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Jenny's Pearl Necklace

The story of “Jenny’s Pearl Necklace” touches everyone in a different way—as we are all at different stages of our journey . . . and trusting God.

Jenny’s Pearl Necklace
The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

“Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!” Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl’s upturned face. “A dollar ninety-five. That’s almost $2. If you really want them, I’ll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them yourself.”

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her piggy bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores. She went to the neighbor, Mrs. McJames, and asked if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma gave her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel grown up. She wore them everywhere—Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when
he finished the story, he asked Jenny, “Do you love me?” “Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you.”

“Then may I have your pearls?”

“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess—the white horse from my collection. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me.
She’s my favorite.”

“That’s okay, honey. Daddy loves you. Good night.” And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after story time, Jenny’s daddy asked again, “Do you love me?”

“Daddy, you know I love you.”

“Then will you give me your pearls?”

“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday.

“That’s okay, Honey. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you.” And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

Several days later, when Jenny’s father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling. “Here, Daddy,” she said, and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father’s hand.
With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box.

Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls. He had had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing.

So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to be willing to give up things in our lives so he can give us beautiful treasure. God only wants you to have the best.

—Author Unknown, Source Unknown

 

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Trusting God, Pearl Necklace, Trusting God, Pearl Necklace, Trusting God

Why Don't They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery." by Joe HerzanekThis story is excerpted from Part 5 of “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”

RELATED:
Ask Joe: Do you have to stop seeing all your old friends in order to recover?
Relapse. It Happens.
~by Joe Herzanek

NEED HELP NOW?
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse
Recovery Resources for Friends, Families and Employers

MORE ASK JOE:
> Is a relapse—failure?

> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?

>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?

 

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From “Trusting God: Jenny’s Pearl Necklace” to Changing Lives Foundation Blog Home

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Trusting God, Pearl Necklace, Trusting God, Pearl Necklace, Trusting God

 

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12 Step Prayers

12 Step Prayers

Thanks to our friend Holly Jo for passing this on to us. These little prayers are great for anyone in AA, Alanon, Alateen or anyone who wants to have a greater understanding of the 12 Step Program, in order to grow closer to their friend or loved one who is in recovery. Enjoy.

~First Step Prayer~
Dear Lord,
I admit that I am powerless over my addiction.
I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it.
Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness.
Remove from me all denial of my addiction.

~Second Step Prayer~

Heavenly Father,
I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity.
I humbly ask that you remove all twisted thought and
addictive behavior from me this day.
Heal my spirit and restore in me a clear mind.


~Third Step Prayer~
(Page 63 – A. A. Big Book)
God,
I offer myself to Thee
To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do
Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear
witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and
Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always!

~Fourth Step Prayer~

Dear God,
It is I who have made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.
My mistakes are mine, and I will begin a
searching and fearless moral inventory.
I will write down my wrongs,
but I will also include that which is good.
I pray for the strength to complete the task.

~Fifth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
My inventory has shown me who I am,
yet I ask for Your help in admitting my wrongs
to another person and to You. Assure me, and be with me, in this Step,
for without this Step I cannot progress in my recovery.
With Your help, I can do this, and I do it.

~Sixth Step Prayer~
Dear God,
I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects of character
which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue
being honest with myself and guide me toward spiritual and mental
health.

~Seventh Step Prayer~
(Page 76 – A. A. Big Book)
My Creator,
I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do your bidding. Amen

~Eighth Step Prayer~

Higher Power,
I ask Your help in making my list of all those I have harmed.
I will take responsibility for my mistakes, and be forgiving to others as
You are forgiving to me. Grant me the willingness to begin my
restitution.
This I pray.

~Ninth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
I pray for the right attitude to make my amends,
being ever mindful not to harm others in the process.
I ask for Your guidance in making indirect amends.
Most important, I will continue to make amends by
staying abstinent, helping others, and growing in spiritual progress.

~Tenth Step Prayer~
I pray I may continue:
To grow in understanding and effectiveness;
To take daily spot check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and
behaviors;
To keep my willfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love and tolerance of others as my code;
And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, my Higher
Power.

~Eleventh Step Prayer~
Higher Power, As I understand You, I pray to keep my connection with
You open and clear from the confusion of daily life.
Through my prayers and meditation I ask especially for
freedom from self-will, rationalization, and wishful thinking.
I pray for the guidance of correct thought and positive action.
Your will Higher Power, not mine, be done.

~Twelfth Step Prayer~

Dear God,
My spiritual awakening continues to unfold.
The help I have received I shall pass on and give to others,
both in and out of the Fellowship. For this opportunity I am grateful.
I pray most humbly to continue walking day by day on
the road of spiritual progress.
I pray for the inner strength and wisdom to practice the principles of
this way of life in all I do and say.

12 Step Prayers
Source Unknown

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RELATED:

Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations

The AA Promises

A recovering Addict’s taste of tough love! (for the loved ones of the addict)

NEED HELP NOW? (do you need help with tough love?)
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling and Intervention
for Families Dealing with Drug or Alcohol Abuse

PURCHASE:
To purchase the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit?
What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”

Return from Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations to Blog Home

12 Step Prayers AA 12 Step Prayers

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The Flame, First Pres Boulder, Dec. 2011

Changing Lives Foundation is supported by generous individual donors and several churches. As a way to “give back” to members of supporting churches, we offer No-Fee Phone Counseling for friends and family of someone struggling with drug or alcohol abuse.
We were recently featured in the December issue of First Pres. Boulder’s newsletter, The Flame (one of our supporting churches).
Click here for a PDF file of the December issue of The Flame

 

 

 

 

Joe and Judy Herzanek

Joe and Judy Herzanek

New Family Resource Available at First Pres – Counseling for Families of Substance Abusers

~By Russ Teets

Editor’s Note:
Joe Herzanek is the president and founder of Changing Lives Foundation. As a certified addiction professional in Colorado he spent over seventeen years working in the criminal justice system as the Chaplain at the Boulder County Jail. His credentials include being a Colorado State Certified Addiction Counselor and a Board Certified Biblical Counselor.  Joe is the author of the book “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery” which won the Best Self-Help Book award in 2008. Joe’s wife Judy is the Director of Creative Development and Marketing for Changing Lives.

In 2010, according to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), an estimated 22.1 million persons (8.7 percent of the population aged 12 or older) in the U.S. were classified with substance dependence or abuse in the past year.  15.0 million had dependence or abuse of alcohol, 4.2 million of illicit drugs and 2.9 of both.  For drugs, marijuana is the number one drug of abuse and prescription painkillers are number two.

For each substance abuser there are an estimated 10 other people who are directly affected. Family members and friends are the ones who suffer the most as they watch their loved one continue down the road of self-destruction. They desperately want to help the abuser but their actions often make the situation worse.

Joe and Judy Herzanek founded Changing Lives to help families and friends of substance abusers.  First Pres has supported Joe’s work for over seventeen years, beginning with the Boulder County Jail Chaplaincy and now in his work with families struggling with alcohol and drug abuse.

Joe says: “We are passionate about what we do and know that we are making a difference in people’s lives—both in the now and in eternity. The families we work with are in crisis. They feel extremely hopeless and lost not knowing what to do. With all of our experience, both in our lives and the lives of our family members, we offer real solutions, encouragement and hope—and hope, when you are desperate, is a priceless commodity.

“Substance abuse is growing exponentially and is impacting all people groups—even in the Christian community. I’m convinced that this is also an important and often overlooked issue for many of our families at First Pres. Most Christian families feel a sense of shame and are reluctant to seek help or talk about it. They continue to live with the problem or try to ignore it—often till a crisis develops, or when it is too late.”

“Judy and I strongly feel that we/Changing Lives—a local, church-sponsored resource, will best serve the First Pres congregation by offering no-fee phone counseling to members. Due to the poor economy, more families are stretched to the breaking point financially. This is a way that we will partner even more with First Pres to help serve these members in their time of need.

“Counseling over the phone has many advantages:  it is an anonymous, no risk and easy way for church members to get clear guidance for their family.  We can envision this turning into a possible family group meeting at First Pres at some point down the road.

 Here is what some of Joe’s clients say:

We appreciate the convenience of being able to call. I don’t know if my husband would have participated otherwise. I also appreciated very much that you talked to us about faith. Just prior to the events over the last few weeks I received your email regarding this service. It kept coming to my mind. I feel that it was God’s direction to call you.  Thanks for making yourself available. ~Patty B., Rutland, VT

Joe’s advice was very helpful & got me thinking realistically about the situation. I really feel as though Joe cares about the people he is trying to help. Some of the other people I talked to felt more like salesmen, trying to sell me on their program. ~Gina N., Foristell, MO

We felt so alone for such a long time, and when you reached out that gave us peace and strength that we can all get through this. Thank you so very much, God Bless you and your family. ~Trish & John, Colorado Springs, CO

 

Do you have a family member caught up in this cycle?  Please take advantage of this great resource for families. Call Joe Herzanek at 303.775.6493 to schedule a time or get more details or contact him at jherzanek@gmail.com.

To view our First Pres. local missions website page

More info on Changing Lives Phone Counseling

 

 

 

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The Journey of Recovery

Joe Herzanek interviews Mike Richards Jr. on this edition of Recovery Television

 

“The Journey of Recovery”


Mike Richards Jr./a2r (Addiction 2 Recovery)
Host: Joe Herzanek

 

The Journey of Recovery
Joe Herzanek interviews Mike Richards from addiction2recovery.

This show answers some of the tough questions
concerning addiction and the Christian community.

• How difficult is it to make these big changes?
• Can the Bible and step programs work together?
• Is there a conflict between these two subjects?
• Is addiction a disease or a “moral failing”?

These are just a few of the things that are discussed.
Some of the answers may surprise you.

(Playing time: 28:30 Minutes)

Changing Lives Foundation Logoto order your copy of this DVD, please donate (below) to our
Phone Counseling Scholarship Fund:

For as little as $10 you can make a difference
for someone without the means to pay.

(Choose from 10 different DVD topics)

DVD Choice:
Gift Amount:


Thanks!

READ MORE ABOUT EACH OF THE 10 DVD CHOICES:

(click each title for more detailed info on each DVD)

1) God and the Alcoholic Experience, with author James B. Nelson

2) The Addicted Brain, with Michael Connelly/Odyssey Training

3) Meth, The Devil’s Drug, with Tonya Wheeler and Dr. Nicolas Taylor

4) What is Addiction? with Michael Connelly/Odyssey Training

5) Women in Recovery, with Rebecca J. Flood and Helena Routhe

6) The Journey of Recovery, with Mike Richards/addiction2recovery

7) Teens Under the Influence, with Don Williams/Clearbrook Lodge

8) The Haven, Moms and Meth: Breaking the Cycle,
with Julie Krow/The Haven

9) Substance Use and The Workplace,
with Jennifer Place and Sean Stevens/Peer Assistance

10) Pornography, The Hidden Epidemic,
with Mike Richards/addiction2recovery

CONTACT US


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Journey of Recovery step programs addiction Christian moral failing addiction

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Joe Herzanek interviews James B. Nelson, Author: Thirst, on Recovery Television

“God and the Alcoholic Experience”

with author, James B. Nelson
Host: Joe Herzanek

Joe’s interview with author James Nelson, God and the Alcoholic Experience,
is a powerful testimony to the importance of God
in the life of a recovering person.

Jim’s inspiring book “Thirst: God and the Alcoholic Experience”
is the focus of their discussion.

James Nelson, a retired seminary professor and also a recovering person,
gives a deep, yet practical insight into the spiritual component of recovery.

Challenging questions are answered
and his responses give clarity to the “disease vs. sin” issue
(is addiction a disease or a moral failing)?

What role does God play in the life of an alcoholic?

(Playing time: 40 Minutes)

Changing Lives Foundation Logoto order your copy of this DVD, please donate (below) to our
Phone Counseling Scholarship Fund:

For as little as $10 you can make a difference
for someone without the means to pay.
(Choose from 10 different DVD topics)


DVD Choice:
Gift Amount:


Thanks!

READ MORE ABOUT EACH OF THE 10 DVD CHOICES:

(click each title for more detailed info on each DVD)

1) God and the Alcoholic Experience, with author James B. Nelson

2) The Addicted Brain, with Michael Connelly/Odyssey Training

3) Meth, The Devil’s Drug, with Tonya Wheeler and Dr. Nicolas Taylor

4) What is Addiction? with Michael Connelly/Odyssey Training

5) Women in Recovery, with Rebecca J. Flood and Helena Routhe

6) The Journey of Recovery, with Mike Richards/addiction2recovery

7) Teens Under the Influence, with Don Williams/Clearbrook Lodge

8) The Haven, Moms and Meth: Breaking the Cycle,
with Julie Krow/The Haven

9) Substance Use and The Workplace,
with Jennifer Place and Sean Stevens/Peer Assistance

10) Pornography, The Hidden Epidemic,
with Mike Richards/addiction2recovery

CONTACT US

DVD Choice:
Gift Amount:

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God and the Alcoholic Alcoholic Experience Recovery Television


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Angel: Pulled from the Wreckage

“You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie”

~ Angel (Sarah McLachlan)


Changing Lives friend and loving grandmother “Gramma Carole” sent us this picture as she recently walked the hospital corridor with her beloved grandson as he struggles with the tremendous grip of addiction.
She discovered that this photo seems to show the glow of a guardian angel on his shoulder.
The words of this song now take on a whole new meaning. 

“Angel”

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

To view music video of Sarah McLachlan performing “Angel”

Please leave a message of encouragement (below) for Gramma Carole and her grandson–who is literally “fighting for his life.” Many thanks.

NEED HELP NOW?
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

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Pulled from the wreckage Pulled from the wreckage

12-Step Recovery and "Things of God"

12-Step Recovery and “Things of God.” A Perfect Match.
~ by Joe Herzanek

We are re-posting this article on 12-Step Recovery Groups (AA, Al-Anon, Nar-Anon) in response to a recent local newspaper article. Would love your comments at the end of the post if you like. Thanks!

I’m often asked, especially by many in the Christian Community, if the AA 12-step program conflicts with Biblical Christianity. Some feel that the two just don’t go together. Personally, after three decades of studying and being part of both groups, I have to disagree.

Some in the faith community have come up with alternative support groups to the AA 12-steps (12-Step Recovery). These well-meaning Christians, in my opinion are attempting to “reinvent the wheel.” The real rub seems to come from the term “Higher Power.” There are people who feel that if they don’t say “Jesus Christ—the Son of God” during these meetings, that they are somehow denying their faith. This is just not true.

After counseling with thousands of addicts (and their families) over the past three decades, I’ve discovered two common challenges that occur, when discussions by alcohol and drug dependent people turn spiritual, or to “things of God.”

The first challenge deals with a person’s “history.” An extremely high percentage of recovering people have a negative, or skewed background concerning a belief in God and 12-Step Recovery. Most of these people end up thinking that if there is a God, he surely doesn’t care much about me. Many churches (not all) will try to use guilt to convince a person that they need God. Well-meaning parents and some family members have also used this tactic. In addition to this, negative news stories about men and women of faith, caught living a double life have become more and more common—making the “God thing” as it relates to 12-Step Recovery, even more complex. There’s nothing like a high-profile pastor—caught living a “secret double life”—a hypocrite, to add fuel to the fire (no pun intended).

I would venture to say that for most of us, coming to a clear understanding and commitment to our faith was a process. I know it was for me. It was not until I did my own personal searching and seeking, that I was able to make an “informed decision.” Well-thought, and informed commitments seem to last much longer than those made rashly, during an emotional, spur-of-the-moment event.

As I search the scriptures about Jesus, I see a pattern in His approach. Jesus, quite often attended to a person’s physical needs before talking about spiritual matters. Feeding the hungry, healing the blind, deaf or crippled, came first. Once a person’s physical needs were addressed, He opened the door for deeper discussions. You might say He had earned the right to be bold about faith.

We, (myself included) in the Christian Community will sometimes approach problems in just the opposite way. I think this is a big mistake—especially when I look around at some people’s quick emotional “conversions” which are often followed by repeated relapses to an old way of living.

Are faith, prayer and a strong belief in a kind and loving, benevolent God—critical for 12-Step Recovery and real, long-lasting change? You bet. But it’s good to remember that some things take time.

It’s also good to remember that concerning a person’s addiction, God is just as concerned, if not more, about the addict’s well being as we are. None of this has caught Him by surprise.

The second challenge with 12-step recovery and faith is this; the founders, Bill W. and Dr. Bob knew that they needed to “walk a fine line” when it came to religion and/or God. I’ve read much, and done a lot of research over the years—on both of these men. It’s a fact that both of them studied and read the Bible daily. It’s also a fact that their faith had great influence on their writings.

So why, you might ask, is the 12-step literature so generic when it comes to “things of God?” It appears to me that Bill W. and Dr. Bob intimately understood the mind of the alcoholic. They knew that if they placed great emphasis on a specific belief on Jesus Christ, it would alienate a large number of those needing recovery.

I believe these men had to come to a consensus on this matter. They needed to resolve these questions: What are we truly wanting to do? . . . to accomplish?

I feel they made the perfect choice. Yes, the “God part” is critical and must be a big part of AA and 12-Step Recovery. They knew that if they stepped “over the line” and were looked on as “preachy” many would “tune out.” They decided to trust God—to bring true seekers to Him.

Bill W. and Dr. Bob decided to let AA help with the sobriety part, and to let “God be God” (He will take it from there).

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Tried everything?

Phone Counseling and Intervention Services.

Providing families in need with over 30 years of real-life,
hands-on experience and success
.Your situation may be unique, but it’s not hopeless.
We specialize in those tough, “seemingly impossible” situations.

There IS a solution. Together we can formulate a plan to restore sanity to your life—saving you and your family time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache.

Learn more about Phone Counseling and Intervention
with author/addiction counselor and interventionist Joe Herzanek.

Specialized to your unique situation.

Call: (303) 775.6493
or
Email: jherzanek@gmail.com

to learn more about this option.
(call now to chat with Joe about your many options)

Note:
At Changing Lives we know that your need for help is not run on an 8 to 5,
Monday through Friday schedule.

We are often available on weekends and even holidays.
Please don’t hesitate to call as the need arises.

Related Articles:
Alcoholism Step 12

NEED HELP NOW?
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

 

12-Step Recovery 12-Step Recovery 12-Step Recovery 12-Step Recovery

October 11, 2009 by jherzanek | 5 comments