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The Missing Link in Addiction Recovery. What’s Missing?
The Missing Link in Addiction Recovery. What’s Missing?

~by Joe Herzanek

As I look back over three decades of working with chemically dependent men, women, adolescents and their families I ask myself what’s changed?

I try to be optimistic and honest at the same time but I have to say not much. This applies to both the Christian community and the general population. The problem of chemical dependency continues to get worse over time, treatment is only so effective, new ideas and research continue and these things are just as perplexing now as they were in ’77 when I quit. Addiction is called a disease and yet it is one of the few diseases that people can choose to put in remission and leave there if they want to (badly enough).

One of the biggest reasons I continue to work with offenders and their families is that a higher percentage of those incarcerated for criminal behavior know they need a miracle to change. Miracles are a God Thing.

The person with the addiction/substance abuse problem touches so many lives and often remains stubborn and in denial (that he or she even has a problem). Interventions, education, treatment programs, counseling for the addict and the family all play a powerful role in the change process. Just the same, we—as a society are still mired in a dilemma that won’t go away.

If I were asked what is the missing link? What could improve the miserable statistics on treatment and relapse, what would I say? Well in my honest opinion the missing link is the spiritual component. Yes I know we are a very ‘spiritual nation’ but why is this still such a vague part of recovery? And then, “How’s that working?”

Can a recovering person just believe anything they choose concerning things of God? Do addicts and alcoholics need a miracle? I believe they do. I also believe that “the God piece” could be and should be, much more defined.

My personal choice concerning things of God led me back to where I started. In my early years the Christian faith was our family’s faith. I wandered away from that for many years. What I found later (after 16 years of life on alcohol and drugs) was that I had a skewed belief system. I had blamed God for all the bad and took personal credit for all the “good.”

(A funny line heard at a 12-Step meeting: “The difference between me and God is that God doesn’t want to be me”).

Today my higher power has a name. It’s not doorknob; it’s Jesus. I try to follow both His teachings and the 12-Step philosophy at the same time. I have found this to be a winning combination, not just for me—but over the past several years I’ve seen the same thing work in a powerful way for a significant number of my fellow recovering friends, their families and clients I have worked with.

I know I’m losing some readers at this point. That’s okay and I understand. Not everyone will seek this same path. At the same time I would be dishonest if I didn’t share my own personal experience strength and hope. I believe it is God’s will that people recover, resist temptation, remain drug free, that families heal and strife ends. Lasting change is possible for anyone.

RELATED:
>12-Step Recovery and “Things of God.” A Perfect Match.
~by Joe Herzanek

RESOURCES:
Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

Why Don't They Just Quit? by Joe Herzanek
Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.

> Paperback

> Audio Book CD, MP3 (NEW!)

> Kindle

> Audible Audio Download  (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE)

ASK JOE:
> Do you have to stop seeing all your old friends in order to recover?

> Is a relapse—failure?

>Should my husband “back off?”

> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?

>Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”

>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?


SELF TESTS:

> Self-Tests: Codependence

> Self-Tests: Alcohol and Drug Addiction

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From “The Missing Link in Addiction Recovery. What’s Missing?” to Changing Lives Foundation Blog Home

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Addiction Recovery Missing link Addiction Recovery Missing link

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May 4, 2012 by jherzanek | 5 comments

JoeHerzanek
Not long ago we posted this question on an Al-Anon blog site.
We’re re-posting it here along with some of the responses we received and our response.
Feel free to express your own 2$ worth!

Gambling vs. Drug Addiction?
This topic/comment/question was posed to me by someone who is in the midst of experiencing firsthand, the devastation caused by Meth–on a mother, her child and the surrounding family. I asked her if we could post this topic to see what others have to say.

Thoughts please. . . What is your opinion?

I work at a Casino, in the Spa, doing massage therapy. We had a mandatory meeting about “responsible gambling” and how we are supposed to handle the topic with our clients. The speaker posed this question–True or false, it is easier to spot a drug addict/alcoholic addiction then a person with a gambling addiction.

Answer? she said “true.” I said “not true.” She asked me why. I said, “because addiction, any addiction follows the same path, runs the same course, AA, NA, GA, SA, EA,–they all have the same program for the simple reason” the signs are the same. You see the signs, you know what you are looking at–addiction.

Was my answer wrong? She said I was wrong, and she also said a gambling addiction is financially more devastating, because it is all about money. Well, depends on what you see as financially devastating–the loss of money, or the loss of your life little by little. . . ?

Reply by Selena:
“I know first-hand that addiction is addiction. It is deadly however you look at it. Some forms may be financially more deadly, while others may mean that you give away your *self*. I sure did. Now that I am aware of what addiction looks like, I can spot it wherever I go, not because I’m some great detective, but because that was my life once.

And I’m talking from my own experience with sugar addiction and co-dependence here. Whenever I’d get one part of my addiction in check, it would pop up in another area of my life until I discovered recovery.

Great topic!”

Reply by Jen:
“I have to agree. Addiction is addiction. It doesn’t matter what the drug. Be it money, meth, alcohol, food, or entanglement in the lives of others. It is all equally devastating, though that devastation can come in many forms.”

Reply by Sharon H:
Hi Judy, the answer to this question lies in understanding what “addiction” is.

“Addiction is a spiritual problem – and specifically, it is a WORSHIP DISORDER. And this disorder manifests itself through various behavior patterns, viz (Rom 7:15) “I do not understand what I do; for I don’t do what I would like to do, but instead I do what I hate.”

This disorder ( addiction) occurs when people displace the Living God from the center of their inward being and outward life. So that there exists a gaping void in their life that needs to be filled. And addictions are the means of filling the void.

Based on this definition, anything that becomes more important to us than God, and anything that controls our life other than the Living God, is classed as an addiction – and is a form of “idolatry”. Everything, other than the Living God, must be had/done in moderation and small doses.

We must therefore always be looking at our own lives to ensure that we are not being controlled by a substance (cigarettes, food, caffeine,sugar,etc ), another person ( husband, boss,children, friends, parents, in-laws, pets ), or activities (cell phone, Internet, gym, gambling, gossiping, career, sex, TV, sleep,shopping, money,dieting,etc)”

Reply by Joe Herzanek:
Hi Sharon,
Thanks for commenting. I agree with much of what you have said about the spiritual part of addiction, especially the verse from Romans. At the same time I feel there are several more components to alcohol and drug addiction. I can’t lump these in with many of the other things on your list. Cigarettes, caffeine, in-laws, pets, and going to the gym are in a different league than methamphetamine, alcohol and opiate pain meds etc.

These have a clinically proven effect on the brain and central nervous system. They cause brain damage. Once the brain and central nervous system have been conditioned or “trained” to expect these substances they will revolt when they no longer get them.

Many people begin using these as an experiment and to “have fun.” The biological dependency develops slowly and insidiously over time. No one sets out to become an addict. Some begin using as a coping skill to deal with a current, past or ongoing traumatic event.

Complete abstinence, quitting, becomes complicated.

Society has begun to call many things “addictions” that I would not. Some of these are just compulsive behaviors that are much less difficult to take care of.

The journey becomes a process that has parts to it. The spiritual part is a big one but it’s not the only one. As a follower of Christ myself I have seen some of my brothers and sisters in the Lord try to just label this as another sin and people just need to stop sinning. I wish it were that simple.

Grace and peace, Joe

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about phone counseling for family members with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

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Gambling, Drug Addiction, Gambling vs. Drug, Gambling vs. Drug Addiction

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12 Step Prayers

12 Step Prayers

Thanks to our friend Holly Jo for passing this on to us. These little prayers are great for anyone in AA, Alanon, Alateen or anyone who wants to have a greater understanding of the 12 Step Program, in order to grow closer to their friend or loved one who is in recovery. Enjoy.

~First Step Prayer~
Dear Lord,
I admit that I am powerless over my addiction.
I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it.
Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness.
Remove from me all denial of my addiction.

~Second Step Prayer~

Heavenly Father,
I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity.
I humbly ask that you remove all twisted thought and
addictive behavior from me this day.
Heal my spirit and restore in me a clear mind.


~Third Step Prayer~
(Page 63 – A. A. Big Book)
God,
I offer myself to Thee
To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do
Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear
witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and
Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always!

~Fourth Step Prayer~

Dear God,
It is I who have made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.
My mistakes are mine, and I will begin a
searching and fearless moral inventory.
I will write down my wrongs,
but I will also include that which is good.
I pray for the strength to complete the task.

~Fifth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
My inventory has shown me who I am,
yet I ask for Your help in admitting my wrongs
to another person and to You. Assure me, and be with me, in this Step,
for without this Step I cannot progress in my recovery.
With Your help, I can do this, and I do it.

~Sixth Step Prayer~
Dear God,
I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects of character
which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue
being honest with myself and guide me toward spiritual and mental
health.

~Seventh Step Prayer~
(Page 76 – A. A. Big Book)
My Creator,
I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do your bidding. Amen

~Eighth Step Prayer~

Higher Power,
I ask Your help in making my list of all those I have harmed.
I will take responsibility for my mistakes, and be forgiving to others as
You are forgiving to me. Grant me the willingness to begin my
restitution.
This I pray.

~Ninth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
I pray for the right attitude to make my amends,
being ever mindful not to harm others in the process.
I ask for Your guidance in making indirect amends.
Most important, I will continue to make amends by
staying abstinent, helping others, and growing in spiritual progress.

~Tenth Step Prayer~
I pray I may continue:
To grow in understanding and effectiveness;
To take daily spot check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and
behaviors;
To keep my willfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love and tolerance of others as my code;
And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, my Higher
Power.

~Eleventh Step Prayer~
Higher Power, As I understand You, I pray to keep my connection with
You open and clear from the confusion of daily life.
Through my prayers and meditation I ask especially for
freedom from self-will, rationalization, and wishful thinking.
I pray for the guidance of correct thought and positive action.
Your will Higher Power, not mine, be done.

~Twelfth Step Prayer~

Dear God,
My spiritual awakening continues to unfold.
The help I have received I shall pass on and give to others,
both in and out of the Fellowship. For this opportunity I am grateful.
I pray most humbly to continue walking day by day on
the road of spiritual progress.
I pray for the inner strength and wisdom to practice the principles of
this way of life in all I do and say.

12 Step Prayers
Source Unknown

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RELATED:

Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations

The AA Promises

A recovering Addict’s taste of tough love! (for the loved ones of the addict)

NEED HELP NOW? (do you need help with tough love?)
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling and Intervention
for Families Dealing with Drug or Alcohol Abuse

PURCHASE:
To purchase the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit?
What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”

Return from Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations to Blog Home

12 Step Prayers AA 12 Step Prayers


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The Journey of Recovery

Joe Herzanek interviews Mike Richards Jr. on this edition of Recovery Television

 

“The Journey of Recovery”


Mike Richards Jr./a2r (Addiction 2 Recovery)
Host: Joe Herzanek

 

The Journey of Recovery
Joe Herzanek interviews Mike Richards from addiction2recovery.

This show answers some of the tough questions
concerning addiction and the Christian community.

• How difficult is it to make these big changes?
• Can the Bible and step programs work together?
• Is there a conflict between these two subjects?
• Is addiction a disease or a “moral failing”?

These are just a few of the things that are discussed.
Some of the answers may surprise you.

(Playing time: 28:30 Minutes)

Changing Lives Foundation Logoto order your copy of this DVD, please donate (below) to our
Book Scholarship Fund:

For as little as $10 you can make a difference
for someone without the means to pay.

(Choose from 10 different DVD topics)

DVD Choice:
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READ MORE ABOUT EACH OF THE 10 DVD CHOICES:

(click each title for more detailed info on each DVD)

1) God and the Alcoholic Experience, with author James B. Nelson

2) The Addicted Brain, with Michael Connelly/Odyssey Training

3) Meth, The Devil’s Drug, with Tonya Wheeler and Dr. Nicolas Taylor

4) What is Addiction? with Michael Connelly/Odyssey Training

5) Women in Recovery, with Rebecca J. Flood and Helena Routhe

6) The Journey of Recovery, with Mike Richards/addiction2recovery

7) Teens Under the Influence, with Don Williams/Clearbrook Lodge

8) The Haven, Moms and Meth: Breaking the Cycle,
with Julie Krow/The Haven

9) Substance Use and The Workplace,
with Jennifer Place and Sean Stevens/Peer Assistance

10) Pornography, The Hidden Epidemic,
with Mike Richards/addiction2recovery

CONTACT US


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Journey of Recovery step programs addiction Christian moral failing addiction

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A great post by our friend and Addiction Chaplain Ned Wicker:

Dry Drunk: Dry But Still Drunk.

My friend Joe Herzanek wrote a terrific book, “Why Don’t They Just Quit” which is a fitting title because that’s the question people always ask. If somebody drinks, why don’t they just quit? The short answer is simply that’s it’s not that easy. Just because they do quit doesn’t mean they’re not a drunk.

Before you get all riled up and offended understand one important point—just because somebody isn’t using doesn’t mean they are not an addict. People who abstain from using alcohol for long periods of time, people who have been diagnosed as being alcoholics, may be dry, but they are still alcoholics (dry drunk). All of the pieces are in place for their lives to go out of control; it’s just that the triggering element, alcohol, is missing. That is why Alcoholics Anonymous strongly advocates for abstinence. Even people who have been in recovery for years understand that all it takes is alcohol for them to be right back on a destructive path.

Over the years I have known many people who have gone through the criminal justice system and served time for DUI. The police arrest them, the judge convicts them and they spend time behind bars. However, while in jail they do not receive treatment. Yes, they are dry, but that only lasts while they are physically prevented from getting a drink. They are still addicts, but they just aren’t using the drug alcohol at the time. Jason comes to mind. He was serving after being convicted yet again of DUI, but like his first time, he was receiving no treatment. There was a program, but a waiting list to get into it was a mile long. Jason got an early release and never did get into treatment. He was a dry drunk. The first opportunity that came along was all he needed to get a snoot full.

Recovery programs are not just limited to going to meetings and not drinking. They are about the rebuilding of one’s life and learning new skills and habits. People who have honestly and openly journeyed through the 12 Step process understand that recovery is about a return to wholeness. People are transformed from drunks, to dry drunks, to recovering drunks. I do not use the term drunks in the pejorative, but instead use it intentionally to illustrate an important point. No matter the addiction, no matter the human condition, just because one is not directly engaged in an activity does not exempt them from potential danger. What is needed to prevent relapse is a change of lifestyle and a commitment to healthy activity.

It wasn’t long after Jason was released that he was in trouble with the law for another DUI. This time the judge wasn’t at all understanding and the sentence was for four years or so. He was back on the waiting list for treatment, but with more time, he finally got in. He was given the opportunity to go from dry drunk to “recovering.” As he learned new ways of dealing with his life, with his cravings and with his out of control lifestyle, he began to realize that, like millions of others, he was in need of help and could get into recovery with the right kind of support and guidance.

It was a major turning point for him. He was not longer the “victim” of the criminal justice system, but a grateful recipient of treatment for his illness. Unlike others who were going through a prison 12 Step program to earn brownie points with the parole board, Jason was earnestly and actively working the program for its long-term benefits. He wasn’t merely going through the motions. When he was released, he continued his recovery program on the outside, this time with a new sense of purpose and direction. He was no longer a dry drunk.

Abstinence is good, but abstinence along does not get the alcoholic out of the woods. You can lock them up and deny them alcohol, but they are still drunks. Treatment and the right kind of support program is what makes the difference. Jason knows that difference.

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Have you “tried everything?” To learn about family phone counseling with Author/Addiction Professional, Chaplain Joe Herzanek  click here.

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Dry Drunk Dry Drunk Dry Drunk

November 24, 2009 by jherzanek | No comments