for example, a place where well-trained professionals can monitor him 24 hours a day may be the best call. There are many good counselors and programs available.

The temptation is to walk away, to throw up your hands and surrender. You wouldn’t be alone if you did. Many parents want to give up — and do. Unable to take the pain any longer, they protect themselves by pretending it doesn’t matter. Their child screams, “Leave me alone!” and so they just do what he says, removing themselves emotionally from his life.


What these folks don’t realize is that even though the teen’s every action and word are designed to push the parents away, deep inside he longs for his mom and dad to hang tough, to keep trying — to be there for him no matter what.

Insights from Parents of Prodigals

It’s one thing for me to tell you what I’ve learned. What about parents who’ve watched their kids make bad choices, who’ve been dragged down the most dangerous detours, who’ve agonized and cried and prayed — yet somehow survived?

I’ve talked with moms and dads like these and want to share their insights with you. It’s surprising how many of them report learning similar things about what it takes to make it through. Here are some of their hard-won lessons. (For more on this subject, see the book Sticking With Your Teen.)

  • You can’t control your teen’s choices. Once your daughter leaves the house, there’s no telling what she’s doing. She can listen or not listen in class. She can throw out the good lunch you made and eat grease-laden fries covered with nacho cheese and suck down a 64-ounce Coke. She can take drugs, cheat on tests, drive drunk — or study hard and land in the top 10 percent of her class. She can be class president or class clown. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
  • Learn the art of relinquishment.This means letting go. It may mean releasing your dream for who your child would be, giving up control over your teen, leaving the results to God.
  • Get help for yourself and your family.If you broke your arm, you’d rush to the emergency room for help. So why are so many moms and dads ashamed to get help when a family is broken?Some folks prefer pastoral counseling; others opt for a therapist. Just take that initial step and get help.
  • If necessary, get your troubled teen out of the house to protect the rest of the family. When a teen becomes violent or brings home illegal activities like drug dealing, it’s time to act on behalf of your family’s safety.Forcing your teen to live elsewhere is no easy decision, and it should be made with the concurring wisdom of a professional. But if your teen is unmanageable, don’t hesitate to find a residential facility where he has a chance to turn his life around. At the very least, it’s a place for him to be relatively safe until he’s 18 and can sign himself out to live where he wishes.For help in locating a program or residential facility that might suit your situation, call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department at 800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).
  • Don’t be afraid to let others know what you’re dealing with. One parent admitted, “We didn’t want the whole world knowing [about our rebellious teen] because my husband was an elder in the church.”You don’t need to share details with gossipmongers, but be real. Many parents have been surprised at how their transparency proved helpful to families in similar situations. Pain shared is lessened; shared joy is increased.
  • Allow yourself some enjoyment. Many couples who have rebellious teens put themselves in suspended animation, grimly hanging on “until this thing is resolved.” Some feel guilty about having fun when they should be “doing something” about the problem; others are too vigilant, tense, worried or embarrassed to enjoy anything. But you can’t keep going without recharging.Don’t neglect the physical side of your relationship with your spouse. Take a weekend off. Set a regular date night, and don’t talk about the kids during that time. Relax in a bubble bath. Rent a funny movie, and watch it together.
  • Hold on to your core values. Don’t let the continuing crisis wear you down. Did you believe before that God knew you, right down to the number of hairs on your head? He still does. Have you always felt it was important to give your child a present on her birthday? It still is. Did you think you needed to use your gift of encouragement in the children’s ministry at church? You still do.
  • Try writing in a journal.Recording your thoughts, feelings and prayers can help you sort through the turmoil and discover what’s important. You can use a notebook, a blank book or a computer. You could even e-mail your entries to a trusted friend.


  • Be relentless.Never give up. Move forward no matter what. Don’t stop the good stuff. Try new things when old things aren’t working. Stick with the things you know are right. Love unconditionally. Stay put as a parent when you’d rather run.Karilee and Dan Hayden know the meaning of the word relentless. For over 10 years their daughter Wendi took a long and winding detour, making the most destructive choices along the way. But they hung in there — praying for her, loving her, never giving up. Wendi, like the prodigal son in Jesus’ parable, finally came around. (You can read the Hayden’s complete story in the Focus on the Family book Wild Child, Waiting Mom.)
  • Be tough and tender. You need a thick skin and a sensitive heart. That’s especially true when it comes to dealing with the comments of others. Even well-meaning people can be hurtful. Don’t let their barbs penetrate, but be tender enough to hear the supportive words others may offer.
Excerpted from Sticking with Your Teen. Copyright © 2006, Joe White. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

Joe HerzanekTried everything?

Need help now?

Phone Counseling and Intervention Services with Author/Addiction Counselor and Interventionist Joe Herzanek

Providing families in crisit with over 30 years of real-life,
hands-on experience and success
.Your situation may be unique, but it’s not hopeless.
We specialize in those tough, “seemingly impossible” situations.

There IS a solution. Let me say that again—There IS a solution! Together we can formulate a plan to restore sanity to your life—saving you and your family time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache.

Learn more about phone consultations with author/addiction counselor Chaplain Joe Herzanek.
Specialized to your unique situation.

(your first call is free)

Call: (303) 775.6493
or
Email: jherzanek@gmail.com

to learn more about this option.
(call now to speak to Joe about our many options)

Note:
At Changing Lives we know that the need for help is not run on an 8 to 5,
Monday through Friday schedule.

We are often available on weekends and even holidays.
Please don’t hesitate to call as the need arises.

SELF TESTS:
> Self-Tests: Codependence

> Self-Tests: Alcohol and Drug Addiction

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October 17, 2010 by jherzanek | No comments