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Should my husband “back off?”

October 30, 2009 in Al-Anon Related. . ., Ask Joe by jherzanek | 12 comments

ASK JOE

 

Joe HerzanekQ:
Dear Joe:
My son went to rehab for 30 days and just got out of jail (45 days). He is back living with my husband and me. My husband calls him constantly during the day to see what he is doing, He averages at least once an hour. When my son gets ready to go out for a walk or a bike ride, my husband right away is on him with 20 questions.

Am I wrong to think that all the questions and constantly checking on my son is pushing him back into trouble? When my son went to jail, he had a fight with his dad and ended up getting caught doing drugs. He ended up getting arrested and we did leave him there for the 45 days (His drug of choice is heroin). I feel that my husband needs to back off or my son will be back to the drugs. How are we supposed to treat our son?

I have read your book and really learned a lot from it. I even passed it along to a friend of mine that was going through her son’s problem with Vicodin and alcohol.

Walking on eggshells in Illinois,

~ Julie E., Chicago, Ill

A:
Dear Julie,

I agree, your husband is putting undue pressure on your son right now. Showing some concern and wanting to encourage is a good thing.

Being suspicious of his every move will only make things worse. It sounds like you’re already doing many things right especially letting him sit in jail. Your son going through thirty days of treatment was also a plus.

The next stage of recovery is ongoing support. Is he going to some kind of group that talks about staying away from drugs and alcohol? AA or NA are the two obvious places to go. NO ONE recovers all by themselves. Going to meetings, working the 12 Steps, and getting a sponsor are the most important three signs of a willingness to do whatever it takes. If he will do this he will succeed.

They talked a lot about this when he was in treatment. If they didn’t I would be very surprised.

I would tell dad to back off some. If your son wants to use dad can’t stop it anyway.

Keep in mind that recovery is a process. I don’t know your sons age but if he is in his late teens or early twenties then he is still an adolescent in some ways.

Be sure to take care of yourself while dealing with all the above. Al-anon is something to consider, or even some “open” AA meetings. Ask his treatment center for guidance as well. There are resources available.

With effort and time this can all pass and life can be much more enjoyable again. Sometimes it’s a matter of just getting them from here to there.

People can and do recover all the time. Your son is no exception. If he wants change bad enough he will make it happen.

Best regards,
~ Chaplain Joe
Boulder County Jail

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Substance abuse services valued low in public survey

May 30, 2009 in In the News by jherzanek | No comments

Issue Date: Online Exclusive, Posted On: 5/27/2009
Online Exclusive

Substance abuse services valued low in public survey
Services ranked tied for bottom among respondents’ priorities
by Gary A. Enos, Editor/Addiction Professional

Addiction field professionals and advocates who accuse policy-makers of undervaluing substance use treatment services need to consider that these policy actions might also be reflecting broader public sentiment.

A study released this month by Spectrum, a Washington, D.C.-based health and science communications company, placed substance abuse services consistently at or near the bottom of comparative ratings offered by more than 2,000 individuals questioned by a research firm.

In perhaps the most jarring finding for the field, substance abuse services and mental retardation services ranked tied for dead last among 27 health services when the consumers were asked to rate the overall importance of the services. Respondents rated physician services, medical services at a hospital and emergency care services as the most important services. Mental health services ranked 23rd out of the 27 services evaluated for their importance.

The group’s responses also placed substance abuse services 22nd in regard to the question of whether the individuals ever had used the various services compared in the study. The three services that were rated most important were also the fourth, fifth and sixth highest on the list of ever-used services.

These findings likely could help shape a number of talking points for addiction field advocates—an effort that might be needed given that the results are being interpreted as something of a priority list for consumers as health care reform discussions intensify.

“Health reformers cannot afford to overlook how everyday constituents, when faced with difficult tradeoffs, place a relative value on health services and products as they would spend their own money,” says John J. Seng, Spectrum’s president and CEO.

When asked for an overall rating of the various health services, the survey respondents did place substance abuse services somewhat higher; their position in a tie for 17th placed them ahead of home health services, mental health services and care for the elderly, among other services.

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about individual counseling with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

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Addiction: it’s a family affair.

April 10, 2009 in Interviews, Video Interviews, Videos, Why Don't they Just Quit by jherzanek | 1 comment

Joe Herzanek interviews Larry Weckbaugh / BelayCounseling about the importance of family participation when it comes to successful recovery.

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* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about individual counseling with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

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