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Low cost and No cost Alcohol Treatment Options

Low cost, No cost Alcohol and Drug Treatment Directory

Treatment, Sober Living, Halfway Homes, Family Help, Online Resources and More.
Updated 5.23.13

 
Help with drug addictions
Are you tearing your hair out trying to find reasonably-priced help for your addicted loved one? Are you also looking for help for yourself and your family as you deal with their addiction?

This Directory is a work-in-progress. We’ve started with our original Directory “Drug Addiction Help Recovery Resources for Friends, Families and Employers” and deleted any resources that are HIGH priced or cost a LOT.

 

Please help by sharing your referrals with us.
There are so many who need this information!

WE NEED YOUR HELP!—if you know of a great NO cost or low-cost resource for treatment for an addict and/or help and support for families of addicts, contact us with a link to the resource website and a short description of what this resource offers and why you would recommend it. We will research it and add it to the list.

This is our first attempt to create a group list based on recommendations from our Changing Lives Foundation Private Group members, newsletter subscribers and blog readers.

Our vision is to make this the most comprehensive list of nationwide low-cost resources available!
> Many thanks to our friends at Love First for sharing some of their favorites with us.

Keep scrolling—this is a long document . . . and it’s going to be a LOT longer!
Share a referral

 

 ~ Low Cost Resources ~

(Scroll down for NO cost resources)

TREATMENT CENTERS:

CALIFORNIA
New Found Life Family run, high quality, low cost treatment provider in Long Beach, CA

New Life Community Services New Life Community Services provides inpatient and outpatient drug & alcohol treatment, emergency shelter for families with children, and counseling services

Cornerstone of Southern California Family owned, high quality, multiple programs and transitional living

Above it All Located on the shores of Lake Arrowhead (CA), an outstanding treatment provider

New Directions for Women High quality program for women in California

Cri-Help Public funding available. Many services

Whiteside Manor Full service group of residential centers in California

House of Hope Treatment for women since 1955 in San Pedro, CA. Public funding for CA residents

COLORADO
The Haven (Women) An 89-bed Modified Therapeutic Community (MTC) located in Denver, Colorado for women, mothers and their infants. Provides intensive residential substance abuse treatment to women who are either pregnant or have an infant in their care

Harmony Foundation Residential treatment for men and women on 40 acre campus in Colorado. Very good clinical team

Valley Hope Association This organization operates 9 inpatient and numerous outpatient treatment centers in various states. Very good reputation and many years of experience

Arapahoe House (13 locations in Colorado) provides life-changing alcohol and drug rehabilitation at 13 locations in Denver. Provides substance abuse illness treatment for women and their children, teens, adults and families

CONNECTICUT
High Watch Farm
Outstanding recovery center, founded by Bill Wilson and Marty Mann. Kent, Connecticut

FLORIDA
Vince Carter Sanctuary
New, state-of-the-art center in Florida

Transitions Recovery Program Reasonably priced, in North Miami Beach Florida has the staff with the training and years of experience to create a relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere to reclaim your life from substance abuse.

LONG ISLAND
Long Island Center for Recovery
Good, basic treatment program in Hampton Bays. Payment plans available

MARYLAND
Phoenix Recovery Center
Good programs and a very reasonable price in Edgewater, Maryland

MICHIGAN
Dawn Farm: 
Residential treatment and long term recovery programs for alcoholics and addicts. A long-standing provider with a great reputation. Ann Arbor, Michigan

Harbor Hall Long term residential treatment for adult men in Petoskey, Michigan. Outstanding clinical staff and many other services. First-rate treatment at a very affordable price

MINNESOTA
The Retreat Excellent spiritual recovery center with veteran staff and outstanding results. An “AA Immersion” program in Wayzata, Minnesota

NEW YORK
Villa Veritas
Long-standing, high quality program in upstate New York with an emphasis on tradition and strong alumni involvement. Close adherence to 12 Step principles. Kerhonkson, NY

NORTH CAROLINA
HOPE VALLEY
Reasonably-priced 28 day treatment. Separate campuses for men and women. Family program strongly recommended.

OHIO
Center for Chemical Addictions Treatment Full service, high quality program in Cincinatti, OH with a very reasonable fee structure and specialty programs

SOUTH DAKOTA
Tallgrass Recovery 
Located in Sioux Falls, SD, with an emphasis on the spirituality of Alcoholics Anonymous. Sober living also available.

TENNESSEE
English Mountain Recovery: 
Very affordable, 90 day program in eastern Tennessee

TEXAS
Austin Recovery
30 and 90 day programs, very affordable and high quality. In Austin, Texas

UTAH
Women’s Retreat House
  Accommodates up to 20 women for up to four months each. Residents pay $100 per week to help cover room and board, and all other funding for the house comes from small donations and fundraisers

Valley Camp Rehab Center (for Men) Eden, UT Very affordable and highly recommended, 12-step based.

WASHINGTON
Sundown M Ranch
Tremendous value in residential treatment with traditional treatment values. Some public funding available. Adolescent and adult services, Sela, Washington

 

SOBER LIVING AND HALFWAY HOUSES:

CALIFORNIA
Legacy Sober Living
Well structured sober living in Culver City, CA.

Puente House Structured living, reasonably priced, for men and women in San Gabriel Valley, CA.

A Step in the Right Direction Women’s sober living in California

Benchmark Transitions Transitional living for young adults, with an educational focus, Redlands, CA.

COLORADO
LAM Ministries (Loved-Ones Against Meth)
Inexpensive residential treatment program. Christian/Faith based in Greeley for men

Oxford House Democratically run, self-supporting, and drug free group home. A national directory of all the houses is provided. Self Run, Self Supported, Addiction Recovery Houses

Serenity Houses Affordable, very nice 12-step-based Sober Living Homes in Colorado. The Serenity Houses provide a structured living environment for people with alcohol or drug dependency problems

FLORIDA
Sober Living Outpatient (Delray Beach, FL) Sober Living Outpatient is more than a treatment center; it is a magical place whereby clients and staff work in concert to assist the clients in their goal of living a fulfilled and peaceful life without the need for mood altering substances

New Life House (Los Angeles, CA) Sober Living for teens, young adults and adults. Each New Life House sober living is 12 Step-based and works through positive peer interaction, 24/7 support and a huge network of fellow sober men who have achieved long term sobriety.

The Sanctuary Outstanding halfway houses for men and women in Delray Beach, FL

ILLINOIS
Hazelden-Chicago
High quality halfway house in Chicago, Illinois

MINNESOTA
Fellowship Club
Hazelden’s halfway house in St. Paul, Minnesota

SOUTH DAKOTA
Tallgrass Recovery 
Located in Sioux Falls, SD, Affordable living with an emphasis on the spirituality of Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

FAMILY HELP/RESOURCES FOR CHILDREN:


Betty Ford Children’s Program (Multiple locations) Did you know that the Betty Ford Center offers treatment for the children of the patient? Learn about the Betty Ford Center children’s program

BOOKS:
Recommended Books and DVDs for families of drug and alcohol abusers and addicts


Jail and Prison Re-entry Guide (Colorado) Getting On After Getting Out: A Re-entry Guide for Colorado. This 200 page book provides extensive information about preparing for release while incarcerated and re-entering society after release

 

 ~ NO Cost Resources ~

 

FREE ADDICTION TREATMENT

Drug Treatment for Patients with No Money  (article) A guide about finding treatment, free of cost. Don’t let a lack of money stop you from getting the professional help you need. Instead, consider all your options including free drug treatment through a rehab scholarship

NATIONWIDE
The Salvation Army
Free in-residence rehabilitation programs, work therapy, counseling, Christian spiritual direction. Input zip code for nearest locations

 

COLORADO
Harvest Farm
(Men) Long-term residential program for men, offers a multitude of programs. Run by the Denver Rescue Mission in Wellington, CO (New Life Program)

Champa House  (Women) Offers a multitude of programs to single mothers with dependent children (New Life Program), Denver

The Crossing (Men) Offers a multitude of programs to men determined to break the cycles of addiction, poverty and homelessness (New Life Program), Denver

 

FLORIDA
Faith Farm Ministries
a free, minimum 9 month, faith-based, addiction recovery program with residential services for more than 400 men and women who have lost control of their lives due to alcohol and/or illegal and pharmaceutical drug addiction. Boynton Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Okeechobee

 

TEXAS
Palmer Drug Abuse Program (PDAP) San Antonio FREE recovery services for substance abuse and drug addiction. A 12 step, faith-based program that offers group meetings, individual and family counseling to families, siblings and teens, San Antonio

Palmer Drug Abuse Program (PDAP) Houston FREE recovery services for substance abuse and drug addiction. A 12 step, faith-based program that offers group meetings, individual and family counseling to families, siblings and teens, Houston

 

TWELVE-STEP:

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) A fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism (on the “Is AA for you?” page there are 12 questions to help you decide if you have a problem)

Al-Anon/Alateen Al-Anon/Alateen (which includes Alateen for younger members) offers hope and help to families and friends of alcoholics

Nar-Anon Nar-Anon family groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else’s addiction

12-Step.org. Information and tools for working the 12-step program

Read the AA Big Book online Complete text of “Alcoholics Anonymous” also known as “The Big Book” is available in English, French, and Spanish

Using Al-Anon’s Steps in Our Personal Lives This series of podcasts discusses how Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps have helped people successfully handle a variety of challenges associated with the family illness of alcoholism

AA Intergroup AA Telephone Numbers, USA

Marijuana Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength, and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem and help others to recover from marijuana addiction

FAMILY GROUPS:

NEW HAMPSHIRE
Families Sharing Without Shame
(Concord Hospital, Concord, N.H.) This is an open meeting for parents who have a child or children who have or are abusing drugs and or alcohol.

INTERVENTION:

Love First (Website) Jeff and Debra Jay have assembled a website that provides expert direction and planning for every aspect of intervention. Free videos.

 

CO-ADDICTION:

Soaring Above Co-Addiction—a book, blog and website dedicated to helping the co-addicted rise above their situation to take control of their own life. Workshops available

 

CHRISTIAN RECOVERY:


addiction2recovery reality.connection.change. Addiction recovery materials along with gripping videos of real people’s stories of change and recovery

Christians in Recovery Over 3000 Pages of help for recovery from life circumstances, self defeating behaviors and addictions. Unlimited Chat, live help, free magazine and more.

Celebrate Recovery A Christ-centered program ministering to those who struggle with hurts, hang-ups, habits or addictions.

COLORADO
Shift: A Better Way to Do Life
A safe community that focuses on working through these issues together by using the 12 steps to find a “better way to do life.”

ONLINE COMMUNITIES/SUPPORT:


Changing Lives Foundation Private Group (Facebook)
A place for families and friends of a person struggling with alcohol or drug abuse/addiction—to post, discuss and help each other. This is a closed group where anyone can join—and safely post without fear of “the world” being able to see. Click on link, ask to join and someone will sign you in

The Addict’s Mom: Sharing Without Shame
A group focusing on the mothers of addicted children. The relationship between the mother and addicted child is unique; that does not diminish the experiences of other family members. Join one of their many online communities—The Addict’s Mom, The Addict, The Addict’s Dad, The Single Addict’s Mom

FOB (Friends of Bill)
A social network specifically designed for alcoholics and addicts. Connect with new friends from all over the world who are just like you. New, easy online instant chat!

In the Rooms The premier, most comprehensive online social network for the recovery community worldwide. For the 23 hours a day you’re not at a meeting. in the Rooms has many of the most popular 12-Step fellowships as groups for you to become a member of. In here you’ll find great discussions, great people, resources, and archives

Faces and Voices of Recovery Dedicated to changing public perceptions of recovery, promoting effective public policy in Washington and in all 50 states, and demonstrating that recovery is working for millions of Americans

 

ONLINE RESOURCES


Online Nar-Anon Outreach Online forum that provides opportunities to chat and attend online meetings over the internet (24/7)

Getting Them Sober One of the best websites, counseling resource and book series on recovery we have found

Parents. The Anti-Drug Extensive amount of info, advice, resources specifically written for parents

Online Al-Anon Outreach Information about online Al-Anon Family Groups and links to meetings on the Internet

Love and Logic Helpful articles, simple and practical techniques to help parents and teachers have less stress and more fun while raising responsible teens

Changing Lives Foundation An informative site providing help for friends and family of addicts/alcoholics—with a focus on how individuals and families recover from these problems. “Addicts and alcoholics aren’t crazy and they CAN quit!”

Sober.com Committed to helping the addicted and families affected by drug abuse and drug addiction—to find rehabs, especially troubled teens. This site also includes various interesting venues for recovering people to connect with each other.

Hazelden A comprehensive site for individuals, families, and communities struggling with addiction to alcohol and other drugs. This nonprofit organization helps people transform their lives by providing the highest quality treatment and continuing care services, education, research, and publishing products available today.

SoberNation The #1 National Recovery Resources and Addiction Treatment Centers Database on the internet

addiction2recovery
A unique Christian recovery organization focusing on outreach to people in all stages of addiction discovery and recovery, helping to  strengthen and empower individuals in recovery

The Institute for Addiction Study Challenging current thinking about addiction in order to inform individuals, groups and families of the current controversies within addiction treatment so they can make informed decisions about recovery

Drug Addiction Support News and current topics about drug addiction—including the latest books and DVD’s for Addiction Recovery, along with resources to learn how to help your family deal with drugs

 

BLOGS


The official blog of: Changing Lives Foundation
We are convinced that people can recover—and make dramatic changes in their lives

Addiction Journal Addiction Journal is a compilation of thoughts, skills, and emotion to help other parents struggling with an addicted child. It is a work in progress, much like recovery

Cathy Taughinbaugh; Find your peace after addiction Sharing and Support for Addiction, Family help for Treatment and Recovery

There is No Hero in Heroin Blog A place for anyone with a family member caught in the grip of Heroin Addiction. You are not alone

Soaring Above Co-Addiction Helping your loved one get clean, while creating the life of your dreams

Dad on Fire On fire about the impact of addiction and need for solutions. This blog is always interesting to read

Parent of Addict  A compilation of thoughts, skills, and emotion to hopefully help other parents struggling with an addicted child

Sober Blogger’s Directory

Top 100 Sober Blogs Make friends. Find support. Help others. Embrace recovery

 

SELF-TESTS FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS

Tools to Assess Others
Alcohol and Drug Addiction Take this Alcohol and Drug Addiction Self-Test for yourself, or for someone you love

Codependence Take this Codependence Self-Test for yourself, or for someone you love

Gambling Addiction Take this Gambling Addiction Self-Test for yourself, or for someone you love

Tools to Assess You
Al-Anon Quiz Is Al-Anon for you?

CRAFFT Quiz (file download) If you’re a teen (12-17 years old) concerned about your own drug and/or alcohol use

Alcohol Screening How much is too much? If you’re an adult (18 or older) concerned about your drinking

 

Contact us with your suggestions/submissions

*The list of organizations, professionals, and advisors (referred to hereafter as “advisors”) is provided solely for informational purposes. Changing Lives Foundation does not endorse, and has not undertaken any independent investigation of the qualifications, credentials, experience, education, training, or proper licensing of, any advisor listed below. Changing Lives Foundation does not have any direct or indirect input in any advice or services provided by any advisor listed on this website.

Any person using contact information provided herein, to locate and select an advisor is strongly encouraged to inquire about the advisor’s professional expertise, experience, licensing, and qualifications before engaging or hiring such a person or organization.

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Low cost, No cost Alcohol Treatment Options Low cost, No cost Alcohol Treatment Options

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Jaywalker Lodge

Jaywalker Lodge

“Suboxone does get us on the road to recovery, but don’t confuse the the on-ramp with the destination.”

~ Bob Ferguson
Founder/Director, Jaywalker Lodge, Carbondale, CO


“Say what you will, the truth is that people, LOTS OF PEOPLE
—millions have quit all alcohol and drug use.
Methadone and suboxone users are users.”

~ Joe Herzanek
President, Changing Lives Foundation
Author, Why Don’t They Just Quit?

Quite a heated discussion regarding the article
Roxane Labs Generic Suboxone Hits the Market

 

Read all the comments below.
To follow the original discussion, click here on “Dad on Fire” blog

November 6, 2009 at 3:59 pm
It seems to me that way to many have bought into the idea that some people just won’t/can’t quit. Sad. Switching from one drug to another. At least now they can be strung out on a legal drug. Harm reduction is a joke. I’m sure the pharmaceutical companies are happy though.
Joe

November 6, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Point accepted. However, what is an affordable alternative? I would really like to know. I have watched a lot of young opiate addicts trip over recovery and rehab for years–over and over again. My own son; one of them. Even residential rehab wasn’t the answer to many. Initially, the intense withdrawals stops most of them from continuing–so comes replacement drug therapy. The big Pharmas do profit off it. That’s another issue. If an addict accepts suboxone or methadone for that matter without trying to use street opiates, they can regain much of what they lost physically and mentally and when stable, they can wean off of either of these. The problem with weaning off of suboxone is the issue of micro-dosing. Its a powerful drug. 1 mg is equal to 20-30 mgs. of methadone. Micro doses and time release implants are available in Europe just for that purpose; not here yet. Methadone is easier to wean off in that respect. the problems is timing. Being a craving addict doesn’t go away that soon enough–and then there is Methamphetamine of which physical and mental restoration is even more questionable. I think residential rehab is a better answer for that.
dadonfire

November 6, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I think this is good news. I am curious if Joe from the above comment has overcome heroin addiction. Suboxone DOES help addicts get off opiates. It may be addicting but it does NOT get you high, it does not ruin your life, it does not land you in jail or the grave. Therefore, its somewhat of a miracle drug. My insurance company covered it and we got it at a reasonable cost. I am all for it.
Barbara

November 6, 2009 at 6:44 pm
This is a really important discussion. I’m glad you brought it up. Suboxone and methadone are both controversial. But then again, so is rehab. I have known numerous families who have spent thousands of dollars (sometimes their child’s college fund) for one rehab after another and no lasting results. As parents we would do just about anything to help our children overcome their addiction problems, but in reality there’s not much we can do. I think Suboxone is one option, but my son ended up selling his doses to pay for heroin. Bottom line is they have to want to stop. Jail seems to be working for my son, he’s got 76 days clean now. The fear is when he gets out. There is NO easy answer.
Barbara

November 6, 2009 at 6:58 pm

As one recent story contributor put it “it is love and love alone that will help you and your family thru this nightmare. Tough love mostly.” I would add everything the experts can offer, sheer human will and a more compassionate world of recovery. Some 22 million drug addicts and alcoholics can’t be wrong. No easy answers is right. Someone I love dearly who fought opiate addiction for a decade and a half views jail as a rescue. I still want to see drug policy reform as part of a growing nation of compassion, acceptance and recovery.
dadonfire


November 6, 2009 at 8:10 pm

Wow, seems like a bit of a hornet’s nest. I spent sixteen years lost in addiction to alcohol and drugs. Heroin and opiate pain meds were some of my favorites. I now have a few decades of total abstinence. Say what you will, the truth is that people, LOTS OF PEOPLE, millions have quit all alcohol and drug use. Methadone and suboxone users are users. They have just switched to legal dope. They have convinced you that they are unique and they just can’t quit. Which is a bunch of crap from a bunch of cry babies.
Regards, Joe

November 7, 2009 at 8:30 am
I have to agree with Joe, millions of folks have recovered, myself included. Barbara, I also see the value of suboxone as a detox protocol–it’s a safe and effective bridge from active opiate use to chemical abstinence. But too many times, the addict and their caregivers get stuck on that bridge. Reducing the damage and consequences of active addiction through harm reduction is an intoxicating notion for weary addicts and their families. Often i have seen cases where active opiate addicts on the road to ruin will “behave themselves” once they start on suboxone. Harm reduction in that sense is effective, insofar as it goes. Many treatment providers LOVE this drug because it makes disruptive patients act compliant. But make no mistake, harm reduction + compliance does NOT equal sobriety. These folks are NOT sober–the pupils are pinned, they have a flat personal affect, and reaction times are off by at least a beat or two. What’s worse, they have switched from an unacceptable chemical dependence to a more socially acceptable drug dependence, and deep down, they know that. This stunts their self-esteem and blocks them from the freedom they are seeking. Sobriety is an onerous, difficult deal and involves a commitment to change and usually, some level of personal and physical discomfort. The notion that you can make lasting and profound personal change without experiencing any personal discomfort or sacrifice whatsoever–that is what the drug companies and their representatives are selling. It’s an intriguing, intoxicating notion, isn’t it? Suboxone does get us on the road to recovery, but don’t confuse the the on-ramp with the destination. The real work begins when patients and their doctors summon the courage to go from “less”chemicals to no chemicals.
Bob Ferguson

November 7, 2009 at 10:36 am
I may have been a bit harsh in my last comment. I tend to do that at times. Using suboxone for a brief period during detox can be helpful. Beyond that and the person has simply decided to use the drug rather than find another coping skill. Talk therapy is the key ingredient in long term total abstinence. 12 Step programs are the best place to turn for this long term help.
Joe

November 7, 2009 at 10:49 am
Joe, Thanks for your comments. I mean that sincerely. For me, what former addicts have to say on these subjects is very valuable because you are the only ones who actually know, first hand, what its like. The rest of us are striving to understand and willing to do just about anything we can to help our loved one, but what we learn over and over is that the addict has to be ready, they have to do it themselves. I hear that 12 Step is the way to go and am praying that my 18 y.o. will open his mind to it when he gets in rehab. You give me hope that anyone can do it – when they are ready. A lot of us just pray that our loved ones are ready sooner than later because we feel helpless as we watch them waste precious years. Thanks again.
Barbara

November 7, 2009 at 11:13 am
Thank you for your kind words Barbara. I didn’t start this yesterday for any other reason than it just makes me mad that SOME, not all, rehab places want to just put people on another drug to FIX their current drug problem. I also didn’t start this to sell books but having said that I am an author and have written a very helpful book on this topic. If you are interested in looking at it just google my name from the first comment.
Regards, Joe

November 10, 2009 at 11:13 am
I was really excited reading the posts. Especially from Bob–one of the best I’ve read in a long time. Gotta admit though I lost that excitement when I clicked on a suboxone link that brought me to a site sponsored by Reckitt.
Jay

November 10, 2009 at 11:13 am
Jay–I encourage you to stay linked with this site. Appreciate your comments a lot. We don’t support Reckitt’s recent actions, as their interest is to sustain profit from a drug (suboxone) that was developed to bridge addiction to recovery and has an expired patent. I say that because they are fighting generic status. We also do not typically support the long term use of drug replacement therapy. Both Suboxone and Methadone are difficult enough for an addict to manage initially. A lot to say about that later. These drugs usefulness is the bridge they provide to an ultimate full and sober recovery. I have to defer to Joe’s comments above for a good description of what they really are in a lot of cases. Legal replacement drugs have their “place”. If it stops an addict on a dangerous steep downhill slope, or pulls him or her out of an abyss; its difficult for addiction doctors in the therapy community to discount their use.
dadonfire

November 10, 2009 at 11:13 am
Great follow-up dad. Nothing wrong with a little help to get started in recovery. Then the real answer can begin, which in my opinion is talk therapy. This applies to more than substance dependent people. Almost anyone can benefit from a mentor of some kind.
Joe

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about affordable phone counseling with Joe Herzanek  click here.

 

Suboxone addiction quit suboxone  Suboxone addiction quit suboxone  Suboxone addiction quit suboxone

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Angel: Pulled from the Wreckage

“You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie”

~ Angel (Sarah McLachlan)


Changing Lives friend and loving grandmother “Gramma Carole” sent us this picture as she recently walked the hospital corridor with her beloved grandson as he struggles with the tremendous grip of addiction.
She discovered that this photo seems to show the glow of a guardian angel on his shoulder.
The words of this song now take on a whole new meaning. 

“Angel”

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

To view music video of Sarah McLachlan performing “Angel”

Please leave a message of encouragement (below) for Gramma Carole and her grandson–who is literally “fighting for his life.” Many thanks.

NEED HELP NOW?
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

_________________________________________

Pulled from the wreckage Pulled from the wreckage

end of my rope

Dear Joe,

Thank you so much for talking to me today.  I was at the end of my rope, until I talked to you. 

I am the 72 year old mother and grandmother of 2 addicts. 

After talking to my son I determined that he is not yet at the point where he wants help, but we (the rest of the family and I) are detaching from them as you advised and I know it is the right thing to do.

I am so glad that I found your website and I can’t wait to get your book and the DVD.  Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

Nancy

NEED HELP NOW?
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling and Intervention for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

RELATED FEEDBACK:
“I had NO idea what was happening to my daughter-in-law”

“It would have saved me a great deal of money, time and pain”

They all come in asking “Why don’t they just quit?”

Home:
Return from “I was at the end of my rope” to Blog Home

__________________________________________________________
Addicted Grandsons,end of my rope,detaching,grandmother of 2 addicts

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Dear Changing Lives,

Thank you for your quick action on the billing and the response in receiving the book.  I received the book in less than 24 hours and sat down immediately and read it.

I had NO idea what was happening to my daughter in-law and had constant tears for the last week.   After reading the book I went to bed with some peace of mind and hope last night.
Thank you again.

~ MJ in Fort Collins, CO

 


“I received your book today in the mail, I curled up on the couch by the fire and read it cover to cover. I just finished, and feel I can now face 2011 with a new optimism. A HUGE thank you to you both!”

~ Optimistic Mom (Whitesboro, NY)

And another from Julie—a  reader and participant on our Facebook and Blog Page:

“please feel free to use my full name. I’ve found that being transparent about all of this is very freeing, plus it helps other people in some way. I love it when I can share my experience with others & see how it helps them.

Wanted to share that I told a fellow Nar-Anon dad about your book & your philosophy about raising the bottom. He said it gave him the courage to kick his 23-year old daughter out when she got high on Christmas Day & caused a huge problem when they were hosting family.

Three days later, she called them from a detox hospital…that SHE had checked herself into! A great start . . . thank you both for letting me share about your book & how it has helped me!!!”

~ Julie Jordan-Wade (Coppell, TX)

We love to hear from everyone. Our best to you all!

~Joe and Judy

Joe and Judy Herzanek, Changing Lives Foundation

NEED HELP NOW?
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

OTHER ARTICLES:
Family Secrets, That rather sounds like “acceptance” equals “resignation”

RETURN:
Return from: “I had NO idea what was happening to my daughter in-law” to BLOG HOME

PURCHASE:
To purchase “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”


 

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gettysburg_addressFrom time to time we like to share some of the response we receive in the mail. This recent letter (with some personal info deleted) sent to us from Larry N (Venice, CA) was a “colorful” and much appreciated addition to our day!

Dear Mr. Herzanek,
I just finished reading your amazing book “Why Don’t They Just Quit?” I have a son that is abusing alcohol, pot and perhaps other substances. . .
. . . This has been a frustrating journey, but your book gives me guidance regarding my behavior toward him, and regarding what I can and can’t do to change his behavior. Hopefully, his path toward recovery will begin today when he gets up.

One more thing—I don’t think that I have read a more effectively-written book. Your straightforward approach, with no frills and fluff, make every sentence informative. This is the Gettysburg Address of how to help with substance abuse. I will be ordering more copies to pass around. Best wishes with your continued work in this field.

Sincerely,

Larry N.
Venice, California

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Please help this Reader/Fan Page Friend.

She asks:
Do you know anyone that has stayed in a relationship with an alcoholic that has no intention of stopping and been happy? Thoughts????

You can email us directly at: whydonttheyjustquit@gmail.com

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A recent comment from LA counselor Deborah Taft Webb (used with permission)

I have both the book and DVD (Why Don’t They Just Quit?) and use them with patients. They are great.

In my last 20 years of counseling and program directing, I have learned that working with the family is a MUST. In fact, they are more at risk to die from their loved ones illness than their addict.

Stress symptoms caused by co-dependency—strokes, heart attacks, cancers, etc. . . are more severe than the addicts disease in a lot of cases. Also, co-dependents loose the joy of living a life of serenity and if not helped, will have consequences in every aspect of their lives.

And of course, they don’t know what to do when their addict gets well. In every program I have developed, the family (with adults) and the parents (with the adolescents) spend almost as much time at the facility as the addicts.

It is a family disease. And they all come in asking “Why don’t they just quit?”

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Real People, Real Stories:

I will never
take for granted . . .

“I will never take for granted what my youngest boy’s hair smells like fresh out of the shower, PJ’d up and ready for bed at night. Those little things make bad days easier.”

We’ve been emailing a wonderful–and very wise woman who just celebrated 9 years of sobriety! She goes by the name of “DC13″ and with permission we share some of her recent thoughts.

It’s the little details in life that we sometimes take for granted that really end up meaning the most especially when they are taken away from us. The wonderful thing is that recovery does happen and lives are changed. Read on. . .

I went to jail 9 years ago yesterday (11th) so today…November 12, 2009…is my 9 year clean date……and let’s just say it’s been quite a roller coaster ride! I personally don’t call where I am as recovered or in recovery….addiction is part of what I am….my sister is diabetic, so she has things that she has to do every single day to make sure that she stays safe and stays alive…..same thing with me…just a different disease ya know. AA is great; as well as NA….personally I think a 12 Step program is very important because it makes you actually work out what makes you tick….but all any of these are is for support…they give the tools to learn to build a “new house” …..but it’s totally up to each person if they choose to build a mansion…..or haphazardly piece together a shack that will blow over with the first spit of wind.

‘Why don’t you just quit?’ was a regular question around my life for about 20 years….I get to put my kids to bed at night now….and know that I’ll get to do again tomorrow… I will never take for granted what my youngest boys hair smells like fresh out of the shower and p.j.’d up and ready for bed at night…those little things make bad days easier.

God…..I know what kind of places and circumstances I put myself in….for me it wasn’t A.A. but it was a 12 step program….helped me learn to help myself…..and introduced me to other people that would be less likely to believe my crap and would help to call me on it when I started spouting it…..accountability is an absolute necessity!

Cure…..don’t believe it…don’t buy it….never heard of it…..had to learn to live in spite of the disease that I have……not let the disease live in spite of me…..I am and will always be an addict…..if I ever for one minute forget that, or become complacent about that or I will once again fall. I work very hard every day to not let that happen….and for 9 years now I have not let my disease be the boss.
But that’s just me.

Thanks DC13!

 

Why Don't They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery." by Joe Herzanek
Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”

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ASK JOE:

> Is a relapse—failure?

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>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”

>Should my husband “back off?”

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Nice comment we received from a sweet woman in New Orleans who lost everything in the flood. We sent her a free book.

“I recently started reading the book, Why Don’t They Just Quit. there are things in this book that I thought about , but did not know how to begin to find the answers.

Thank you Joe for your help, and thank God for using you and your wife, Judy to become a part of my life and family.” ~ Carletha

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about individual counseling with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

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Often, a conversation that begins with a routine ordering question, turns out to be something that touches our hearts. We recently received a question/comment/request from a mother who agreed to share this with you.

After taking care of her book order question, she said “Am anxiously waiting for my book to arrive—as I am praying that it will help our 30 year old son. He has been an addict for 15 years and well…you know. I feel as though I cannot go on much longer. I am being held hostage and tortured by a drug that I do not even use”.

After several back-and-forth emails she wrote:

“Judy, yes you may quote me, and I am not ashamed for my name to be used either. How how did a mother of four who is so dead-set against drugs and alcohol raise children who are driven to it?

But I thank-you for your words. They mean more than you will never know. I was beginning to feel as though the world was not there for me. and then here you are! So sad to say that I am so glad that I am not alone. life. . . I am so very angry. More than words can say. And my son is wanting to end his life. He just cannot seem to get clean and stay that way and he has tried almost everything . . . and he so wants it. . . as do many I am sure. He is my heart. . . Oh I could go on but it is not your worry it is mine . . .and you have heard it all before. . . please pray for my son.”
-Linda

Please, let’s take a moment to pray for all the sons, daughters, husbands, wives, friends and loved-ones who need strength, hope and a miracle!
-Joe and Judy

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“Joe was so clear, direct and certain about the necessity for me to keep my commitment to my boundaries that he helped me to follow through
when I was unsure.”

I just read your most recent newsletter and appreciate your reminders about how to stay sane in the insanity of active addiction in the family. I am so grateful for Joe’s answers a month ago when (my son) was in another relapse and his choices were so painful for me to watch. I needed someone to support me in keeping my boundaries and agreements about what I said I would do if he started using again.

He has been at the Christian men’s recovery home for a month (a Denver Recovery home), as of today. To say I have been enjoying the peace at home is quite an understatement. I went to a church service at their church a week ago and he looks the best I have seen him in a very long time. Since all of his other detoxes were medically handled, he was always on some drug or another.  This time he went cold turkey; what a tough guy. It is working for him and I am incredibly grateful.

Thanks again for the hope, encouragement and suggestions you bring to me and other families struggling with the pain and chaos of a using addict in the family.

Joe was so clear, direct and certain about the necessity for me to keep my commitment to my boundaries that he helped me to follow through when I was unsure. Since the result has been so positive, I will be forever grateful to Joe for his wise counsel and his understanding of addiction.

I am grateful today, humbled by the grace of God and inspired by Joe, and others who bring hope and skills to those impacted by the destruction and pain of drug abuse.

Blessings and gratitude to both of you.

–Mary (Denver, CO)

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We want to thank our friend and talented author/”Teens Under the Influence” Kathy Ketcham for this wonderful review of “Why Don’t They JUST QUIT?” on Amazon.com
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for Family Members, May 14, 2009
By Kathy Ketcham “Author” (Walla Walla, Washington USA) – See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)

Teens Under the Influence: The Truth About Kids, Alcohol, and Other Drugs- How to Recognize the Problem and What to Do About It

Family members often have nowhere to go with their concerns about their addicted loved one. What do I do? How do I help? How do I balance my love for my child (husband, wife, friend) and my desire to protect them from harmful consequences with the need to do everything within my power to get them help? “Help” almost always means bringing the problem into the open — asking friends and family for support, emergency room visits, legal interventions, admitting openly and honestly what drug use and addiction have done to your family — and most of us hide away, hoping the problem will resolve itself over time.

But addiction is a progressive disease and over time, things will get worse. Joe Herzanek’s factual, fascinating book offers compassion for family members, solid evidence-based information about the disease, answers to commonly asked questions, and most important of all, a sense that you are not alone.

As the author of several books on addiction and recovery, I know how important it is to have solid, effective, caring, experience-based information about drug use and addiction — especially for the scared, tired, shamed, blamed family members. This book is an invaluable addition to the literature on addiction. If you or someone you know needs help, buy this book and pass it around to your friends and family members.

Almost every family in this country is affected directly or indirectly by drug use. We have to do everything we can to help people understand what they are facing, using facts support by scientific research, and fighting the stigma that keeps so many hurting people hiding away in silence and shame.

This book is an important and essential resource for family members, teachers, court services personnel, counselors, treatment personnel, ministers, doctors, and anyone whose life is affected by alcohol and other drug use/addiction.

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Re-posted from Fall 2008:

Well, it seems that we have received an interesting comment (below) regarding our DVD from a clinician in South Carolina that is causing quite a buzz in the recovery community.

I purchased this DVD with the plan that it might be useful with families of individuals in treatment. Well, it is all talk, and so shallow as to be not useful at all with this population. I am not sure what I would use it for at all. Don’t waste your money. –Kathleen M. Gomes (North Carolina)

It didn’t take long for responses to flow in from some of our most passionate readers/viewers. Here is a sampling:

I recently purchased the DVD and book on “Why Don’t They Just Quit” by Joe Herzanek. Having a son with a severe alcohol/drug abuse problem, who has been through more than one treatment program, I was desperately looking for answers, not hype or glitter. I found the “roundtable” format on the DVD to be easy to follow. I consider “Why Don’t They Just Quit” to be my “Bible” on drug abuse issues affecting the addict and the families (I loaned it to my son’s father and it looks like my Bible–yellow hi-lights, post it notes, etc, etc.).  I refer to it over and over. Mr. Herzanek lays it out in a straightforward way, using his and others’ personal experiences to clarify the how and why of addiction and recovery. This is a must have tool for anyone that is impacted by a loved one’s addiction.

Sometimes an individual’s “title” can keep them from seeing outside their little box. I would think that these “professionals” would want to hear from people that have actually been scarred by the war on abuse.  thanks for keeping it simple!  Don’t give up on spreading it around….it’s what’s keeping mom’s like me from going insane. –Mari L. Nelson (Burlington, WA)

There is a tug-of-war going on in the recovery community between those with academic letters behind their names and those who have walked through the tunnel of addiction. For example there are those who believe AA is a positive road to walk on, while others scorn AA for any number of reasons. Joe Herzanek writes and talks about addiction with a warmth and depth of understanding that so many others lack. “Why Don’t They Just Quit” is superbly written, a straight-talking, no frills guide for people to follow. It’s a great resource. Herzanek has walked through the tunnel of addiction and can relate to those who struggle. He understands families and what they go through. The book and DVD make a human connection, beyond the facts of addiction. –Ned Wicker (Host/Recovery Now!)

I recently read the book “Why Don’t They Just Quit” by Joe Herzanek. My son had recently told us that he had an alcohol and Vicodin addiction. I didn’t know where to turn first. I talked to someone who had the book because of her son and she brought it to me right away. I could not put it down. I read it from front to back in one sitting. It was like all the answers I was asking in my head, were all answered in that book. It was literally a life saver for me. I was pretty sure before I read the book, that I couldn’t handle what was coming next for my son. But it helped in so many ways. After I read it, I didn’t feel so lost and hopeless. I would recommend it to anyone dealing with this.

This book is from a real person, (not a Dr.) who actually went through these things with his child. You don’t need a Dr. to tell you how it all should work. You need someone to tell you firsthand, how it works.
– Sandy T. (Marseilles, Ill)

Go to this link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A39VF226GBM1JH/ref=cr_cm_rdp_pdp_see_all?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview

. . . if you would like to post a comment on Amazon.com or feel free to post one here. We would love to hear your thoughts.

–Joe

To continue my post from Thursday, Oct 2—regarding a comment (copied below) about our DVD on Amazon.com

I purchased this DVD with the plan that it might be useful with families of individuals in treatment. Well, it is all talk, and so shallow as to be not useful at all with this population. I am not sure what I would use it for at all. Don’t waste your money. –Kathleen M. Gomes (North Carolina)

The responses to Ms. Gomes seem to keep coming in. Scroll to the bottom for info of how to post YOUR comment. Here are the latest:

Ms. Gomes’ review was completely inappropriate for a “Professional” . These materials are geared toward the common everyday person who has been touched by substance abuse with a loved one. “Why Don’t They JUST QUIT?”, DVD and book is spoken and written with genuine compassion and GUIDANCE for those in pain and in need of hope. Mr. Herzanek has experienced addiction, lived through it and now is giving back by sharing his knowledge of what really works with those of us who need it most. My son, is a heroin addict and NO THANKS to those with lots of initials behind their names, (the ‘professionals’) is alive and recovering. THANKS to those ‘professionals’, he was prescribed pain meds, as a result of breaking his hip. The DR. knew full well my son was an addict and that he had been clean for 1 year. That led to a relapse, which led him to another ‘professional’, who prescribed Suboxxone to help get him off of heroin again. The ‘professionals’ told him nothing of the half-life of that miserable drug, nor of any side effects and how addictive it is. Due to the Suboxxone, he checked himself into a detox hospital to rid himself of it. Strongly enough, upon leaving the hospital, the ‘professionals’ prescribed even MORE Suboxxone, which he refused to take. It took months to rid his system of that legally prescribed drug from a ‘professional’. Due to my son reading, “Why Don’t They JUST QUIT?”, it gave him the courage and strength to regain HOPE for a better tomorrow. What kind of ‘professional’ would scorn ANY information, spoken or written that may aid in someone’s recovery and help the family through the toughest period in their lives?????
—Janis G. Parker (Oregon)

“Why Don’t They JUST QUIT?” is written by a person that has been there and done that. He knows first-hand what our loved ones are going through. He is not telling you how to cure it—he is telling you pretty much what to expect, and what not to expect. He knows what the addict is going through. It is easy for a therapist to let you know what you should and shouldn’t do, but the author has lived the life that we are going through. I truly think this is a must read or “watch” for anyone that is going through drug or alcohol addiction or if you are the loved one of that person. I read the book because of my son’s addiction. We didn’t think it was happening. It helped me to realize what my son is going through and some things to expect.
—Carla Elliott

We have also received a few new reviews on the book which I will share with you as well:

I have read quite a bit of books and literature on Alcoholism and I can tell you this is my favorite one. I would recommend it to anyone. Mr. Herzanek speaks from experience and he truly cares about trying to help others with addictions. My husband is an alcoholic and this book has shown me that it is okay not to give up on them, and that there is hope. It also tells of ways you can show “tough love” and “bringing up their bottom” when needed. This book was a real eye opener for me. Again, I would recommend this book to anyone dealing with addictions.
—J. Poirrier (Louisiana)

This is a thoughtful and caring book written for the everyday person with an addicted loved one. It is very helpful when you are alone and desperately hoping your loved one is safe because he isn’t home and you know he is out using again. It was not written with the intention of being used in a professional setting.
—Karon Wold

Thank you, thank you . . . I have been struggling for many years to encourage my husband to stop enabling our youngest son (27) who has been using since he was 13. Last weekend he ended up in jail again (thank God) and I took the firmest stand ever for me and finally convinced my husband to leave him there!!  Man, it was hard, but the neat thing is that while Goggling for info about “enabling” he came across your book, & we ordered it.  And he finally got “it” that we should not bail our son out after reading through several links on enabling!! So, we shall see.  I just wanted to tell you thank you for your wonderful work . . . I love the newsletters & articles . . . I feel so empowered, and not hopeless as before!! God bless from Loveland,
—Pat M. (Loveland, CO)

Just got my books.  I’m previewing it and just hit a, “Thank you, Lord!” moment on page 105 about raising the bottom. I have wondered about that idea for some time now, but couldn’t seem to find professionals nor support groups who I felt were smart enough to answer my questions. I could continue, but to keep it short: Bless you all for putting out these resources!
—Robb Burgie Pineville, NC.

The book is proving to be of great solace. I read all of my Al-Anon books, and attend meetings, and I have a wonderful church family, but this book presents some new thoughts to me. Your book is wonderful! It is as if you have been here in my home, observing.
Thanks again.
—R.L. “Concerned Parent” (Anderson, Indiana)

Go to this link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A39VF226GBM1JH/ref=cr_cm_rdp_pdp_see_all?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview

. . . if you would like to post a comment on Amazon.com or feel free to post one here. We would love to hear your thoughts.

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* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about individual counseling with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

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