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Is it okay to smoke some weed

 

JoeHerzanekQ Is it okay for a recovering addict
to smoke pot?


A. No


This has also been referred to as the “marijuana maintenance plan.”
Regardless of what a person’s past drugs of choice were, smoking pot
during recovery is a very bad idea.

Many people who have tried this have ended up with one of two results:
the same lack of control and abuse problem with smoking pot, or a return to their drug of choice.
Drug users tend to make poor choices while under the influence
of any mind-altering drug. Good intentions fly out the window when
any use begins.

This is actually just an attempt to continue using something—
anything—rather than remain substance free. In order to set the record straight and make this simple, below are questions I am asked over and over, and I’ve included the answers I give over and over.
Our persistent attempts to find a loophole can be quite
humorous at times!

 

JoeHerzanekQ Is it okay to smoke some weed once
in a while?


A. No


 

JoeHerzanekQ If I was a heroin addict and I quit that drug
completely, is it okay to just smoke some weed?


A. No



 

JoeHerzanekQ If I’m a recovering alcoholic, is it okay to
smoke some weed?


A. No


 

JoeHerzanekQ I’m in recovery, but since weed is found to
grow naturally in many places, is it okay
to just smoke weed?


A. No


 

JoeHerzanek

Q Since weed is not really a drug, is it okay to
smoke some weed?


A. No


 

JoeHerzanekQ I heard about a guy in recovery that smokes
weed. Do you think I might be able to?


A. No


 

JoeHerzanekQ There is an organization called NORMAL.
If a group like this is able to get marijuana legalized,
do you think I could just smoke weed?

A. No


 

JoeHerzanekQ I’ve heard about smoking “medical marijuana” for people
with health problems. What’s up with this?


A. This is one really bad idea.

 

Supposedly for pain relief, it is now possible to get a medical marijuana
(MM) card. The typical MM card-holder is a twenty-three-year-old
male. Even if it were true that we have high numbers of young males
with chronic pain—smoking marijuana for “medical reasons” is still a
mistake. First of all, it is very easy to just extract the active ingredient,
THC, and use it in pill-form. Why inhale the smoke into the lungs, other
than to get the quicker rush, or “high” the drug produces?

Secondly, this is one more way of throwing our hands up in the air and saying
“People are just going to get stoned and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Do we, as a nation, want to make it easier for young people to get stoned? Personaly, I don’t think so. Lastly, marijuana addiction is number three on the list of reasons people seek treatment. The first is alcohol, second is for
opiates (pain meds) and then marijuana. After these three, come cocaine, and methamphetamine.

“We owe it to the people we serve to speak out
about the unintended consequences legalization (of
marijuana) would have and the toll it would take on the
health and safety of our communities.”
“Over the course of my career, from St. Petersburg
to Seattle, I learned a lot about the damage drug abuse
does to the fabric of our society—and about the terrible
toll it takes on individuals, families and communities
across this country,” Kerlikowske told his former peers.
“I’ll never forget the rage and despair I felt when I
worked undercover and I saw a drug dealer take a hit of
marijuana—and then blow the smoke in the face of his toddler.”

~Gil Kerlikowske, Director, Office of National Drug Control Policy
(comments from a speech given at the International Conference of Chiefs of Police Annual Convention, October 23, 2009).

 

Why Don't They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery." by Joe HerzanekThis “Q & A with Joe” is excerpted from Part 5 of “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”

 

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MORE ASK JOE:
>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”

>Should my husband “back off?”

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okay for recovering addict to smoke pot okay to smoke pot okay for recovering addict to smoke pot
okay to smoke pot okay to smoke weed

 

 

February 16, 2012 by jherzanek | 5 comments

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Pain Meds Cause More PainPain Meds Cause More Pain! The new silent epidemic.

This article excerpted from the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.” by Joe Herzanek

Technology is wonderful—up to a point. The medical and pharmaceutical industries have made huge advances to help those suffering from all sorts of diseases. Most of these advances are genuine lifesavers.

Americans are enjoying longer and higher quality lives—so much so, that we have come to expect many things as normal (diseases cured, symptoms gone and less pain for those suffering the debilitating affects of certain health problems).

Much Too Popular
One class of drugs—opiate painkillers, has become much too popular. These meds will not only relieve physical pain but will also give the user a pleasant euphoric effect at the same time. For a significant and growing number of people this euphoric state of mind is becoming more and more difficult to let go of (similar to the popularity of Valium in the 70′s—which by the way, has been recently increasing as well).

So how and why is this happening? How do pain meds cause even more pain? Let me start by saying that these drugs are very necessary for genuine pain—such as pain experienced after a surgery, broken bones, dental work and more. When used as prescribed, for short periods of time these drugs make life manageable. In some very rare cases they may be appropriate for extended periods of time—especially when a person has a terminal disease. A very small percentage of people fall into this category. Thank God for these medications.

The majority of people who take these medications do not fall in this group. Here is where the problem starts. Rarely does anyone start out to become dependent on opiate pain meds. It happens slowly without being noticed. This is an insidious process. Usually, there comes a time when a person’s physical pain is gone. With regular use of painkilling drugs, the central nervous system has come to expect the drug and the sedative affect it produces—as normal.

Withdrawal
When a person stops using the drug, the body revolts. This is called withdrawal. It’s normal. Much less extreme, but nonetheless similar, a heavy coffee drinker who suddenly quits drinking coffee altogether will experience headaches for a few days. This is because their central nervous system has become accustomed to regular jolts of caffeine throughout the day. Withdrawal from caffeine is usually short-lived and not too difficult. Stopping opiate pain meds is similar, but much, much more intense. The withdrawal symptoms are often very painful—so much so that the person will start to think that their pain is not really gone and they must get and take more pain meds.

A Vicious Cycle
Not only is the body expecting this drug, but a person who is taking pain medication is also building a tolerance to it. Their body is requiring more, sometimes lots more—to feel better. This is a vicious cycle that feeds on itself and only gets worse over time. The person taking theses drugs will also become much more sensitive to all pain—as the normal ability to handle mild pain with over-the-counter medications is now diminished.

I’ve recently watched this problem arise close to home, as a family member needed surgery. He had been regularly taking large amounts of pain meds for back pain. While in the hospital for knee-replacement surgery, he found that he required a much larger dosage of pain meds than a normal person would need. After he was given the maximum safe dosage—excruciating pain still persisted. One feels helpless in these situations.

To ensure that this doesn’t happen, pain meds really should only be used when truly needed. Otherwise, when the time comes that a person genuinely needs them—these pain-relieving drugs may not work at all.

How large is this problem really? In 2007 there were a total of 3.7 billion prescriptions written in the United States. 182 million were for pain meds*! I have double-checked these numbers because I thought they couldn’t be correct. Pain meds are second only to prescriptions written for lowering cholesterol (192 million prescriptions). Anti-depressant prescriptions came in third with 158 million.

If you subtract people aged 21 and under from these numbers—that leaves 230 million adults. According to these calculations, over 15 million people are taking opiate pain medications every day. This is 5% of the entire adult population.

Do all these people need opiate pain medication every day? The only way to know for sure is to quit, go through withdrawal and see how you feel after a few months—drug-free. More and more people are unwilling to go through this process. Today, addiction to opiate pain medications is one of the main reasons people are checking into rehab centers.

So how does one avoid becoming dependant on pain medications? And once a person has become dependant on them, how do they learn to safely quit?

Return from Pain Meds Cause More Pain! The new silent epidemic to Drug Addiction Help Now Home

RELATED ARTICLES:
Opiate Pain Meds: Avoiding Opiate Prescription Drug Addiction in Recovery

Read more about this topic—chapter 27, Why Don’t They JUST QUIT?

Effects of Addiction


* IMS Health Services (2007 Research Statistics)

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February 12, 2012 by jherzanek | 6 comments

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12 Ways Recovery From Addiction Will Save Your Marriage12 Ways Recovery From Addiction Will Save Your Marriage

 

Addiction in a marriage is never a good thing. The drug or alcohol becomes almost like a third person in the relationship and drives a wedge between spouses. The personality of the addict and spouse changes, which alters the dynamic of the marriage. However, odd as it may seem, there are ways that recovery from addiction can end up saving your marriage. Here’s how:

The Role of Therapy and the Marriage Dynamic

Addiction recovery will involve therapy of some kind. For addicts who are married or have a family, it often involves therapy sessions in which the entire family participates. These family therapy sessions offer an excellent opportunity to address the family dynamics, discuss past hurts and rebuild damaged relationships. Doing so will cause you to come out with a stronger marriage, a renewed sense of trust in each other, and a deeper bond.

Without therapy, the marriage and family relationships may languish in the same dysfunctional interactions that arose as a result of the addiction. The behavior of the addict during the addiction likely caused significant damage to family relationships. Trust was replaced with deceit. Integrity was replaced with lies. If these emotions and actions are allowed to remain, the likelihood of the marriage surviving is very small.

Therapy can help families work through the emotional and mental component of addiction and its impact on the entire family. Through therapy, the addict and spouse or family members can regain open and honest communication, rebuild trust, foster forgiveness and learn self-acceptance. Once the old wounds have been brought out into the open, family recovery can begin to take place.

Family therapy provides a necessary and safe environment for children of addicts as well. Not only can children of addicts play a part in their parents’ recovery, family therapy can also serve as an intervention for at-risk children of addicts. These children may be on the path to addiction themselves, as a result of having to grow up with addiction in the family as well as genetic factors. Early intervention can help prevent children from following in their parents’ footsteps.

The 12 Recovery Principles

The principles learned during recovery from addiction can also assist in improving the marriage. A principle is a basic action or guideline that the addict has committed to following as he or she progresses through recovery from addiction. Principles become a way of life for recovering addicts and their families.

The principles of recovery from addiction will vary from person to person, but the most common core principles are taken from the 12 steps to recovery:

  • Honesty – The addict openly and honestly faces up to their addiction and commits him or herself to honest interactions henceforth.
  • Hope – As it pertains to the hope the addict can develop as recovery progresses. Hope of recovery is a powerful motivator.
  • Faith – This can refer to having faith in yourself, your spouse or in a higher power, any of which can pull you through the tough times.
  • Courage – This refers to the courage to openly and honestly confront yourself, your addictions and related actions.
  • Integrity – The ability to own up to our past mistakes and take responsibility for them.
  • Willingness – Willingness to change and willingness to let go of destructive habits.
  • Humility - A willingness to ask for help when needed.
  • Discipline and Action – Committed actions to support recovery from addiction and repair relationships.
  • Forgiveness - Asking for forgiveness from those you have hurt through your addictions. The forgiveness must come in the form of actions, not just words.
  • Acceptance – Admitting mistakes and accepting others and yourself.
  • Knowledge and Awareness – Becoming aware of yourself as you move through life and having awareness of your life’s purpose. This principle requires you to try to do the right thing in all actions.
  • Service and Gratitude – Serving as a mentor to other recovering addicts and expressing gratitude for the accomplishments you’ve made.

The Impact of the 12 Principles on Relationships

These 12 principles can go a long way toward saving your marriage. By following the principles, you and your spouse can enjoy more honest communication and trust, which will lead to a rebuilt intimacy. You will learn about codependent behaviors and how to break free of them. You will learn how to help your spouse, not control them. You will learn about taking personal responsibility for yourself and your actions.

Although recovery from addiction is a painful process and may at times feel as though it is tearing your marriage further apart, a couple can make it through addiction and recovery with their marriage intact and stronger than ever before.

Related Resources:

Learn about using the Family Medical Leave Act for addiction recovery.

 

About the Author:

Alan Goodstat, LCSW, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, received his Masters in Social Work at Columbia University in New York City. He’s now a Director of Performance Improvement for a Behavioral Hospital System and contributes to the addiction treatment site RecoveryConnection.org. He wrote a chapter on substance abuse in the book Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding Teenagers With Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

 

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December 21, 2011 by jherzanek | 3 comments

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This article excerpted from the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.” by Joe Herzanek

The Parable of the Prodigal Son

While he was still a long way off,
his father saw him coming.
Filled with compassion
the father ran to the son,
threw his arms around him and said,
“Welcome home.”
His son had come to his senses.
Let’s have a party!

His brother refused to come to the party
even after his father pleaded with him
to join them.
“I’ve stayed here all these years
and never caused a problem.
No one ever had a party for me,”
said the brother.
–paraphrased from the Gospel of Luke

Siblings often find themselves caught in the middle of the recovery process. In the story of the prodigal son, a father waits and watches expectantly for the return of his wayward child. The boy left home and not only squandered his inheritance, but also wasted a big chunk of his life. But there is so much more to the story. As we take a closer look at the entire family, we see that “the rest of the story” can apply to families and siblings today who are struggling with the early stages of recovery.

I know from firsthand experience how siblings can suffer. During my addiction, I was blind to how my actions were affecting my brother and two sisters. Actually, the entire family did not understand what was happening. Even now, more than thirty years later, some members of my family remain bitter, and we have never been able to resolve those hard feelings.

There is only so much time in any given day and when there is one high-maintenance family member, often the other children are neglected. Parents have a limited amount of energy for each day, and then they reach a point of exhaustion. In my case, which again is not unique, I received more than my share of attention. I, like many other addicts, was a very needy person. My life was one crisis after another. There were many occasions when I needed money. I drained my parents of their finances as well as their time and energy. Who suffered? At the time, it was far from obvious, but as I look back it is clear that my brother and sisters—basically good, low-maintenance kids were the innocent victims.

Mom and Dad spent a lot of their parenting energy either helping me with a problem or worried about what I might do next; they were even afraid to answer the phone. They couldn’t be in two places at once, physically or mentally. As a result, my siblings did not receive nearly the amount of attention they deserved. My parents missed their school programs and sports games because of my problems, and holidays were often ruined. Much of the focus was on Joe, and I was messing up my life while my brother and sisters were left striving to do the right thing and gain my parents’ approval and attention.

To make matters worse, my parents’ attention continued to be focused on me for a long time into my recovery. My siblings had to hear over and over, Isn’t it great that Joe’s quit using drugs? How wonderful that Joe is clean and sober. Joe has been drug-free for a year now “let’s celebrate!” These sort of comments continued, even after everything should have been back to normal. Talk about rubbing psychological salt in a wound; my brother and sisters must have been ready to puke. At that time, none of us had a clue how this would ultimately affect our future relationships.

Insidious: working or spreading harmfully in a subtle or stealthy manner. awaiting a chance to entrap; treacherous. harmful but enticing. Developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent. (Webster’s Dictionary)

It was only after years of recovery and study on this topic that this realization came to me. Because of this disease’s slow progression, few families are aware of the effect addiction has on the family as a whole. Few addicts think of making amends toward those who did not appear to be directly affected.

When I entered treatment many years ago, there was not much emphasis placed on the importance of family in the recovery process. Today, this is a key component in most treatment programs. Parents and siblings are strongly encouraged to be part of the process. Some centers will even offer what is called Family Week. This is a time for those who have been negatively affected to become involved in the recovery process. Many times family members will refuse to get involved: “He/she had the problem, not me. And now you are asking me to get counseling? You must be crazy.” Nonetheless, I strongly suggest that family members attend some meetings–if for no other reason than to vent frustration. It will be worth it.

Addiction is treacherous for the whole family. Over time, relationships can become a tangled web. Feelings get hurt and bitterness creeps in, almost unnoticed. Strife begins to build, and after a while no one remembers why. But life is too short to waste years like this. Miracles can happen when a professional helps untangle the mess.

Time has yet to heal some of the wounds in my family. The impact of my addiction and recovery has left deep scars, and damaged relationships among my immediate family that we are still attempting to understand and mend. Despite our attempts to keep things simple, life can sometimes become very complicated. Over the years, my siblings have married. Bitterness and unresolved strife have colored relationships not only among my siblings, but among our spouses and children as well. Recovery and the process of making amends to those who were hurt takes a while. Sometimes these differences may never be resolved.

Quitting, as wonderful as that may be, is not the same as recovering. Recovery means taking responsibility for the broken relationships that occurred when the addict was using. Repairing broken relationships is critical to the process of recovery. With patience and time, progress can be made.

This article excerpted from the book Why Don’t They Just Quit?

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about individual counseling with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

RELATED ARTICLES:
Alcohol Addiction, Getting Rid of Resentments; Easier Said Than Done
Children of Addicts: The Innocent Victims

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TO PURCHASE: “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”

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Siblings forgotten ones Alanon siblings

November 20, 2011 by jherzanek | 6 comments

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This article “10 Tips for Surviving Holidays
with the Dysfunctional Family”

It is so full of great information that I decided to repost it again.

~By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.

For some families, holidays are just another excuse to get together to eat good food and to have a good time. They’re not looking for articles like this one because they’ve somehow figured out the formula for successful family togetherness with minimum stress. If you have a challenging family, it’s only human to be a bit incredulous and then more than a bit jealous to see other folks living out the holiday fantasy when you’re just trying to live through it.

Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a lifetime of holiday gatherings where you just grin and go to your happy place until, thank goodness, it’s over! You can make a difference. You may even be able to start to enjoy your personal dysfunctional crowd. With a little planning and some social engineering, you can take control of the situation and make this holiday feel better.

First, make an honest appraisal of the family. It’s not new information that your mother doesn’t like your sister’s husband or your grandmother is going to want attention for her latest ache and pain. It’s not news to anyone that so-and-so has to be the center of attention or so-and-so somehow gets her feelings hurt every year. Instead of denying these realities, plan for them. (You get extra credit if you can find a way to have a sense of humor about them too.) Then consider using the following tips to begin to avoid at least some of the usual family drama.

1. Line up some co-conspirators. Chances are you’re not the only one who is irked by your family’s dysfunctional routines. Figure out who you can call on to help make things different. Then do some pre-event strategizing. Agree to tag-team each other with the folks you all find particularly difficult. Set up a signal you’ll use to call in a replacement. Brainstorm ways to steer a certain individual’s most tiresome and troublesome antics in a different direction.

2. Ask your co-conspirators to brainstorm ways to give challenging relatives an assignment: Is someone always critical of the menu? Ask her if she would please bring that complicated dish that is her trademark so she’ll have a place to shine. Is there a teenager who mopes about, bringing everyone down? Maybe offer to pay him to entertain the younger set for a couple hours after dinner so the adults can talk.

3. Invite “buffers.” Most people’s manners improve when outsiders enter the scene. If you can count on your family to put their best feet forward for company, invite some. (If not, don’t.) There are always people who would love a place to go on holidays. Think about elderly people in your church or community whose grown children live far away, or divorced friends whose kids are with the other parent this year, or foreign exchange students from your local high school or college.

4. Nowhere is it written that there shall be alcohol whenever a family gets together.
If there are problem drinkers in the family, let everyone know ahead of time that you are holding an alcohol-free party. Serve sparkling cider and an interesting non-alcoholic punch. People in your family who can’t stand being at a gathering without an alcoholic haze will probably leave early or decline the invitation. Everyone else will be spared another holiday ruined by someone’s inability to handle their drinking.

5. Take charge of seating. Have some of the younger kids make place cards and assign seats. Folks are less likely to switch places when admiring kids’ handiwork. Put people who rub each other the wrong way at opposite ends of the table. Seat the most troublesome person right next to you or one of your co-conspirators so that you can head off unfortunate conversation topics as soon as they start.

6. Guide the conversation. If your family doesn’t seem to know how to talk without getting into arguments or if you’re not the most socially adept person yourself, give yourself some help by introducing The Conversation Game (see below). Announce at the beginning of the meal that you want to use the gathering as a time to get to know each other better. Ask everyone to indulge you by playing the game for at least part of the meal. Hopefully, people will like this change in family dynamics enough to want to keep it going.

7. Give kids a way to be included. Then set them free. Kids are simply not going to enjoy being trapped at a table with adults (especially dysfunctional adults) for extended periods of time. They get restless. They get whiny. They slump in their chairs. Yes, they should be expected to behave with at least a minimum of decorum during the meal but head off complaints and tantrums by planning something for them to do while the adults linger at the table. Have the materials for a simple craft project set up and ready to go. Remember that teenager in #4? Perhaps this is when she plays a game outside with the younger kids while older ones watch a movie.

8. No willing teens? Set up a childcare schedule ahead of time so the adults spell each other. Auntie oversees a kid project while the rest of the adults finish their meal. Uncle takes the kids out to run around between dinner and desert. Plan ahead to share the load and nobody feels martyred and everybody has a better time.

9. Provide escape routes. Togetherness is not for everyone. Make sure there are ways for the shyer or more intimidated to get away from the crowd. If most people will be watching football, set up a movie in another room for those who want out. Ask for help in the kitchen to give the overwhelmed person a graceful way to withdraw from the bore who is boring her. Set up a jigsaw puzzle on a card table in a corner so that people who don’t want to be part of the conversation have a way to occupy themselves and still be part of the party. Arrange with one of your co-conspirators to suggest a before- or after-dinner walk for people who need a breather.

10. After everyone leaves, reward yourself. Sink into your favorite chair and give yourself credit (and an extra piece of pie?) for trying to make a difference. It takes a lot of time and a lot of effort to make significant change in the habits and attitudes of a dysfunctional family. Any small step in the right direction is something to be thankful for. Good for you!

The Conversation Game

This is a game the whole family can play. Make up a stack of cards with discussion starters on them. Brainstorm “starters” that will make people reminisce or laugh. Make sure to include cards that appeal to all ages. Some ideas are listed below.

To play the game, ask the person to your right to pick a card and read it. Each person at the table gets to answer. It’s fine for someone to “pass” if they don’t have something to say. After everyone has had a turn to respond, the deck gets passed to the next person to choose a card. And so on.

Sample starters:

• What song brings up the happiest memories for you?
• If you were a car, what kind would you be?
• If you were given a thousand dollars with the rule that you couldn’t spend it on yourself, what would you do with it?
• What was the best day of your life so far?
• If you could change places with a celebrity, who would it be and why?
• If you could go to a fancy restaurant and price were no object, where would you go and what would you order?
• What is the best way to cheer you up when you’re down?
• What is the one thing you’ve done in your life that you are proudest of?
• What was your favorite childhood game or toy? (For kids, what is it now?)
• If you formed a band, what would you name it? What kind of music would you play?
• If you had the choice of a day: Would you rather choose a day 10 years ago or a day 10 years from now?
• If you could have 1 superpower, what would it be?
• If you could live somewhere else for a year, where would you go?
• If you knew you were going to spend a year in a science station in Antarctica, what 3 things would you most want to take with you to do when you weren’t working?
• What do you think is the secret to staying young at heart?
• When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Do you remember why? (For kids: What do you think you’d like to be and why?)
• What bargain would you love to find on eBay or at a garage sale?
• What do you really, really hope someone will invent soon?
• If someone gave you a gift certificate for a tattoo, what would you get and where would you put it?
• Which would you rather be: A famous athlete, a great singer, or an important politician?

NEED HELP NOW?
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

RELATED ARTICLES:
Siblings: The Forgotten Ones, by Joe Herzanek
Dysfunctional Families, Validating Their Children

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PURCHASE:
To purchase “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”

 

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Dysfunctional Family Dysfunctional Family

November 20, 2011 by jherzanek | 2 comments

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Resentments, the Ultimate PoisonResentments, the Ultimate Poison . . . to self.

~ by Nikki Holman

In recovery there is a lot of talk about resentments. WE ALL HAVE THEM, WE ALL CARRY THEM & HOLD ON TO THEM.  I can remember being in treatment & being told that it was paramount to our recovery to let these resentments go. Easier said than done at the time (you see for me I believed that holding on to these resentments kept me safe). They kept me safe both physically and emotionally. How totally totally wrong. Not only did it keep me twisted up inside, it prevented me from being FREE.

Moving on and letting go of resentments was something I tried to do for a long time. I tried without success; the failure was not because I was doing all the right things, it was because I was failing to look HONESTLY AT MY PART.

Allowing myself to carry this resentment toward another person without accepting my part of the problem—gave me a feeling of entitlement to be angry. I have really been trying to live recovery—and for me that means looking honestly at situations with a different perspective.

The largest resentment I carried for years was in regard to my ex-husband. Did he harm me and mine? An emphatic yes!! But recently I have begun to realize that not only did I have a part in that harm but I also harmed him!! We harmed each other and boy how nice it was of me all these years to hold myself less accountable than I held him, NOT! We were both human, we allowed ourselves to become embroiled in a bitter harmful dysfunctional pattern. Who am I to say the wrongs to him were less painful than his wrongs to me. This has been so FREEING!

I recently dealt with him again on the phone; no he is not someone I care to hang out with, surround myself with—but I can be caring and kind and healthy in my interactions with the father of my children. And ultimately with the loss of this resentment I can change my patterns for the future.

I am so grateful to have come to this point. I was able to make amends with him regardless of whether he did the same to me. You see, I can ultimately only control me, my actions and reactions. If we are truly trying to find full recovery, we don’t get to withhold our amends due another—in a STAND-OFF till they “right their wrongs” with us (doesn’t work like that and we only keep ourselves miserable).

I finally understand how important this is. I am not a VICTIM; I am a HUMAN—one who makes mistakes. I’m no better, no worse than another.

THIS brings me peace.

 

MORE FROM NIKKI HOLMAN:
A recovering Addict’s taste of tough love! (for the loved ones of the addict)

RELATED:
The AA Promises

NEED HELP NOW? (do you need help with tough love?)
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling and Intervention
for Families Dealing with Drug or Alcohol Abuse

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To purchase the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit?
What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”

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Resentments Ultimate Poison letting go Resentments  Ultimate Poison letting go

 

November 2, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

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Relapse. It Happens.

. . . but it doesn’t have to be the end of the road.

This article excerpted from the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.” by Joe Herzanek

Is Relapse Part of Recovery?
Addiction has been called a chronic relapsing disease. Relapse is when the person in recovery chooses to try some controlled using again after attempting to remain abstinent. We know that addicts/alcoholics can’t control substance use. If they could, they wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. Relapse is one more failed attempt at trying to control how much they are able to use.

Using a substance occasionally and in moderation isn’t a problem for social drinkers. But once someone crosses over to habitual and uncontrolled use, there is no going back. Attempts to regain control—to use alcohol or drugs socially and occasionally—are common, and these attempts lead to relapses. Statistics show that approximately 90 per- cent of those who complete treatment will have a relapse—sometimes referred to as a slip.


Five months after leaving treatment in April, I tried just one more time to see if I could control my using. I went out with an old friend and drank.

I don’t remember if I called Gary or he called me. Gary and I used to take drugs together. He was a good friend. We had known each other since high school. He knew I had quit, but he didn’t know much about recovery. We hadn’t seen each other for months, since before I had gone to the treatment center. We went out to a bar. I don’t think I had any intention of drinking. After an hour or two of playing pool and being in the midst of a crowd of people who were drinking, I ordered a beer. To this day, I don’t know what I was thinking. After five or six beers, I knew I had screwed up.

I wasn’t nearly as wasted as I wanted to be. What now? Be- cause of everything I had heard in recovery groups, I now felt a tremendous sense of guilt. Why did I let this happen? Looking back on it, I can see that it was a chain of events. Talking with Gary, meet- ing him at a bar, staying and playing pool—all the sights, sounds and smells were too much for me in the beginning of my sobriety. A bad idea. Those few drinks did not give me the effect I craved. I realized that it was going to take much more than a few drinks. I didn’t want that old life back and it became obvious to me that I had to make an all or nothing choice.

It was just one night, but that one night motivated me to get right back to working on my recovery. This would fall into the category of a slip—one stupid decision that was brief and over quickly. I guess I just had to test the water one more time. What this experience did was confirm to me that my addiction was real. I felt like an idiot. I had just blown one hundred fifty days of sobriety, and I didn’t even enjoy it.

Having a few drinks had always been the start of trouble for me. I knew I had to come to my senses right away, or I would soon be look- ing for drugs as well. This small slip would end up as a complete return to full-blown using, or I could end it that night. By this time in my recovery, I had learned enough to know what was happening and what the consequences could be. I must have had a moment of clarity. No- body needed to tell me that I’d screwed up. Going back to the old life was the last thing I wanted.

I wasn’t sure what to do, so I decided to go back to my treatment center for a couple of days to sort this out.

I have heard similar stories from others who have relapsed. Many of them remember that exact, pivotal moment when they were faced with the decision of what to do. Here are the two different trains of thought that can occur to an addict after a relapse. I’ve blown it anyway, so I may as well keep using for a while. Or, This was a dumb idea. I’d better get right back to recovery before it gets much worse. Thankfully, the latter was my thinking.

Ways to Avoid Relapse
Developing relationships with others who are facing the same challenges are very important. A couple of close friends, a sponsor, a mentor—any one of these—can help hold a person accountable. I knew I had let some people down. But these same people were able to encourage me to keep moving forward.

One of the results of an addict spending time with people in recovery is that it will ruin their once seemingly gratifying relationship with alcohol and drug use. Those in recovery learn about the disease, and from that point on they know too much about its power to ever enjoy it the way they used to. They know that there’s no going back. If some- one slips, they often feel the way I did—like an idiot for even trying to enjoy it again. But this is all okay, as we all learn from mistakes like this. Family and friends shouldn’t get too discouraged when someone slips, because it’s common in early recovery. Look at it as one more opportunity for your loved one to become convinced that the addiction is indeed real.

My friend and addiction counselor Larry Weckbaugh in Eagle, CO compares recovery to a series of stairs—and landings in-between the flights. The addict might be up three flights and two landings when they relapse. They don’t fall into the basement; they only go down one floor.

Is there a difference between a slip and a relapse?
Sort of. The difference lies in how a person handles it. . .

This article is excerpted (pg. 187) from the 2010 revised and updated book
“Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”

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September 25, 2011 by jherzanek | 1 comment

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eNewsletter Archive

Archive

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Click on each title to find:

 HELP WITH HAVING “THAT MOST DIFFICULT CONVERSATION”

 IS IT OKAY TO TAKE OPIATE PAIN MEDICATION IN RECOVERY?

12-STEP RECOVERY AND “THINGS OF GOD” –A PERFECT MATCH 

DAN’S STORY: A MOTHER’S PAINFUL LESSONS LEARNED 

DETACHMENT. HOW CAN I?

WE CAN’T AFFORD TREATMENT. WHAT NOW?

WILLPOWER: ISN’T ADDICTION JUST A WILLPOWER PROBLEM?

SIBLINGS: THE FORGOTTEN ONES

POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL

“YES, YOUR KID IS SMOKING POT” (What every parent needs to know now.)

INSIDER TIPS ON ADDICTION RECOVERY DURING A RECESSION

PAIN MEDS CAUSE MORE PAIN

METH: “THE DEVIL’S DRUG” (Can Meth addicts really recover?)

THE ACCIDENTAL ADDICT

“MEANEST MOM”

INTERVENTIONS
(Believe it or not, you do them all the time!)

WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH STRESS?

HOLIDAY PROBLEMS?

RELAPSE. IT HAPPENS 

 

Joe & Judy Herzanek

Joe and Judy Herzanek


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September 5, 2011 by jherzanek | 1 comment

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Elderly couple in support group

Elderly couple in support group

Participants in a support group for older adults at the Hanley Center, an addiction treatment and rehab center in West Palm Beach, Fla. say a prayer. A remarkable shift in the number of older adults reporting substance abuse problems is making this scene more common. Between 1992 and 2008, treatment admissions for those 50 and older more than doubled in the U.S. That number will continue to grow, experts say, as the massive baby boom generation ages. Photo: Wilfredo Lee / AP

___________________________________________________________

An increasing number of Baby Boomers and elderly Americans are seeking treatment for substance abuse–and this number is growing rapidly. According to The Associated Press, The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration reports that treatment admissions doubled in adults age 50 and over between 1992 and 2008.

It is widely predicted by experts that this wave will continue–as baby boomers who developed drug addiction problems 30 to 40 years ago continue to age. Older adults are more likely to abuse alcohol than illicit drugs, the article states. According to the AP, treatment professionals state that there are many older adults with substance abuse issues who are not seeking treatment.

Currently, there are few treatment programs specifically designed for older adults (with more and more coming on the scene each month). The article notes that seniors in mixed age groups may have a hard time relating to younger participants and may end up mentoring younger participants instead of focusing on their own issues.

___________________________________________________________

Big spike recorded in older drug, alcohol addicts

MATT SEDENSKY, Associated Press
Updated 02:39 a.m., Wednesday, May 18, 2011

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — They go around this room at the Hanley Center telling of their struggles with alcohol and drugs. They tell of low points and lapses, brushes with death and pain caused to families. And silently, through the simple fact that each is in their 60s or beyond, they share one more secret: Addiction knows no age.

“I retired, I started drinking more,” one man said. “I lost my father, my mother, my dog, and it gave me a good excuse,” said another.

A remarkable shift in the number of older adults reporting substance abuse problems is making this scene more common. Between 1992 and 2008, treatment admissions for those 50 and older more than doubled in the U.S. That number will continue to grow, experts say, as the massive baby boom generation ages.

“There is a level of societal denial around the issue,” said Peter Provet, the head of Odyssey House in New York, another center offering specialized substance abuse treatment programs for seniors. “No one wants to look at their grandparent, no one wants to think about their grandparent or their elderly parent, and see that person as an addict.”

All told, 231,200 people aged 50 and over sought treatment for substance abuse in 2008, up from 102,700 in 1992, according to the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Older adults accounted for about one of every eight seeking help for substance abuse in 2008, meaning their share of treatment admissions has doubled over the 16-year period as other age groups’ proportions shrunk slightly.

The growth outpaces overall population gains among older demographics. Between 2000 and 2008, substance abuse treatment admissions among those 50 and older increased by 70 percent while the overall 50-plus population grew by 21 percent. Experts say that’s because boomers have historically high rates of substance abuse, often developed three or four decades ago, that comes to a head later in life.

“The baby boom population has some experience with substance misuse and is more comfortable with these substances,” said Dr. Westley Clark, director of SAMHSA’s center on substance abuse treatment.

Treatment professionals believe the actual number of older people with substance abuse problems is many times larger than the amount seeking help.

While the number of older people with substance abuse problems is booming, relatively few facilities offer treatment programs specifically for their age group. Most pool people of all ages together; many divide by gender. Those that do offer age-specific programs say it helps participants relate to one another and keeps them focused on themselves, rather than mentoring younger addicts.

Provet said some have questioned whether it’s worthwhile to target efforts at seniors, who generally have fewer years left to benefit from treatment than younger people. He dismisses that reasoning, comparing it to arguing that a cancer patient should be turned away from chemotherapy or radiation treatments simply because they’re 65.

Besides, older participants at Odyssey House have the highest completion rate — 85 percent during the last fiscal year.

“It’s almost as if they say, ‘This now is my last shot. Let me see if I can get my life right finally,’” he said.

Among those taking that approach is Henry Dennis, who at 70 has used heroin for the past 50 years. He came to Odyssey before, relapsed and was arrested for drug possession. Dennis says he’s seen at least a dozen friends die of drug use, but it wasn’t enough to make him stop.

Now in his eighth month of treatment, he says he finally has the resolve to quit.

“I’m going to get it right this time,” said Dennis, who has worked a variety of odd jobs. “I don’t want to die, not just yet.”

Dennis’ treatment is paid for by the state of New York. Many pay out of pocket. Medicare offers some coverage for outpatient treatment but generally doesn’t cover inpatient programs.

Experts have observed a rise in illicit drug use, while treatment for alcohol has dropped even though it remains the chief addiction among older adults. The 2008 statistics show 59.9 percent of those 50 and older seeking treatment cited alcohol as their primary substance, down from 84.6 percent in 1992. Heroin came in second, accounting for 16 percent of admissions in that age group, more than double its share in the earlier survey. Cocaine was third, at 11.4 percent, more than four times its 1992 rate.

Surveys show the vast majority of older drug addicts and alcoholics reported first using their substance of choice many years earlier, like Dennis. That lifelong use can lead to liver damage, memory loss, hepatitis and a host of other medical issues. A minority of people find comfort in drugs and alcohol far later, fueled by drastic life changes, loneliness or legitimate physical pain.

Don Walsh, a participant at Hanley’s support group, falls into the latter category. He is among 19 men and women who gather on this day in the room with pale blue walls and the calming whir of a fish tank. One comes in a wheelchair, another with a walker; one dozes off during the session.

Walsh, a 77-year-old lawyer, says he didn’t develop a problem with alcohol until he retired a year ago. His relentless schedule of 12- to 14-hour days disappeared into a series of leisurely lunches and dinners where the wine flowed freely. One day, he blacked out in his garage. Had it happened while he was driving home, he thought, he might have killed himself and others.

After six weeks of treatment, Walsh says he no longer craves alcohol.

“I have a new lease on life,” he said.

RELATED ARTICLES:

Read about Al-Anon: The Critical Role of Al-Anon in Family Addiction Recovery

Drug Addiction and Alcoholism Recovery Resources for Friends, Families and Employers

Children of Alcoholics, Live in the middle of Life

Return from Baby Boomers and Elderly Seek Drug and Alcohol Treatment, to Changing Lives Foundation HOME

May 19, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

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Mom showing empathy for her addicted sonThis short article explains one of the most important (and one of our favorite) concepts. Dr. James Fay (Parenting Teens With Love and Logic) illustrates the simple approach–of showing empathy while remaining strong.

EMPATHY!

Consequences delivered with empathy create responsibility.
Consequences delivered without empathy create resentment.

So we have a choice: Will we raise responsible kids…or resentful ones?

Will we end up in a nice nursing home or a nasty one?

Understanding why empathy is the most important skill is simple. Empathy preserves the relationship and makes it very hard for our kids to blame us for their poor decisions.

Really using sincere empathy…on a consistent basis…is the hard part!

We’ve spent over two decades studying people who’ve been successful with this. What do they have in common? They use just one empathetic statement…regardless of what consequence they must provide.

That’s right. They keep it simple!

They also pick one that fits their personality and culture. Some folks always precede consequences with, “That is so sad.” Others prefer, “Oh, man…”

Some parents say, “What a bummer.” Others prefer, “Bless your heart.”

Tape this note on your bathroom mirror as a reminder.

Thanks for reading!
Dr. Charles Fay
Originally Published 7/15/09

Dr. Charles Fay©2009 Jim Fay, Charles Fay, Ph.D., and Love and Logic® Institute. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for photocopy reproduction and forwarding. Please do not alter or modify contents. For more information, call the Love and Logic® Institute, Inc. at (800) 338-4065 or www.loveandlogic.com

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Return from The Importance of Empathy to Drug Addiction Help Now Home

April 20, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

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Illegal Bath Salts“Just because something is not illegal does not mean it’s safe”

WASHINGTON (AP) — White House Drug Czar Gil Kerlikowske warned people Tuesday against taking the newest synthetic drugs, often marketed as “bath salts” and being sold legally on the Internet and in drug paraphernalia stores.

The powdered drugs are sold under such brand names as “Ivory Wave” or “Purple Wave.” Kerlikowske said synthetic stimulants in them have made hundreds of users across the country sick already this year. A Mississippi sheriff’s office has said the drugs are suspected in an apparent overdose death there.

“They pose a serious threat to the health and well-being of young people and anyone who uses them,” Kerlikowske said in a written statement. Read the entire article: Drug czar warns against taking “bath Salts” drugs

Also read:
Specialty “Bath Salts” linked to hospitalizations, suicides

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February 7, 2011 by jherzanek | 3 comments

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Arizona, the 15th State to legalize, Oooops, I mean to allow medical marijuana dispensaries in their State projects $40 million in tax revenue.

Doing the math on that means they expect sales of marijuana to be slightly over $600 million each year.

I guess Bob Dylan was right, at least concerning Arizona, “Everybody must get stoned.”

This would be funny if it weren’t such a tragic and stupid mistake.  )-:

~ Joe Herzanek


MEDICAL MARIJUANA TO BE TAXED IN ARIZONA

PHOENIX (AP) — Arizona soon will be taxing a new product — medical marijuana.

The tax on medical marijuana will be the same as taxing any other product in the state, whether it be candy or furniture.

Read entire article: Medical Marijuana to be taxed in Arizona.

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February 4, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

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William D. "Silky" Silkworth, MD

William D. "Silky" Silkworth, MD

This is the best description of the cause of relapse we have ever read. The following was published in the A.A. Grapevine, January 1947. Dr. Silkworth contributed the two letters included in “The Doctor’s Opinion” in the Big Book.

SLIPS AND HUMAN NATURE
By William D.”Silky” Silkworth, M.D.

The mystery of slips is not so deep as it may appear. While it does seem odd that an alcoholic, who has restored himself to a dignified place among his fellowmen and continues dry for years, should suddenly throw all his happiness overboard and find himself again in mortal peril of drowning in liquor, often the reason is simple.

People are inclined to say, “There is something peculiar about alcoholics. They seem to be well, yet at any moment they may turn back to their old ways. You can never be sure.”

This is largely twaddle. The alcoholic is a sick person. Under the technique of Alcoholics Anonymous he gets well—that is to say, his disease is arrested. There is nothing unpredictable about him any more than there is anything weird about a person who has arrested diabetes.

Continue reading: Relapse explained: “Slips and Human Nature”

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January 22, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

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Is an addict ever cured?IS AN ADDICT EVER CURED?
~ by Joe Herzanek

In today’s world in which more and more information is readily available, there seems to be more and more confusion regarding the topic of an “Addiction Cure.” Is there a cure for addiction? Some people would argue quite convincingly that there is.

I will point out that “even quitting use completely, for many years—does not mean that someone is cured.

You’ll probably read or hear information on this topic with various points of view. The concept of an addict who has been clean for years and years—not being cured—is a tough one to comprehend.

I recently received this letter (below) from a reader who presents his point of view. Please read it and then read my response to him. I believe you may hear and learn to discern some of the more subtle differences and truths regarding this baffling disease of addiction.
READ MORE: “Is an addict ever cured?”

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_________________________________________________________
Addiction Cure Addiction Cure Hoax Cure for Addiction

January 18, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

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Detachment in the Real World and The Monastery

St. Benedict

St. Benedict

Below is part of a newsletter that I receive weekly from a monk at a Monastery in New Mexico. The name of the monastery is, “Christ in the Desert.” I make an annual retreat there every year.

It’s very secluded—at the end of a thirteen mile dirt road. It was built in the 60′s by George Nakashima, famous Japanese-American woodworker and architect. The Monastery is “off the grid” and the adobe construction blends perfectly with the cactus and the high canyon walls that surround it. Cloistered together there are about twenty-five monks and rooms for another ten or so guests.

Abbot Philip’s message this week addresses the challenge of dealing with difficult people in our lives—people we cannot trust. Below is a portion of that newsletter. I think his words help us (family members) know how to best deal with someone in our lives who has shown (often over weeks, months and even years) that they cannot be trusted. I guess that even among the monks “every day is not a hot fudge sundae.”
~ Joe

THE PRACTICALITY OF CUTTING SOMEONE OUT OF ONE’S LIFE (AT LEAST FOR A TIME).
~ Excerpt from Abbot Philip’s newsletter

“. . . In the long-run, whatever we do—presuming that we allow such a person to remain in our lives—is going to require huge amounts of energy from us, so we must be prepared for that, if we choose to continue to relate to the person. READ MORE . . . (and to see photos of Christ in the Desert Monastery)

To read more on the subject of detachment, read Joe’s very popular article “Detachment. How Can I?

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_____________________________________________________________________________
Detachment Monastery Detachment Tough Love Detachment Monastery Detachment Tough Love

 

 

 

January 15, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

author/addiction counselor Joe Herzanek
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THE EFFECTIVENESS OF SUBOXONE IN THE TREATMENT OF OPIATE ADDICTION

For the past several months I have been receiving a lot of calls and emails from family members about their opiate addicted loved one. Opiates ranges from heroin, Oxycontin, methadone, vicodin and so on. These inquiries have lead to many questions about another drug that is supposed to help people get off these powerful opiate drugs. The name of that drug is Suboxone. I’ve read many articles on the effectiveness, or lack there of, of Suboxone. The attached link from the December 2010 issue of ‘Addiction Professional’ confirms what I have been saying for quite some time. Although this drug is/can be helpful for very short term use, it’s even more addictive than most people realize. And it too is an opiate based drug.

Anyone who has questions about this please read this article —Suboxone: concerns behind the miracle.

Best,

~Joe

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January 8, 2011 by jherzanek | 1 comment

Getting Them Sober
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Reprinted from the AOL-lauded  www.GettingThemSober.com website. Article copyrighted by Toby Rice Drews, author, the “Getting Them Sober” books.

IF ALCOHOLICS STOP GOING TO AA

I get so many phone calls from people saying “Yeah, he’s been to AA before, and he went for a week or two, or a month or so, and then he started slacking off meetings.” Now usually when they start doing that, it’s when they start feeling better. It gets to the point for many people that they start feeling really good (the program starts working), and unfortunately, instead of wanting more of it, they think they “got it,” and they don’t think they have to go to as many meetings. And so the problem is that they start doing other stuff because they feel good. They want to play “catch-up” — catch up their lives because of all the time they wasted.

And it looks good to the family. It fools everybody. It fools the alcoholic, it fools the family.
(to read the entire article: If Alcoholics Stop Going to AA)

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January 3, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

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Joe Herzanek gives Keynote Address at Co. Springs Drug Court GraduationOn Wednesday, October 20, 2010 Changing Lives Foundation/Joe Herzanek was honored to have the privilege of conducting the Keynote Address for the Adult Drug Treatment Court Graduation in Colorado Springs, CO.

During his address, Joe spoke of his (often humorous) past experiences, displaying a large “before photo” of himself, and ended the ceremony by leading the group in an emotional “pledge” —first recited by the new graduates, and followed by friends and family (see below). We have reprinted the feature article on this event that appeared recently in the Colorado Springs Gazette.

We received many great comments regarding the keynote address by Joe Herzanek at our Drug Court graduation ceremony. The attendees related to Mr. Herzanek’s personal experience on the road to addiction recovery and were encouraged by his long term success.  He made them laugh at some of his (and their) choices, and reached them with down to earth examples that hit home with their recovery challenges. We were pleased to have Joe speak at our graduation and hope to have him back again.

~ Marilyn Burnett/Program Manager: Adult Drug Treatment Court State of Colorado 4th Judicial District Court, Division 5L

Second chances: Drug Court helps people turn lives around

November 27, 2010
Barbara Cotter/The Gazette Photos by Mark Reis, The Gazette

Deanna Simmons chokes up as she grabs the microphone in the jury room of the Fourth Judicial District courthouse, but who can blame her? This is her night to graduate from Drug Court, and it represents a huge step in mending the life she shattered with her meth addiction.

“In this room, I had supervised visits with my son,” the 40-year-old woman tells a roomful of other Drug Court participants and their families. “Now, I get to take him home with me.”

The crowd applauds as Simmons returns to her seat and hugs her 12-year-old son and her mother.

It’s another success story for Drug Court, an 11-year-old program for people facing their first-ever felony drug charge. It relies on a team of two psychotherapists, two probation officers, a prosecutor from the District Attorney’s office and Magistrate Lisa Kirkman to assess the offenders’ issues and needs, equip them with a “toolbox” of coping strategies and plug them into services to help them get clean and stay that way.

“We wrap ’em up in services,” Kirkman says.

As of Oct. 19, 624 people had successfully completed the program, representing a graduation rate of about 76 percent. The graduates are rewarded with dismissal of the charge that got them into Drug Court in the first place. If they can stay clean for two years after graduation and undergo aftercare for the first of those two years, they can even get their records sealed.

But the biggest reward goes beyond their status with the legal system. They leave with a sense of accomplishment, higher self-esteem, a much healthier body, a set of coping tools and the prospect of a rosier future, the Drug Court team says.

“It’s changed my life,” says 32-year-old Bonnie Norris, a habitual meth user and mother of an 11-year-old daughter. “My goals are to graduate, stay sober, raise my daughter without drugs, move up in my job and get my GED.” She eventually wants to be a crime scene investigator.

Four “strikes” allowed

For Simmons, Norris and the 120 or so others in the program at any given time, Kirkman’s courtroom is a place of second chances. And third.

And even more.

Joe Herzanek displays "before" photo at Co. Springs Drug Court Graduation

Joe Herzanek displays "before" photo at Co. Springs Drug Court Graduation

We never lose hope in Drug Court,” says Kirkman.

Magistrate Lisa Kirkman claps for the 100 days of sobriety for Drug Court participant Kathrin Bueche Wednesday, October 20, 2010.

Magistrate Lisa Kirkman claps for the 100 days of sobriety for Drug Court participant Kathrin Bueche Wednesday, October 20, 2010.

Most participants can finish the program in a year as they pass through three phases that require several commitments: random drug tests, meetings with probation officers, regularly scheduled court appearances and the presentation of a “life plan” after the last phase.

They’re allowed up to four “strikes” — mistakes — in the first two phases, and one in the third.

Even that isn’t hard and fast, however, because the DA can combine strikes “and give more opportunity to people,” Kirkman says.

“I had five strikes in my first three weeks. I wasn’t taking it seriously,” says 25-year-old Chelsea Oubre, who expects to be in the next group of graduates.

“I kept using. I went back to jail.”

Jail is the consequence for the more egregious violations, such as a missed or “hot” urinalysis tests.

Other violations, such as missing a treatment group, might bring a requirement for public service and electronic home monitoring.

“One of the reasons Drug Court works is that consequences for behavior are immediate and swift,” the program material states.

But Kirkman says the strike system isn’t front and center in the program.

“It’s not so focused on strikes as it is on accountability, honesty and success,” she says.

Ironically, Kirkman was once known as “lock ’em up Lisa,” a reference to her success rate as a prosecutor, which included the prosecution of many drug crimes.

She helped launch Drug Court in 1999 and served as prosecutor, then was appointed magistrate.

She left the position for two years to go back to the DA’s Office, but then returned to being magistrate.

“I really like to see people changing their lives; I like to be part of the solution,” says Kirkman, who has four children, including a set of twins.

And so she goes to extraordinary lengths to keep these first-time drug offenders out of lockup, and she does it with a velvet hammer.

Her courtroom is a place where applause breaks out at any piece of good news. Oubre announces she’s pregnant.

Applause.

One man says he’s been drug-free for 10 months.

Applause.

Someone else has come up with productive ways to combat the boredom that would ordinarily have sent him running for a high.

More applause.

But it’s not just the supportive atmosphere of Kirkman’s courtroom that sets it apart from many others. It’s her approach — part concerned

mother, part savvy social worker, part humorist, part cheerleader, part stern but loving teacher — that she uses with each person who steps up for his or her case review.

“Remember: Mistakes are for learning,” she tells one man who messed up and received a “strike.” “What did you learn from your mistake?”

“Don’t hang out with those people no more,” he says with a grin.

“That would be like me hanging out in a bakery,” she responds, drawing a laugh from everyone in the

Deputy state public defender Carrie Lynn Thompson, right, listens as David Jones talks about charges he faces during an appearance in Drug Court

Deputy state public defender Carrie Lynn Thompson, right, listens as David Jones talks about charges he faces during an appearance in Drug Court

courtroom. “It would be ugly.”

Another man is about to move up into another phase of the program, but Kirkman looks at his charts and notices he has a legal issue to clear up: He was throwing things at cars.

“You’re not going to do that again, are you?” she says. Then she tells him the prosecutor is going to look into having the charge related to the offense dropped, so it won’t affect his status in Drug Court.

“That’s a huge gift,” Kirkman tells him. “Remember: An instant decision can change your whole future.”

Recognizing the individual

The parade of people continues its march in front of Kirkman’s bench, where a sign behind her reads “Justice with Heart.”

She asks about their children, and what character the kids will be for Halloween.

She notices improvements in their physical appearance, and keeps encouraging them, even those who show up in orange jail suits because they’ve failed a drug test or done something else to incur a strike.

She passes along phone numbers of treatment providers, asks family members if they can afford medical expenses, makes a note to follow up on dental care for Bonnie Norris, whose teeth are missing, though not from meth.

Kirkman believes it’s imperative to make sure participants are covered on the basics, including health care.

“Safe housing, food and water — we focus on these three first,” she says.

“Then, when they’re sober, we work on their health. They’re encouraged to see doctors and get their bodies healthy.”

Because many of the people are on the lower end of the economic scale and don’t have health insurance, the Drug Court team works with organizations to address their physical and mental health needs and get them medications.

They work with sobering houses to find people a supportive, drug-free place to live.

They’ve hooked up with an organization that arranges outdoors activities for people trying to stay off drugs and alcohol.

“Just about anything we can think of that will help, we try to plug into,” Kirkman says.

A huge component of the program is the team approach to handling each case.

Kirkman, prosecutor Judy Haller and DA volunteer Leticia Cisneros, therapists Gregory Ortega and Laura Fetters, and probation officers Jennifer Jones and Mike Hernandez meet regularly to discuss each Drug Court participant, what obstacles the person might be facing, and what he or she might need to succeed.

Most team members have been with Drug Court for at least four years, and they operate like a well-oiled machine.

“They have a very strong team that’s cohesive,” says Carrie Thompson, head of the Office of the Colorado State Public Defender office here.

“It’s been enlightening to see how they can work as a team, because that’s a concept that’s not in the regular court system.”

No easy process

Despite the best efforts of the team, about two in 10 people fail the Drug Court program, and they end up with a felony conviction, the result of a plea bargain they entered to get into the program. (Read about long-term studies on drug courts here.)

Team members also know some people will slip up after graduation, although they haven’t extensively tracked anyone long term.

“I think we can all think of a few cases where someone relapsed,” Haller says.

“That’s the reality of addiction,” Kirkman adds.

Still, they hope that the graduates will commit to long-term sobriety, but they know it’s not easy.

People often have to change their circle of friends, their routines, their whole reality. “It’s brutal,” Haller says.

 

Drug Court Graduate's Pledge

Drug Court Graduate's Pledge. ~By Joe Herzanek (click image for larger view)

But those who stick with it — and even some who are getting their first blush of sobriety through Drug Court — start to see the possibilities of a drug-free life.

“There’s a lot of drama, a lot of turmoil, chasing a bag,” says 45-year-old Gary Daily Jr., who used meth for 30 years before cleaning up nine months ago and is moving into the third phase of the program.

“I feel at peace. I still have my moments of life that are not always joyful, but I deal with it in different ways.”

If he graduates, he’ll get to go up to the podium at the next graduation ceremony, as Deanna Simmons and about a dozen other people did one evening last month, and go through the rites of passage.

He’ll hug Kirkman and, perhaps, some of the team members who are sitting off to the side, applauding his accomplishments.

He might say a few words of encouragement to the crowd, as several of the graduates did.

And Kirkman will give him a parting gift: his booking photo.

____________________________________________

To contact Joe Herzanek for Family Workshops, speaking engagements or one-on-one phone counseling:
Call: 303.775.6493 or Email Changing Lives Foundation: jherzanek@gmail.com

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December 15, 2010 by jherzanek | No comments

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Home from RehabThey’re BAAaaack! What should you do when he comes back from treatment?

What Now?
When the recovering person comes home from treatment, the real journey is about to begin. They have just been immersed in a crash course—Everything you need to know about addiction and how to live substance free. Coming home is an important event. How successfully will your husband apply his newfound wisdom? Will your friend be able to make a lasting change now that she is back in the real world?  Remember, they just left a safe place where they made friends and received daily encouragement—and now they are back, facing many of  the harsh realities of life.

Most likely, your loved one will feel a real sense of accomplishment, having successfully completed the program. Having confidence that he can start a new life is a good thing. At the same time, however, he is about to receive his first dose of reality. Now all the knowledge he gained about recovery must be practically lived out. He is going to have a myriad of questions: How do I tell old friends about my new life? How are they going to react? How am I going to react if they aren’t supportive of my new lifestyle? Will I have the strength? What will I say? Who should I see and who should I avoid? What do I need to start doing right now to avoid using again? Where will I find a new group to belong to? What if I don’t find a group of people I like? How hard do I have to work to stay away from alcohol or drugs? Do I have what it takes to do this?

Seek Support
All recovering addicts must decide what they need to do to continue their lives in recovery with success and then follow through with action—all by themselves. In light of their own circumstances, only they can take the next step. Obviously many people and groups can be helpful, but it’s the individual that must decide to seek out the support that will make his commitment to change successful. This needs to happen soon. Some form of support will be needed to keep this recovery ball rolling, whether it’s AA, NA, an outpatient group, or counseling. This period of time, when the person has just returned home, is when all the talk and good intentions need to turn into positive action.

It should not take long to determine the sincerity of the recovering person. Actions speak louder than words, and no one successfully recovers alone. How much and how long the person makes use of outside support will depend on the situation, but everyone will need some form of support as they adjust to life on life’s terms.

What to Do
So as a family member or friend, what do you do? If possible, anticipate this situation by meeting with treatment staff for sound advice before your loved one comes home. This can be a time to debrief and get answers to some of your questions. Try not to be overly self-conscious about what you do or say to the person returning home. You don’t need to be walking on eggshells. Talking about recovery and encouraging someone is a good thing. By the same token, recovery shouldn’t dominate all discussions. The process is just beginning, and you should give it time. The recovering person is trying to build a new life—one they can call normal. The more they see that life can be normal without using, and that they can deal successfully with everyday situations, the more motivated and encouraged they will be to continue with sober living. It may take time, but it does become easier.

When I returned home after treatment, I was both confident and scared at the same time. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but it’s true. I was having an internal battle: part of me believed that I would do whatever it took to stay away from drugs, but another part of me wasn’t sure about the “do whatever it takes” strategy that we had discussed in treatment. My family knew it wasn’t going to be easy. For the most part, they left me alone. When they saw that I made the effort to go to work and regularly attend my group meetings, the atmosphere gradually grew more relaxed. They saw that I was moving in the right direction and seemed to discern that it was okay to trust me. I’m glad they gave me some space. I guess they knew they didn’t have the answers I needed anyway. Only another recovering person can really understand what it’s like, so my parents and family could not fully put themselves in my situation. Their ability to understand what I was going through was limited, yet I needed their support.  This is when I began to spend a lot of time with other recovering people.

Not everyone will be able to go to a residential treatment center; therefore, recovery will look a little different in such cases. It will mean attending a lot of evening and weekend groups. A healthy level of busyness can help ensure sobriety. Work and recovery should be the two main priorities for those in recovery. If your loved one is not working, then that means they should spend more time attending groups. Idle time can be a strong temptation to revert to old habits.

For families in this recovery situation, encouraging the recovering addict to continue with his new life and not give up will take a great deal of patience. Because the user has not been totally removed from his life setting, it may take longer for him to become strong. Remember, you have a limited understanding of addiction and recovery, so attending some Al-Anon or “open” AA meetings would be an excellent idea. This will give you more knowledge about what your loved one might be going through. In addition, these meetings are a way for people in similar situations to connect and give one another support and advice. Attending these meetings is also a huge sign of support from you to your friend or loved one.

In some cases, it would benefit the recovering person to temporarily relocate. If they can live with a relative or friend for a few months, it will give them a chance to concentrate on their recovery without the pressures of dealing with old buddies, bad influences, and triggers that can cause a relapse.

If you have been a positive influence in this person’s life, continue that support. However, you will need to provide a healthy balance of support. Don’t smother them with an unusual amount of concern, as this will make them feel self-conscious. On the other hand, don’t distance yourself, because you may be afraid and unsure how to act around them. Be yourself. Help them to see that life without using can be fun. They may have been afraid of losing all their friends, including you. Be a friend. Good friends who don’t use are what they need.

It won’t take long to figure out how serious your loved one is about their new life. Their attitude will be one indication of how they are adjusting. Admitting complete defeat in the face of addiction is a humbling experience. In my case, life in recovery meant acting differently than I did before: striving to listen to others without overreacting, and learning how to be patient. This again is a process that takes time. Some moodiness should be expected, but if it persists it needs to be addressed, as it could be a sign of too much stress. It could also be a result of the void created by not using, sadness from losing old friends, and abandoning an old lifestyle that defined who they were.

There will be some peaks and valleys in early recovery. Remember: If relapse occurs, don’t be too harsh. Rather, be concerned about the next step they need to take. If your struggling friend gets right back to their recovery program, then stay as optimistic as possible. And when they fall down, help them to get back up and moving in the right direction. Remember, recovery is a process, and your relationship with your friend or loved one can greatly impact their desire to stay on course and make the right choices.

This article excerpted from Part 4/Life in Recovery: Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Addiction Counselor Joe Herzanek

Addiction Counselor and Interventionist Joe Herzanek

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Your situation may be unique, but it’s not hopeless.
We specialize in those tough, “seemingly impossible” situations.

There IS a solution. Together we can formulate a plan to restore sanity to your life—saving you and your family time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache.

Learn more about personalized consultations and professional intervention services
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Drug Addiction Statistics

December 7, 2010 by jherzanek | No comments

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DEA BannerMARIJUANA: THE FACTS


Q: Does marijuana pose health risks to users?

  • Marijuana is an addictive drug1with significant health consequences to its users and others. Many harmful short-term and long-term problems have been documented with its use:
  • The short term effects of marijuana use includes: memory loss, distorted perception, trouble with thinking and problem solving, loss of motor skills, decrease in muscle strength, increased heart rate, and anxiety2.
  • In recent years there has been a dramatic increase in the number of emergency room mentions of marijuana use. From 1993-2000, the number of emergency room marijuana mentions more than tripled.
  • There are also many long-term health consequences of marijuana use. According to the National Institutes of Health, studies show that someone who smokes five joints per week may be taking in as many cancer-causing chemicals as someone who smokes a full pack of cigarettes every day.
  • Marijuana contains more than 400 chemicals, including most of the harmful substances found in tobacco smoke. Smoking one marijuana cigarette deposits about four times more tar into the lungs than a filtered tobacco cigarette.
  • Harvard University researchers report that the risk of a heart attack is five times higher than usual in the hour after smoking marijuana.3
  • Smoking marijuana also weakens the immune system4 and raises the risk of lung infections.5 A Columbia University study found that a control group smoking a single marijuana cigarette every other day for a year had a white-blood-cell count that was 39 percent lower than normal, thus damaging the immune system and making the user far more susceptible to infection and sickness.6
  • Users can become dependent on marijuana to the point they must seek treatment to stop abusing it. In 1999, more than 200,000 Americans entered substance abuse treatment primarily for marijuana abuse and dependence.
  • More teens are in treatment for marijuana use than for any other drug or for alcohol. Adolescent admissions to substance abuse facilities for marijuana grew from 43 percent of all adolescent admissions in 1994 to 60 percent in 1999.
  • Marijuana is much stronger now than it was decades ago. According to data from the Potency Monitoring Project at the University of Mississippi, the tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) content of commercial-grade marijuana rose from an average of 3.71 percent in 1985 to an average of 5.57 percent in 1998. The average THC content of U.S. produced sinsemilla increased from 3.2 percent in 1977 to 12.8 percent in 1997.7

Q. Does marijuana have any medical value?

  • Any determination of a drug’s valid medical use must be based on the best available science undertaken by medical professionals. The Institute of Medicine conducted a comprehensive study in 1999 to assess the potential health benefits of marijuana and its constituent cannabinoids. The study concluded that smoking marijuana is not recommended for the treatment of any disease condition. In addition, there are more effective medications currently available. For those reasons, the Institute of Medicine concluded that there is little future in smoked marijuana as a medically approved medication.8
  • Advocates have promoted the use of marijuana to treat medical conditions such as glaucoma. However, this is a good example of more effective medicines already available. According to the Institute of Medicine, there are six classes of drugs and multiple surgical techniques that are available to treat glaucoma that effectively slow the progression of this disease by reducing high intraocular pressure.
  • In other studies, smoked marijuana has been shown to cause a variety of health problems, including cancer, respiratory problems, increased heart rate, loss of motor skills, and increased heart rate. Furthermore, marijuana can affect the immune system by impairing the ability of T-cells to fight off infections, demonstrating that marijuana can do more harm than good in people with already compromised immune systems.9
  • In addition, in a recent study by the Mayo Clinic, THC was shown to be less effective than standard treatments in helping cancer patients regain lost appetites.10

  • The DEA supports research into the safety and efficacy of THC (the major psychoactive component of marijuana), and such studies are ongoing, supported by grants from the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
  • As a result of such research, a synthetic THC drug, Marinol, has been available to the public since 1985. The Food and Drug Administration has determined that Marinol is safe, effective, and has therapeutic benefits for use as a treatment for nausea and vomiting associated with cancer chemotherapy, and as a treatment of weight loss in patients with AIDS. However, it does not produce the harmful health effects associated with smoking marijuana.
  • Furthermore, the DEA recently approved the University of California San Diego to undertake rigorous scientific studies to assess the safety and efficacy of cannabis compounds for treating certain debilitating medical conditions.
  • It’s also important to realize that the campaign to allow marijuana to be used as medicine is a tactical maneuver in an overall strategy to completely legalize all drugs. Pro-legalization groups have transformed the debate from decriminalizing drug use to one of compassion and care for people with serious diseases. The New York Times interviewed Ethan Nadelman, Director of the Lindesmith Center, in January 2000. Responding to criticism from former Drug Czar Barry McCaffrey that the medical marijuana issue is a stalking-horse for drug legalization, Mr. Nadelman did not contradict General McCaffrey. “Will it help lead toward marijuana legaization?” Mr. Nadelman said: “I hope so.”

Q. Does marijuana harm anyone besides the individual who smokes it?

  • Consider the public safety of others when confronted with intoxicated drug users:
  • Marijuana affects many skills required for safe driving: alertness, the ability to concentrate, coordination, and reaction time. These effects can last up to 24 hours after smoking marijuana. Marijuana use can make it difficult to judge distances and react to signals and signs on the road.11
  • In a 1990 report, the National Transportation Safety Board studied 182 fatal truck accidents. It found that just as many of the accidents were caused by drivers using marijuana as were caused by alcohol — 12.5 percent in each case.
  • Consider also that drug use, including marijuana, contributes to crime. A large percentage of those arrested for crimes test positive for marijuana. Nationwide, 40 percent of adult males tested positive for marijuana at the time of their arrest.

Q. Is marijuana a gateway drug?

  • Yes. Among marijuana’s most harmful consequences is its role in leading to the use of other illegal drugs like heroin and cocaine. Long-term studies of students who use drugs show that very few young people use other illegal drugs without first trying marijuana. While not all people who use marijuana go on to use other drugs, using marijuana sometimes lowers inhibitions about drug use and exposes users to a culture that encourages use of other drugs.
  • The risk of using cocaine has been estimated to be more than 104 times greater for those who have tried marijuana than for those who have never tried it.12

In Summary:

  • Marijuana is a dangerous, addictive drug that poses significant health threats to users.
  • Marijuana has no medical value that can’t be met more effectively by legal drugs.
  • Marijuana users are far more likely to use other drugs like cocaine and heroin than non-marijuana users.
  • Drug legalizers use “medical marijuana” as red herring in effort to advocate broader legalization of drug use.1Herbert Kleber, Mitchell Rosenthal, “Drug Myths from Abroad: Leniency is Dangerous, not Compassionate” Foreign Affairs Magazine, September/October 1998. Drug Watch International “NIDA Director cites Studies that Marijuana is Addictive.” “Research Finds Marijuana is Addictive,” Washington Times, July 24, 1995.
    2National Institue of Drug Abuse, Journal of the American Medical Association, Journal of Clinical Phamacology, International Journal of Clinical Pharmacology and Therapeutics, Pharmacology Review.
    3“Marijuana and Heart Attacks” Washington Post, March 3, 2000
    4I. B. Adams and BR Martin, “Cannabis: Pharmacology and Toxicology in Animals and Humans” Addiction 91: 1585-1614. 1996.
    5National Institute of Drug Abuse, “Smoking Any Substance Raises Risk of Lung Infections” NIDA Notes, Volume 12, Number 1, January/February 1997.
    6Dr. James Dobson, “Marijuana Can Cause Great Harm” Washington Times, February 23, 1999.
    72000 National Drug Control Strategy Annual Report, page 13.
    8“Marijuana and Medicine: Assessing the Science Base,” Institute of Medicine, 1999.
    9See footnotes in response to question 4 regarding marijuana’s short and long term health effects.
    10“Marijuana Appetite Boost Lacking in Cancer Study” The New York Times, May 13, 2001.
    11Marijuana: Facts Parents Need to Know, National Institute on Drug Abuse, National Institutes of Health.
    12Marijuana: Facts Parents Need to Know, National Institute on Drug Abuse, National Institutes of Health.

Reprinted from http://www.justice.gov

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Marijuana Myths  Smoked Medical Marijuana  Marijuana Dangers Marijuana Myths  Smoked Medical Marijuana  Marijuana Dangers

November 16, 2010 by jherzanek | 6 comments

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