I’ve read your book and watched the DVD – both very good and informative. Thank you. I haven’t seen many stories about parents with an alcohlic spouse.
I have been divorced from my husband for 1 year. We have a 14 yr old son and 10 year old daughter. In short, my ex came to pick our son up from my house and I had suspicions he had been drinking. So, I asked him to blow into a breathalizer(he has been claiming he hasn’t been drinking for months- even though the children have told me they have seen beers around the house). He initially agreed and then refused. I told him if he wouldn’t do it then I couldn’t let him take our son in the car. He left without a fight. Although he called me later and was very angry that I questioned his sobriety.
My question is – Will alcoholics that are not active in an AA program ordon’t have a sponsor lie about their drinking? I even asked him that night if he’d been drinking at all that day and he denied it. Do they really believe that they don’t drink even if they have? Is he not only lying to himself but to me, as well?

Thank you.

Please consider getting a copy. I would love to hear back from you after you have finished reading it. This problem can be worked through but the work part is based on someone’s willingness to change.

Al-anon would be a free resource for you and most towns have at least a few groups if not several. Becoming informed on what works best is Step 1.

Best regards, Joe

Your post has several questions in it and none of them have an easy answer.

If I were you I would start to read all you can on alcohol and drug addiction. The situation you are in is very perplexing.

My advice is to get out, get involved with Al-anon, and tell your boyfriend that you will not see him again until he has at least thirty days of clean time. If he values your relationship he will do it. If he doesn’t then maybe it’s time to move on.

Life’s too short to waste much more time on this guy and live under these difficult circumstances )-;

Hang in there, Joe