The huge difference though is in the area of psychoactive drugs that produce any kind of euphoric feelings. Many of these drugs, again as we all know, are very powerful and very addictive—often costing people their lives (a pretty high price (no pun intended) to pay for a brief period of “feel good”).

So once the person realizes they have extreme difficulty trying to use in ‘moderation’—then why take the chance? Much is at stake. And drug use is not necessary to enjoy life.

You comment: “One has to undergo some type of mental change in order to “get out from under” the control of the substance which we have given control to.”

I don’t think that a person ‘gives their control away’ I believe it is taken from them by their addiction and will never be returned. Ever.

I do believe that a psychic change, epiphany, spiritual experience of some kind needs to take place in the persons brain. This psychic change, in my way of thinking, is a complete and total acceptance that the person no longer has control over their substance use AND that they never will regain the ability to use in moderation.

Best,
~Joe

I have been clean for a little over 3 years now and I struggle with the aspect that “we as addicts, have no control over anything.” It appears, if you study a 12 step program, that it tells you you have no control, tears you down to humble you ( just like the military), and then if you successfully agree that you have had no control over many things in your life, by talking about the problem and hearing how others have learned to deal with things, that you begin to gain some control over some of the things in life.

I believe we have a problem in giving control over to other things and people. That we have to acknowledge that and “relearn” how to take that control back. We are taught from an early age that we have no control, that our parents, the government, our boss, and even our higher power, all have control over us. is it any wonder that many of us never learn to cross over to learn how to control things? Some people successfully learn to take back control, and some can and do regain that skill of “moderation” that many do not.

Does this necessarily mean that we can never partake of the object of our addiction again? With some of them, if we determine that they are really not useful to us, and that there is no justifiable good to come out of partaking of it, then it is probably a good thing not to partake so as not to “risk” giving over our control to that thing again. However, what about food, we have to eat, and a food addict has to learn how to eat in moderation, not stop eating all together, so as I said. This is the tricky part. I am not sure about whether someone who has an addiction to drugs or alcohol, can ever “use in moderation” or “use successfully” again except that I have to separate the meaning of “use”. To use something is to partake for personal satisfaction, the high of it if you will. But if one learns how to partake of, in moderation, only in healthy moderation then one might be able to consider this successful. I think the problem is a character defect that we have that gives up our control, we didn’t lose it we gave it away. We have to take it back. But we have to learn to control only ourselves and not everything else.

Does that make sense to anyone else?

So I believe that if I were to tell someone they are cured, they may think they no longer have a problem. That opens the door to another attempt at social use—which NEVER turns out well.”

I disagree with these statements and here is why. I have my personal example of my father who was an alcoholic for 15 years. Then one day when my mother could not take it anymore, he went in for treatment and stopped drinking for good. He did not touch alcohol for over 10 years. Then around 2001, I was visiting my family, and we had a family gathering with many dishes and alcoholic beverages. I was surprised to see that my dad was pouring alcohol for everyone including himself. It was just a couple of sips of champagne, but still. Then I saw it on many other occasions. Since then I’ve witnessed my dad having a few sips of wine or champagne when I would visit them. My mom and he told me that he does that every time they have some major celebration, like a birthday or some holiday. He sips 1-2 times and does not take it any further. He never craves or asks for it. He stops at just a few sips/half a glass at most. He told me he does not have any cravings for it or any thoughts of drinking just to drink. When there is a celebration, he does it socially with the family, not because he likes the taste or has cravings, just as a solidarity gesture. Other than that, he is totally fine. It is 2011 now and for 10 years this is how it’s been.