Articles by jherzanek

I live in Boulder, CO (actually Longmont), a “sort of” new empty nester, 2 kids (Jake 23 and Jess 21), both in college. I went to Green Mtn. College for one year, transferred to Columbus College of Art & Design, was recruited by Hallmark Cards (Kansas City), worked there 12 years, got married, after husband left me, got divorced, realized I was alcoholic, got sober, met husband Joe at AA meeting, moved to CO, been here and been sober 27 years. Worked as Art Director @ Celestial Seasonings for 16 years, laid off in ’06, now Dir. Creative Development and Marketing for Changing Lives Foundation and have own business E-NewsHelp! designing email newsletters. Life is good!!!!

Q Is it okay for a recovering addict
to smoke pot?

A. No

This has also been referred to as the “marijuana maintenance plan.”
Regardless of what a person’s past drugs of choice were, smoking pot
during recovery is a very bad idea.

Many people who have tried this have ended up with one of two results:
the same lack of control and abuse problem with smoking pot, or a return to their drug of choice.
Drug users tend to make poor choices while under the influence
of any mind-altering drug. Good intentions fly out the window when
any use begins.

This is actually just an attempt to continue using something—
anything—rather than remain substance free. In order to set the record straight and make this simple, below are questions I am asked over and over, and I’ve included the answers I give over and over.
Our persistent attempts to find a loophole can be quite
humorous at times!

Q Is it okay to smoke some weed once
in a while?

A. No

Q If I was a heroin addict and I quit that drug
completely, is it okay to just smoke some weed?

A. No

Q If I’m a recovering alcoholic, is it okay to
smoke some weed?

A. No

Q I’m in recovery, but since weed is found to
grow naturally in many places, is it okay
to just smoke weed?

A. No

Q Since weed is not really a drug, is it okay to
smoke some weed?

A. No

Q I heard about a guy in recovery that smokes
weed. Do you think I might be able to?

A. No

Q There is an organization called NORMAL.
If a group like this is able to get marijuana legalized,
do you think I could just smoke weed?

A. No

Q I’ve heard about smoking “medical marijuana” for people
with health problems. What’s up with this?

A. This is one really bad idea.

Supposedly for pain relief, it is now possible to get a medical marijuana
(MM) card. The typical MM card-holder is a twenty-three-year-old
male. Even if it were true that we have high numbers of young males
with chronic pain—smoking marijuana for “medical reasons” is still a
mistake. First of all, it is very easy to just extract the active ingredient,
THC, and use it in pill-form. Why inhale the smoke into the lungs, other
than to get the quicker rush, or “high” the drug produces?

Secondly, this is one more way of throwing our hands up in the air and saying
“People are just going to get stoned and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Do we, as a nation, want to make it easier for young people to get stoned? Personaly, I don’t think so. Lastly, marijuana addiction is number three on the list of reasons people seek treatment. The first is alcohol, second is for
opiates (pain meds) and then marijuana. After these three, come cocaine, and methamphetamine.

“We owe it to the people we serve to speak out
about the unintended consequences legalization (of
marijuana) would have and the toll it would take on the
health and safety of our communities.”
“Over the course of my career, from St. Petersburg
to Seattle, I learned a lot about the damage drug abuse
does to the fabric of our society—and about the terrible
toll it takes on individuals, families and communities
across this country,” Kerlikowske told his former peers.
“I’ll never forget the rage and despair I felt when I
worked undercover and I saw a drug dealer take a hit of
marijuana—and then blow the smoke in the face of his toddler.”

~Gil Kerlikowske, Director, Office of National Drug Control Policy
(comments from a speech given at the International Conference of Chiefs of Police Annual Convention, October 23, 2009).

This “Q & A with Joe” is excerpted from Part 5 of “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”

NEED HELP NOW?
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

MORE ASK JOE:
>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”

>Should my husband “back off?”

Sign up for our Free Changing Lives E-Newsletter!

okay for recovering addict to smoke pot okay to smoke pot okay for recovering addict to smoke pot
okay to smoke pot okay to smoke weed

February 16, 2012 by jherzanek | 5 comments

How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

February 14, 2012 by jherzanek | 2 comments

Q How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

A. It is almost impossible to tell when someone has crossed
this line.

What you will be able to see, however, are the signs of dependency.
Sometimes these signs will be subtle and other times they’ll be more
obvious.

Here are a few questions regarding behavioral signs that may
signal dependency:
• Has this person’s attitude changed?
• Are they using daily?
• Are they unable to control how much they are using?
• Are they defensive about their using?

• Has work or school performance declined?
• How long has this persisted? Do they try to hide their use?
• Have they lost interest in people or activities that were once
important to them?

Beyond these, there may be more obvious signs such as legal problems,
DUIs, or frequent job changes. Seeking advice from a professional
is always a good idea. You may also take a self-test. It you’re
concerned about this person, you probably know him or her fairly well.
Take the self-test for alcoholism/drug addiction found on our Changing Lives Foundation website and answer as if you were your friend or loved one. See how well you score.

This “Q & A with Joe” is excerpted from Part 5 of “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”

NEED HELP NOW?
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

MORE ASK JOE:
>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”

>Should my husband “back off?”

Sign up for our Free Changing Lives E-Newsletter!

addict/alcoholic or heavy user alcoholic or heavy user addict or heavy user

Tags: AA, addict or heavy user, addict/alcoholic, addicted spouse, addicted teen, addiction books, addicts help, alanon, alanon group, alanon help, alcoholic or heavy user, drug use help, help for family of addicts, how to help a drug addict, how to help an addict, Self-test for alcoholism, Why Don't they Just Quit

Raising the Bottom?

February 12, 2012 by jherzanek | 3 comments

Joe Herzanek, Author, Addiction Counselor and Interventionist

Rock Bottom, Raising the Bottom
or Tough Love?

After speaking to and emailing hundreds of parents, spouses and other family members, I know this is a lot easier said, than done. Raising the bottom is especially difficult for mothers and is one of the reasons I wrote the book Why Don’t They JUST QUIT? — to get the message to as many as possible.

Exactly what do I mean by “raising the bottom”? This whole idea of “hitting bottom” is out of date. Some people will wait years–even decades–for their friend to reach this mythical point in their alcohol and drug use. But why wait for them to “hit bottom”? Why not help them by raising their bottom? There are ways to encourage someone to reach for help much earlier. In doing so, we can avoid a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache and maybe even save their life. For some people, hitting bottom will be six feet underground.

So does everyone have to hit rock bottom? I would say no. Tough love can prevent a substance abuser from prolonging their usage. There are loving ways to refuse to rescue someone that in the long run will help him or her to choose recovery. Loving means doing the right thing to help. This can take all of our strength and energy at times. “We all hate to see someone suffer even when the suffering is a consequence of their bad choices. This approach, or some form of it, is something you might consider: Raise the bottom. Whether it is a teenage son or daughter, a spouse, boyfriend, aunt or uncle, the same principles can apply. A few nights in jail could be the best thing that ever happens to them. The next time this person you care about appeals to you to get them out of a bind (loan them money, pay their electric bill, buy them gas, pay for a lawyer), think twice. You just might be prolonging their disease and robbing them of the natural consequences that they need to experience in order to seek help and begin to connect the dots.

I receive a lot of mail from family members who are searching for “Al-anon type” answers and information. Here’s a typical email and my response (I’ve changed the name and some of the details to protect the identity of this woman).

Dear Joe,
I have just ordered Why Don’t They JUST QUIT? as my last resort to get off the emotional rollercoaster my alcoholic husband has put me on! He has been an alcoholic since he was a teenager. It’s like living with Jekyl & Hyde! The physical & emotional rollercoaster is killing me. He has been incarcerated about 4 times and was in many different programs for alcohol, at least 5 or 6. He drives while drinking, and gambles when he drinks. I could go on forever. I constantly walk on eggshells and don’t know how much more I can handle. This book is my last resort before I suffer a mental breakdown.

Thanks Joe,
Sarah

Hi Sarah,
Thanks for your email. Sorry to hear about your current struggle. Your life does not have to be this way! The book will definitely help and give you some insights on the addiction problem. The difficult part will be sticking with the tough love that is necessary to motivate your husband to begin recovery. You can do it and so can he.

I don’t know your entire situation, but the number one issue must be dealt with, and that is HIS alcohol and or drug use.

Keep that in mind. You didn’t cause this problem and you can’t control or cure it. What you can do is confront it and perhaps give ultimatums. You can force him to see the light or feel the heat.

At some point he needs to choose which relationship is the most important–his relationship with you or his relationship with alcohol. Let him know there is a high cost to continue his current way of living. The pain of consequences is often the best teacher.

Hang in there.
Joe

NEED HELP NOW?
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

ASK JOE:
>Son needs $75 for drug dealer of he’ll be “killed for sure.”

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”

>Should my husband “back off?”

Sign up for our Free Changing Lives E-Newsletter!

Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abreviations

Return from Raising the Bottom? ~by Joe Herzanek, to Blog Home

_______________________________________________________________________
Rock Bottom Raising the Bottom Tough Love Rock Bottom Raising the Bottom Tough Love

Tags: addict, addicted, addicted spouse, addiction, addiction recovery, addictions, addicts, Al-Anon, Al-Anon Books, Al-Anon literature, alanon, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, award-winning, book reviews, books, bottom, care, cocaine, consequences, families, family, friends, help, Herzanek, hit bottom, hitting bottom, Indie Award, just quit, parent, quit, recovering, recovery, rock bottom, Self-Help Books, success stories, Why Don't they Just Quit

TRAPpED: Memoirs of an EX-METH addict

February 12, 2012 by jherzanek | 1 comment

TRAPpED: Memoirs of an EX-METH addict and her RECOVERY out of the insanity of it all

At the age of 14, a girl barely cognizant of responsibility, safety or survival, Lori L. Stephens was thrown out into the street by her mother. This would be the beginning of a life no one deserves to endure, ever.

With nowhere to go, confused and frightened beyond comprehension, she settled in inside of a small washroom of a condo complex. Curled up as small as she could make herself, she lay abandoned, with only her pillow case filled with a few clothes. What happened next can only be adequately described in the pages within, and this was only the beginning.

Through her struggle to stay alive in a world she barely understood, with no lessons about life or warnings, with non-existent parents from a broken home, without support and encouragement or life experiences that might help in understanding right from wrong, good from bad, safety from danger, this young girl met adversity headlong, with no recourse at her disposal.

The memoirs of the next 30 years of her life of drug abuse, with METHAMPHETAMINES as her mainstay, physical violence, rape, conflict with the Law…, are described profoundly in this book. Also, the courage, the will to stay alive, the guts to persevere through an impossible road out of the toughest trap from which one might ever have to escape, Lori Stephens overcomes impossible adversity.

And in result, this woman’s strength to overcome “and her heroism to help others do the same can only inspire and encourage every person in their daily lives. This is something to be shared and cheered about, because we all win when someone beats impossible odds. Through their examples, we, ourselves, become fortified and empowered to overcome; we become more willing to help; we become more excited about living life!

This woman’s story will amaze you. It will make you realize so many things about yourself. And it will likely be something that you carry with you, for inspiration, for the rest of your life.

Click here to read more about this author and order

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about individual counseling with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

EX-METH addict meth memoirs EX-METH addict meth memoirs EX-METH addict meth memoirs

Tags: EX-METH addict, meth memoirs

Pain Meds Cause More Pain! The new silent epidemic.

This article excerpted from the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.” by Joe Herzanek

Technology is wonderful—up to a point. The medical and pharmaceutical industries have made huge advances to help those suffering from all sorts of diseases. Most of these advances are genuine lifesavers.

Americans are enjoying longer and higher quality lives—so much so, that we have come to expect many things as normal (diseases cured, symptoms gone and less pain for those suffering the debilitating affects of certain health problems).

Much Too Popular
One class of drugs—opiate painkillers, has become much too popular. These meds will not only relieve physical pain but will also give the user a pleasant euphoric effect at the same time. For a significant and growing number of people this euphoric state of mind is becoming more and more difficult to let go of (similar to the popularity of Valium in the 70′s—which by the way, has been recently increasing as well).

So how and why is this happening? How do pain meds cause even more pain? Let me start by saying that these drugs are very necessary for genuine pain—such as pain experienced after a surgery, broken bones, dental work and more. When used as prescribed, for short periods of time these drugs make life manageable. In some very rare cases they may be appropriate for extended periods of time—especially when a person has a terminal disease. A very small percentage of people fall into this category. Thank God for these medications.

The majority of people who take these medications do not fall in this group. Here is where the problem starts. Rarely does anyone start out to become dependent on opiate pain meds. It happens slowly without being noticed. This is an insidious process. Usually, there comes a time when a person’s physical pain is gone. With regular use of painkilling drugs, the central nervous system has come to expect the drug and the sedative affect it produces—as normal.

Withdrawal
When a person stops using the drug, the body revolts. This is called withdrawal. It’s normal. Much less extreme, but nonetheless similar, a heavy coffee drinker who suddenly quits drinking coffee altogether will experience headaches for a few days. This is because their central nervous system has become accustomed to regular jolts of caffeine throughout the day. Withdrawal from caffeine is usually short-lived and not too difficult. Stopping opiate pain meds is similar, but much, much more intense. The withdrawal symptoms are often very painful—so much so that the person will start to think that their pain is not really gone and they must get and take more pain meds.

A Vicious Cycle
Not only is the body expecting this drug, but a person who is taking pain medication is also building a tolerance to it. Their body is requiring more, sometimes lots more—to feel better. This is a vicious cycle that feeds on itself and only gets worse over time. The person taking theses drugs will also become much more sensitive to all pain—as the normal ability to handle mild pain with over-the-counter medications is now diminished.

I’ve recently watched this problem arise close to home, as a family member needed surgery. He had been regularly taking large amounts of pain meds for back pain. While in the hospital for knee-replacement surgery, he found that he required a much larger dosage of pain meds than a normal person would need. After he was given the maximum safe dosage—excruciating pain still persisted. One feels helpless in these situations.

To ensure that this doesn’t happen, pain meds really should only be used when truly needed. Otherwise, when the time comes that a person genuinely needs them—these pain-relieving drugs may not work at all.

How large is this problem really? In 2007 there were a total of 3.7 billion prescriptions written in the United States. 182 million were for pain meds*! I have double-checked these numbers because I thought they couldn’t be correct. Pain meds are second only to prescriptions written for lowering cholesterol (192 million prescriptions). Anti-depressant prescriptions came in third with 158 million.

If you subtract people aged 21 and under from these numbers—that leaves 230 million adults. According to these calculations, over 15 million people are taking opiate pain medications every day. This is 5% of the entire adult population.

Do all these people need opiate pain medication every day? The only way to know for sure is to quit, go through withdrawal and see how you feel after a few months—drug-free. More and more people are unwilling to go through this process. Today, addiction to opiate pain medications is one of the main reasons people are checking into rehab centers.

So how does one avoid becoming dependant on pain medications? And once a person has become dependant on them, how do they learn to safely quit?

Return from Pain Meds Cause More Pain! The new silent epidemic to Drug Addiction Help Now Home

Effects of Addiction

* IMS Health Services (2007 Research Statistics)

February 12, 2012 by jherzanek | 6 comments

How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling me the truth?

February 11, 2012 by jherzanek | 2 comments

Q How can I know if my addicted friend or
loved one is telling me the truth?

A. Most of the time, you can’t.

There is no hard and fast test for honesty in a person—especially a substance abuser. Don’t be surprised or terribly hurt if and when a recovering
person fails to tell you the truth. I have done this myself, and seen it
during my interactions with the men and women I’ve counseled over the
years (particularly those in the jails and prisons). The thought life of the
chemically dependent person is all about the drug—24/7/365.
When I was using drugs, I planned my days around getting high.
When someone asked me what I’d been doing, where I was going, where
I’d been, why I needed money, or when I would be back, I just made
things up. Honesty would only have caused more problems for me. My
attitude was, I’ll tell you whatever I need to say to get you off my back.
This is one reason recovery is difficult at first, since it means being
honest for the first time in a long time.

This “Q & A with Joe” is excerpted from Part 5 of “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.”

NEED HELP NOW?
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

MORE ASK JOE:
>Son needs $75 for drug dealer of he’ll be “killed for sure.”

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”

>Should my husband “back off?”

Sign up for our Free Changing Lives E-Newsletter!

addicted friend addicted loved one telling the truth addict telling the truth

Tags: addict telling the truth, addicted friend, addicted loved-one, telling the truth

Love First Intervention: How Do I Intervene?

February 7, 2012 by jherzanek | No comments

Show #3
January 28, 2012
Eye on Addiction Radio
630 KHOW “Denver’s Talk Station”

Love First Intervention:
How Do I Intervene?

Guest: Jeff Jay
Interventionist and co-author of, love first

• Do interventions work?
• What are some different ways of intervening?
• What to do when the addict finds out about the intervention in advance?
(The answer may surprise you).

Joe and Jeff discuss different methods for intervening and the ways family can prepare for a successful intervention and what to do when the addict finds out about the intervention in advance. Listen to this one-hour show, including questions from listeners.

LISTEN NOW

Joe Herzanek and Jeff Jay
discuss these questions, answer calls and more.

Visit the Love First all-new website

Eye on Addiction Radio website and more details

If you missed any of our other shows, listen now on our
Show Archive

Please “Like Us” on Facebook! Thanks.

Sign up for our Free Changing Lives Newsletter

RETURN: from Intervention: How Do I Intervene?, to Blog Home

TO PURCHASE: “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”

Tags: addictions help, Al-Anon, changing lives foundation, eye on addiction radio, help for family of addicts, intervention, Jeff Jay, Joe Herzanek, Love First

Children of Addicts: The Innocent Victims

January 18, 2012 by jherzanek | No comments

Show #2
January 21, 2012

Children of Addicts:
The Innocent Victims

Guest: David Meggitt
Program manager, Betty Ford Colorado Children’s program

Listen (on your radio or online) to Matthew and his Mom tell their story
Saturday, Jan 21st at 5:00 pm (Mountain Standard Time)
4:00 Pacific, 6:00 Central, 7:00 Eastern
Call: 303.713.8255 with your comment or question

Eye on Addiction Radio website and more details

In 2011, we had the honor of sitting in on a portion of the Betty Ford Children’s Program. Needless to say, we were very impressed. Our guest David Meggitt has a genuine passion for children of addicts and alcoholics and has made this his life’s work. Listen to David, along with our very special guests Denise and her son Matthew as they tell their story and give hope to others.
WATCH NOW

“My son Matthew and I are glad to help and hope his story reaches someone. This is the episode of Nick News he was on. It won an Emmy. Such a powerful message! Thank for letting him share it.

WATCH NOW

“I want kids to know it’s not easy when your parent drinks and uses drugs but you can make good choices and you can love your parent and hate the addiction. I want kids to really understand it’s not their fault and that they don’t have to follow their parent’s footsteps.”

READ MORE ABOUT MATTHEW:
Second 2011-12 Winning Attitude Recipient
CenturyLink, Root Sports and the University of Colorado have named Ranum Middle School (Denver, Colo.) sixth grader Mathew Martinez the second Winning Attitude award winner of 2011-12. Winners are selected from a pool of written essays submitted by Colorado middle school students explaining how their winning attitude made a difference in their communities. READ MORE

Betty Ford program helps Springs kids cope with addicted parents
He was only 8 years old, but already, he’d been suspended from school for five days. He rarely smiled, and the slightest little aggravation would send him into a rage. Someone warned his mother that one day, he’d end up hurting her.
READ MORE

RELATED:
Siblings: The Forgotten Ones by Joe Herzanek

Listen (on your radio or online)
to Matthew and his Mom tell their story

Saturday, Jan 21st at 5:00 pm (Mountain Standard Time)
7:00 Eastern, 6:00 Central, 4:00 Pacific

Call: 303.713.8255 with your comment or question

Eye on Addiction Radio website and more details

If you miss the show, listen to it on our
Show Archive

Please “Like Us” on Facebook! Thanks.

Sign up for our Free Changing Lives Newsletter

RETURN: from Children of Addicts: The Innocent Victims, to Blog Home

TO PURCHASE: “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”

Tags: addiction radio, Al-Anon, Betty Ford Center, Betty Ford Children's Program, children of addicts, children of alcoholics, David Meggett, eye on addiction radio, help for alcoholism, help for family of addicts, kids of addicts, Kids of alcoholics, Linda Ellerbee

Addiction Recovery Resources

January 17, 2012 by jherzanek | No comments

Resource Links for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

We’ve listed our favorite, most informative, useful, reliable—and yes, even the most “fun” websites we could find, to help you navigate this exciting world of recovery.

Updated 1.17.12
This Resource List is a work-in-progress. If you are seeking a particular resource and still need help, please do not hesitate to give Joe a call on 303.775.6493. He will be glad to help.

*TREATMENT CENTERS:

MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
Valley Hope Association A nationally-recognized, nonprofit organization dedicated to providing quality chemical dependency treatment services at an affordable price.

Arapahoe House (13 locations in Colorado) provides life-changing alcohol and drug rehabilitation at 13 locations in Denver, Colorado for vulnerable individuals and families. Arapahoe House is Colorado’s leading nonprofit provider of affordable drug and alcohol treatment and behavioral health services. We provide substance abuse illness treatment for women and their children, teens, adults and families.

COLORADO
CeDAR Center for Dependency, Addiction and Rehabilitation. A comprehensive addiction treatment center offering quality 12-step residential treatment and support programs crucial to recovery for addictions to alcohol, drug and co-occurring addictions such as gambling.

Harmony Foundation Alcoholism Drug Addiction Treatment Center – Estes Park Colorado. Outpatient & Intervention services available.

Centennial Peaks Hospital A recognized center of excellence and preferred treatment provider for inpatient and intensive outpatient health care in Colorado and surrounding states.

Highlands Behavioral Health System An 86 bed freestanding behavioral health hospital offering psychiatric care for adults and adolescents. Mental health level of care assessments are provided free of charge. Once a patient is admitted to Highlands Behavioral Health System, an interdisciplinary team creates an individualized treatment program that includes acute care treatment, solution-focused treatment, and comprehensive discharge planning.

(Colorado) Men:
Jaywalker Lodge Provides relapse treatment and transitional living programs for adult men seeking freedom from drug and alcohol addiction in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. Jaywalker programs are designed for clients with a history of previous treatments and/or failed attempts at sobriety.

(Colorado) Women:
The Haven An 89-bed Modified Therapeutic Community (MTC) located in Denver, Colorado for women, mothers and their infants. Provides intensive residential substance abuse treatment to women who are either pregnant or have an infant in their care.

The Rose House An extended care, residential addiction treatment program for women. In our 16 bed, luxury facility, we provide intensive therapy, relapse prevention and facilitate the development of life skills necessary to maintain long term sobriety.

(Colorado) Outpatient:
Freedom Center Freedom Center is an outpatient program working with men and women to help them replace addictive practices with self-mastery so that dependency is transformed into empowerment.

CALIFORNIA
Promises Treatment Centers Promises offers highly individualized treatment to clients struggling with addictions and co-occurring disorders. Located in Malibu and West Los Angeles, Promises offers 12-step based programs from Detoxification, Primary Residential/Inpatient treatment, Extended Care, Sober Living, and Outpatient services in a small intimate setting.

Betty Ford Center We provide effective alcohol and other drug dependency treatment services, including programs of education and research, to help women, men and families begin the process of recovery. We emphasize involving the entire family in the recovery process, and we stress the importance of each person identifying his or her own spiritual path.

Cliffside Malibu For effective Drug Rehabilitation, a luxurious and private drug treatment center. . .the choice of leading professionals.

FLORIDA
Transitions Recovery Program in North Miami Beach Florida has the staff with the training and years of experience to create a relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere to reclaim your life from substance abuse.

ILLINOIS
Rosecrance Treatment Centers Rosecrance is dedicated to providing the highest quality care and the best evidence-based practices to treat substance use disorder and mental health issues. We’re focused on one thing: Providing the best opportunity for lasting recovery. Life’s waiting.

NEVADA
Las Vegas Recovery Center World renowned, medically managed withdrawal, multi-addiction, dual diagnosis, and residential treatment center for substance abuse disorders and chronic pain rehabilitation.

PENNSYLVANIA
Teens:
Clear Brook Lodge Established specifically for adolescents, this 46-bed inpatient rehabilitation center is the beginning of what must be a continued effort to maintain a lifestyle and lifetime of sobriety.

Heartlight Ministries Heartlight is a year-round therapeutic boarding school that helps troubled teens begin living a more fulfilling and less self-destructive lifestyle.

*The list of organizations, professionals, and advisors (referred to hereafter as “advisors”) is provided solely for informational purposes. Changing Lives Foundation does not endorse, and has not undertaken any independent investigation of the qualifications, credentials, experience, education, training, or proper licensing of, any advisor listed below. Changing Lives Foundation does not have any direct or indirect input in any advice or services provided by any advisor listed on this website.

Any person using contact information provided herein, to locate and select an advisor is strongly encouraged to inquire about the advisor’s professional expertise, experience, licensing, and qualifications before engaging or hiring such a person or organization.

UTAH
Le Mont Michel An upscale sober home nestled at the bast of Utah’s majestic Wasatch Mountains, utilizing Applied Recovery—a systematic and comprehensive approach to planning out the first year of sobriety for people recovering from drug and alcohol addictions.

RECOVERY COMMUNITIES:
Trilogy Recovery Community (Walla Walla, WA) Trilogy Recovery Community is a grassroots collaboration of parents, youth, concerned citizens, and community leaders who believe that all children deserve to live in a drug-free community.

RESOURCES FOR CHILDREN:
Betty Ford Children’s Program (Multiple locations) Did you know that the Betty Ford Center offers treatment for the children of the patient? Learn about the Betty Ford Center children’s program.

INTERVENTION:
Love First Jeff and Debra Jay have assembled a team of clinical interventionists experienced in the treatment of alcoholism, drug addiction and other issues. We provide expert direction and planning for every aspect of the intervention. We will fully rehearse your team, lead the intervention and we will also safely escort your loved one to treatment.

Love First (Book) The best book on intervention for families by professional interventionists, Jeff and Debra Jay, published by Hazelden Books. Changing Lives recommends this book to all our counseling and intervention clients.

(A-I-R) Assistance in Recovery “America’s leader in intervention and recovery services.”

ARISE Intervention A three-phase process which is a Continuum of Care that leads your loved one into appropriate treatment and recovery. The addicted individual is invited to join the process right from the beginning with no surprises, no secrets, no coercion, and absolute respect and love.

BOOKS and DVDs:
Recommended Books and DVDs for families of drug and alcohol abusers and addicts

ADDICTION HELP:
Changing Lives Foundation An informative site providing help for friends and family of addicts/alcoholics—with a focus on how individuals and families recover from these problems. “Addicts and alcoholics aren’t crazy and they CAN quit!”

SoberNation The #1 National Recovery Resources and Addiction Treatment Centers Database on the internet.

addiction2recovery
addiction2recovery™ exists to help change the lives of people impacted by addiction. addiction2recovery is a unique recovery organization because our focus is on outreach. We reach out to people in all stages of addiction discovery and recovery. Our goal is to help strengthen and empower individuals in recovery.

The Institute for Addiction Study We want to challenge current thinking about addiction in order to inform individuals, groups and families of the current controversies within addiction treatment so they can make informed decisions about recovery.

Drug Addiction Support. News and current topics about drug addiction—including the latest books and DVD’s for Addiction Recovery, along with resources to learn how to help your family deal with drugs.

Sober.com. Committed to helping the addicted and families affected by drug abuse and drug addiction—to find rehabs, especially troubled teens. This site also includes various interesting venues for recovering people to connect with each other.

The Association for Addiction Professionals. A professional membership organization that serves counselors who specialize in addiction treatment.

Hazelden. A comprehensive site for individuals, families, and communities struggling with addiction to alcohol and other drugs. This nonprofit organization helps people transform their lives by providing the highest quality treatment and continuing care services, education, research, and publishing products available today.

FAMILY SUPPORT:
Al-Anon/Alateen (which includes Alateen for younger members) offers hope and help to families and friends of alcoholics.

Nar-Anon family groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else’s addiction.

Palmer Drug Abuse Program (PDAP). FREE recovery services for substance abuse and drug addiction. A 12 step, faith-based program that offers group meetings, individual and family counseling to families, siblings and teens.

Getting Them Sober: One of the best websites and book series on recovery we have found.

Parents. The Anti-Drug. Extensive amount of info, advice, resources specifically written for parents.

Online Al-Anon Outreach. Information about online Al-Anon Family Groups and links to meetings on the Internet.

Love and Logic. Helpful articles, simple and practical techniques to help parents and teachers have less stress and more fun while raising responsible kids.

ADDICTION PROFESSIONAL TRAINING:
Odyssey Training Center (Denver, CO Springs, Grand Junction CO) The leader in providing substance abuse training to Substance Abuse Counselors and Mental Health Professionals. With training facilities in Denver, Colorado Springs and Grand Junction, as well as Online courses, Odyssey provides a wide range of workshops focusing on substance abuse and related mental health and domestic violence issues.

PHONE COUNSELING FOR FAMILIES:
Joe Herzanek/Changing Lives Foundation (author, Why Don’t They Just Quit?, addiction counselor) There IS a solution. Together we can formulate a plan to restore sanity to your life, saving you and your family time, money, stress and unnecessary heartache. Personalized Drug Addiction Phone Counseling for family members (and/or the addicted person) with author/addiction counselor Joe Herzanek—specialized to your unique situation.

Toby Drews (author Getting Them Sober, family counselor) Long distance telephone consultations (including evenings, weekends and holidays) concerning the addiction and/or family issues, with individuals or couples, or alcoholics who want to seriously look at getting sober–or who are already in recovery, and want additional help.

DRUG INFORMATION:
The Drug Guide at The Partnership at Drugfree.org is a comprehensive and up-to-date source of drug information, including drug descriptions, slang terms, short term- and long term- effects, images, federal classifications and more.

TWELVE-STEP:
Alcoholics Anonymous. A fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism (on the “Is AA for you?” page there are 12 questions to help you decide if you have a problem).

AA Grapevine. Voice of Alcoholics Anonymous, The International Journal of AA, articles, stories, jokes, letters, subscriptions since 1944.

12-Step.org. Information and tools for working the 12-step program.

Read the AA Big Book online. Complete text of “Alcoholics Anonymous” also known as “The Big Book” is available in English, French, and Spanish.

Using Al-Anon’s Steps in Our Personal Lives. This series of podcasts discusses how Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps have helped people successfully handle a variety of challenges associated with the family illness of alcoholism.

AA Intergroup. Telephone Numbers, USA.

Marijuana Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength, and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem and help others to recover from marijuana addiction.

SOBER LIVING:
Oxford House. Democratically run, self-supporting, and drug free group home. A national directory of all the houses is provided. Self Run, Self Supported, Addiction Recovery Houses

Serenity Houses. Affordable, very nice 12-step-based Sober Living Homes in Colorado. The Serenity Houses provide a structured living environment for people with alcohol or drug dependency problems.

CO-ADDICTION:
NEW!

Soaring Above Co-Addiction—a book, blog and website dedicated to helping the co-addicted rise above their situation to take control of their own life.

CHRISTIAN RECOVERY:
addiction2recovery. reality.connection.change. Addiction recovery materials along with gripping videos of real people’s stories of change and recovery.

Celebrate Recovery. A Christ-centered program ministering to those who struggle with hurts, hang-ups, habits or addictions.

ALCOHOL/DRUGS:
National Institute on Drug Abuse. NIDA’s mission is to lead the nation in bringing the power of science to bear on drug abuse and addiction.

SAMHSA: Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration. Provides info on the prevention of substance abuse, alcohol and drug addiction, treatment, and mental health services.

NCADD: National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc. Provides education, information, help, and hope to the public. It advocates prevention, intervention, and treatment through a nationwide network of affiliates.

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Provides current publications, research and news on alcohol addiction.

American Council on Alcoholism. More helpful information on intervention, problems surrounding alcohol abuse, self-tests, and other resources.

Stories of hope and recovery: The Partnership for a Drug-Free America. Personal, real-life stories of recovery.

anonymousone. A recovery resource like no other. A global resource reaching readers in more than 100 countries. AA, Al-Anon, find sober living homes, sober clubs, conferences, events, roundups, treatment centers, central offices, stories & articles of recovery, books & gifts for sobriety, daily meditations and much more.

ALCOHOL ADDICTION INTERACTIVE/BLOG SITES:
NEW!
Demons in the Dark: Everything you always wanted to know about alcohol and alcoholism, but were afraid to ask.

PRESCRIPTION DRUG ABUSE & ADDICTION:
Pharmacy Technician.net. A wealth of information on this topic.

TOBACCO:
CDC: Tobacco Facts. Extensive information on smoking and the tobacco industry.

PAIN MANAGEMENT:
AAPM: The American Academy of Pain Medicine is the medical specialty society representing physicians practicing in the field of Pain Medicine.

ONLINE COMMUNITIES/SUPPORT:
Changing Lives Foundation Private Group (Facebook) A place for families and friends of a person struggling with alcohol or drug abuse/addiction—to post, discuss and help each other. This is a closed group where anyone can join—and safely post without fear of “the world” being able to see. Click on link, ask to join and someone will sign you in.

The Addict’s Mom: Sharing Without Shame. A group focusing on the mothers of addicted children. The relationship between the mother and addicted child is unique; that does not diminish the experiences of other family members. Join one of their many online communities—The Addict’s Mom, The Addict, The Addict’s Dad, The Single Addict’s Mom.

FOB (Friends of Bill). A social network specifically designed for alcoholics and addicts. Connect with new friends from all over the world who are just like you. New, easy online instant chat!

In the Rooms. The premier, most comprehensive online social network for the recovery community worldwide. For the 23 hours a day you’re not at a meeting. in the Rooms has many of the most popular 12-Step fellowships as groups for you to become a member of. In here you’ll find great discussions, great people, resources, and archives.

Faces and Voices of Recovery. Dedicated to changing public perceptions of recovery, promoting effective public policy in Washington and in all 50 states, and demonstrating that recovery is working for millions of Americans.

SelfGrowth.com: The #1 Self-Improvement Site on the internet. SelfGrowth.com is the most complete guide to information about Self -Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organized directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web.

NUTRITION & FITNESS:
Nutrition Action. The largest-circulation health newsletter in North America providing reliable information on nutrition and health.

Nutrition Info—Dept. of Health and Human Services

Fitness Info—Dept. of Health and Human Services

Let’s Move! Program developed by First Lady Michelle Obama to solve the epidemic of childhood obesity within a generation.

RECOVERY RADIO:
Eye on Addiction Radio Helping Families Fight Addiction. Denver’s first live call-in talk radio show devoted to providing help for families torn apart by alcohol or drug abuse; Eye on Addiction is a weekly talk radio, live call-in show brought to you by Changing Lives Foundation.

Recovery Now! A weekly radio program that discusses Alcoholism and Addiction recovery. Topics covered include: Causes, Symptoms, Intervention, Depression, Drug Therapies, 12-Step, Treatment Programs and much more. The format of the show is an informal roundtable discussion led by Ned Wicker.

Recovery Coast to Coast. Two hours of engaging dialogue, news updates and interviews around the topics of addiction, treatment, research and recovery.

Prescription Addiction Radio The Prescription Addiction Radio Show is a challenge to America to discuss the culture in our country that has evolved into accepting the silent epidemic that has created a growing number of people who cannot get through their day without an addictive or psychologically mind altering drug.

BLOGS:
The official blog of: Changing Lives Foundation We are convinced that people can recover—and make dramatic changes in their lives.

Treatment Talk Sharing and Support for Addiction, Recovery and Treatment.

There is No Hero in Heroin Blog A place for anyone with a family member caught in the grip of Heroin Addiction. You are not alone.

Soaring Above Co-Addiction Helping your loved one get clean, while creating the life of your dreams.

Dad on Fire On fire about the impact of addiction and need for solutions. This blog is always interesting to read.

Sober Blogger’s Directory
Top 100 Sober Blogs. Make friends. Find support. Help others. Embrace recovery.

POEMS AND STORIES:
Addiction Poems about Family A collection of reader-submitted poems from real people about real-life situations.

FUN STUFF:
OneRecovery.com A friendly and feature-rich online recovery community for alcohol, drug and eating disorder addiction.

The Lois Wilson Story (Hallmark Hall of Fame) The first biography of the great American woman, wife of the man who co-founded Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)—a world-wide movement to save millions of families from the devastation of alcohol and drugs.

SELF-TESTS FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS:
Tools to Assess Others:
How well do you know your teen?
If you’re a parent concerned about your teen’s (12-18 years old) alcohol and/or drug use.

Al-Anon Quiz: Are you troubled by someone’s drinking?
The following questions, from Al-Anon Family Groups, are designed to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon.

Self Assessment Tools:
Is AA for you?
Symptoms of alcoholism are summed up in 12 questions most A.A.s had to answer to identify themselves as alcoholics.

CRAFFT Quiz:
If you’re a teen (12-17 years old) concerned about your own drug and/or alcohol use.

Alcohol Screening:
How much is too much? If you’re an adult (18 or older) concerned about your drinking.

NEED HELP NOW?
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

Return from Resource Links for Families of Addicts and Alcoholics to Drug Addiction Help Now Home

_____________________________________________________________________________
Addiction Recovery Resources Addiction Recovery Resources Addiction Recovery Resources

“www.GettingThemSober.com is one of the best websites on… recovery… out of hundreds of websites on that issue on the internet” – America Online (from the Jan/Feb issue of AOL’s magazine, www.health.com)

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Addiction Recovery Resources, Addiction Resources, Addicts and Alcoholics, Families of Substance Abusers, Preferred Providers

12 Step Prayers

January 11, 2012 by jherzanek | 1 comment

12 Step Prayers

Thanks to our friend Holly Jo for passing this on to us. These little prayers are great for anyone in AA, Alanon, Alateen or anyone who wants to have a greater understanding of the 12 Step Program, in order to grow closer to their friend or loved one who is in recovery. Enjoy.

~First Step Prayer~
Dear Lord,
I admit that I am powerless over my addiction.
I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it.
Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness.
Remove from me all denial of my addiction.

~Second Step Prayer~
Heavenly Father,
I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity.
I humbly ask that you remove all twisted thought and
addictive behavior from me this day.
Heal my spirit and restore in me a clear mind.

~Third Step Prayer~
(Page 63 – A. A. Big Book)
God,
I offer myself to Thee
To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do
Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear
witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and
Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always!

~Fourth Step Prayer~
Dear God,
It is I who have made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.
My mistakes are mine, and I will begin a
searching and fearless moral inventory.
I will write down my wrongs,
but I will also include that which is good.
I pray for the strength to complete the task.

~Fifth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
My inventory has shown me who I am,
yet I ask for Your help in admitting my wrongs
to another person and to You. Assure me, and be with me, in this Step,
for without this Step I cannot progress in my recovery.
With Your help, I can do this, and I do it.

~Sixth Step Prayer~
Dear God,
I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects of character
which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue
being honest with myself and guide me toward spiritual and mental
health.

~Seventh Step Prayer~
(Page 76 – A. A. Big Book)
My Creator,
I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character
which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do your bidding. Amen

~Eighth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
I ask Your help in making my list of all those I have harmed.
I will take responsibility for my mistakes, and be forgiving to others as
You are forgiving to me. Grant me the willingness to begin my
restitution.
This I pray.

~Ninth Step Prayer~
Higher Power,
I pray for the right attitude to make my amends,
being ever mindful not to harm others in the process.
I ask for Your guidance in making indirect amends.
Most important, I will continue to make amends by
staying abstinent, helping others, and growing in spiritual progress.

~Tenth Step Prayer~
I pray I may continue:
To grow in understanding and effectiveness;
To take daily spot check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and
behaviors;
To keep my willfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love and tolerance of others as my code;
And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, my Higher
Power.

~Eleventh Step Prayer~
Higher Power, As I understand You, I pray to keep my connection with
You open and clear from the confusion of daily life.
Through my prayers and meditation I ask especially for
freedom from self-will, rationalization, and wishful thinking.
I pray for the guidance of correct thought and positive action.
Your will Higher Power, not mine, be done.

~Twelfth Step Prayer~
Dear God,
My spiritual awakening continues to unfold.
The help I have received I shall pass on and give to others,
both in and out of the Fellowship. For this opportunity I am grateful.
I pray most humbly to continue walking day by day on
the road of spiritual progress.
I pray for the inner strength and wisdom to practice the principles of
this way of life in all I do and say.

12 Step Prayers
Source Unknown

__________________

The AA Promises

A recovering Addict’s taste of tough love! (for the loved ones of the addict)

NEED HELP NOW? (do you need help with tough love?)
Drug Addiction Phone Counseling and Intervention
for Families Dealing with Drug or Alcohol Abuse

PURCHASE:
To purchase the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit?
What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery”

Return from Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations to Blog Home

12 Step Prayers AA 12 Step Prayers

Tags: 12 step alanon, 12 step Christian, 12 Step Prayers, 12 step program, 12 Steps of AA, 12 Steps of Al-Anon, 12 Steps of Nar-Anon, 12-Steps, AA 12 Steps, AA 12-step program, Addiction and spirituality, Christian recovery, recovery prayers, Spiritual awakening, Spirituality and AA, Spirituality and Al-Anon

Vicodin Abuse and Dangerous New Painkiller Worries Experts

December 26, 2011 by jherzanek | 2 comments

Vicodin Abuse and Dangerous New Painkiller Worries Experts

Zogenix headquarters, San Deigo, CA where work is underway to formulate a purer, more powerful version of the USA's second most-abused medicine, hydrocodone. Experts fear this new painkiller could trigger a brand new round of abuse. /Lenny Ignelz/Associated Press

There are a few medications available today that help some people with the initial quitting phase. However, I strongly advise anyone in recovery to consult with a trusted doctor before taking anything.

The following article addresses Vicodin Abuse and a dangerous new painkiller—a pure, more powerful version of the nation’s second most-abused medicine.

One of the more difficult groups of substances for an addict to stop using is pain medication—mainly, the opiate drugs like Vicodin, Percocet, heroin, and OxyContin.
~Joe Herzanek

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By Chris Hawley/Associated Press

NEW YORK — Drug companies are working to develop a pure, more powerful version of the nation’s second most-abused medicine, which has addiction experts worried that it could spur a new wave of abuse.

The new pills contain the highly addictive painkiller hydrocodone, packing up to 10 times the amount of the drug as existing medications such as Vicodin. Four companies have begun patient testing, and one of them — Zogenix of San Diego — plans to apply early next year to begin marketing its product, Zohydro.

If approved, it would mark the first time patients could legally buy pure hydrocodone. Existing products combine the drug with nonaddictive painkillers such as acetaminophen.

Critics say they are especially worried about Zohydro, a timed-release drug meant for managing moderate to severe pain, because abusers could crush it to release an intense, immediate high.

“I have a big concern that this could be the next OxyContin,” said April Rovero, president of the National Coalition Against Prescription Drug Abuse. “We just don’t need this on the market.”

OxyContin, introduced in 1995 by Purdue Pharma of Stamford, Conn., was designed to manage pain with a formula that dribbled one dose of oxycodone over many hours.

Abusers quickly discovered they could defeat the timed-release feature by crushing the pills. Purdue Pharma changed the formula to make OxyContin more tamper-resistant, but addicts have moved onto generic oxycodone and other drugs that do not have a timed-release feature.

Oxycodone is now the most-abused medicine in the United States, with hydrocodone second, according to the Drug Enforcement Administration’s annual count of drug seizures sent to police drug labs for analysis.

The latest drug tests come as more pharmaceutical companies are getting into the $10 billion-a-year legal market for powerful — and addictive — opiate narcotics.

“It’s like the wild west,” said Peter Jackson, co-founder of Advocates for the Reform of Prescription Opioids. “The whole supply-side system is set up to perpetuate this massive unloading of opioid narcotics on the American public.”

The pharmaceutical firms say the new hydrocodone drugs give doctors another tool to try on patients in legitimate pain, part of a constant search for better painkillers to treat the aging U.S. population.

“Sometimes you circulate a patient between various opioids, and some may have a better effect than others,” said Karsten Lindhardt, chief executive of Denmark-based Egalet, which is testing its own pure hydrocodone product.

The companies say a pure hydrocodone pill would avoid liver problems linked to high doses of acetaminophen, an ingredient in products like Vicodin. They also say patients will be more closely supervised because, by law, they will have to return to their doctors each time they need more pills. Prescriptions for the weaker, hydrocodone-acetaminophen products now on the market can be refilled up to five times.

Zogenix has completed three rounds of patient testing, and last week it announced it had held a final meeting with Food and Drug Administration officials to talk about its upcoming drug application. It plans to file the application in early 2012 and have Zohydro on the market by early 2013.

Purdue Pharma and Cephalon, a Frazer, Pa.-based unit of Israel-based Teva Pharmaceuticals, are conducting late-stage trials of their own hydrocodone drugs, according to documents filed with federal regulators. In May, Purdue Pharma received a patent applying extended-release technology to hydrocodone. Neither company would comment on its plans.

Meanwhile, Egalet has finished the most preliminary stages of testing aimed at determining the basic safety of a drug. The firm could have a product on the market as early as 2015 but wants to see how the other companies fare with the FDA before deciding whether to move forward, Lindhardt said.

Critics say they are troubled because of the dark side that has accompanied the boom in sales of narcotic painkillers: Murders, pharmacy robberies and millions of dollars lost by hospitals that must treat overdose victims.

Thousands of legitimate pain patients are becoming addicted to powerful prescription painkillers, they say, in addition to the thousands more who abuse the drugs.

Prescription painkillers led to the deaths of almost 15,000 people in 2008, more than triple the 4,000 deaths in 1999, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported last month.

Emergency room visits related to hydrocodone abuse have shot from 19,221 in 2000 to 86,258 in 2009, according to data compiled by the Drug Enforcement Administration. In Florida alone, hydrocodone caused 910 deaths and contributed to 1,803 others between 2003 and 2007.

Hydrocodone belongs to family of drugs known as opiates or opioids because they are chemically similar to opium. They include morphine, heroin, oxycodone, codeine, methadone and hydromorphone.

Opiates block pain but also unleash intense feelings of well-being and can create physical dependence. The withdrawal symptoms are also intense, with users complaining of cramps, diarrhea, muddled thinking, nausea and vomiting.

After a while, opiates stop working, forcing users to take stronger doses or to try slightly different chemicals.

“You’ve got a person on your product for life, and a doctor’s got a patient who’s never going to miss an appointment, because if they did and they didn’t get their prescription, they would feel very sick,” said Andrew Kolodny, president of Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing. “It’s a terrific business model, and that’s what these companies want to get in on.”

Under pressure from the government, Purdue Pharma last year debuted a new OxyContin pill formula that “squishes” instead of crumbling when someone tries to crush it.

But Zogenix, whose drug is time-released but crushable, says there is not enough evidence to show that such tamper-resistant reformulations thwart abuse.

“Provided sufficient effort, all formulations currently available can be overcome,” Zogenix said in a written response to questions by The Associated Press.

At a conference for investors New York on Nov. 29, Zogenix chief executive Roger Hawley said the FDA was not pressuring Zogenix to put an abuse deterrent in Zohydro.

“We would certainly consider later launching an abuse-deterrent form, but right now we believe the priority of safer hydrocodone — that is, without acetaminophen — is a key priority for the FDA,” Hawley said.

FDA spokeswoman Erica Jefferson said the agency would not comment on its discussions with drug companies, citing the need to protect trade secrets.

Drug control advocates say they’re worried the U.S. government is too lax about controlling addictive pain medications. The United States consumes 99 percent of the world’s hydrocodone and 83 percent of its oxycodone, according to a 2008 study by the International Narcotics Control Board.

One 41-year-old loophole in particular has fed the current problem with hydrocodone abuse, critics say. The federal Controlled Substances Act, passed in 1970, puts fewer controls on combination pills containing hydrocodone and another painkiller than it does on the equivalent oxycodone products.

A Vicodin prescription can be refilled five times, for example, while a Percocet prescription can only be filled once.

The Drug Enforcement Administration and Food and Drug Administration have been studying whether to close this loophole since 1999 but have made no decision. Congress is now considering a bill that would force the agencies to tighten the controls.

“This is a problem that is fundamentally an oversupply problem,” said Jackson, the drug-control advocate. “The FDA has kind of opened the floodgates, and they refuse to recognize the mistakes made in the past.”

Pure hydrocodone falls into the stricter drug-control category than hydrocodone-acetaminophen medications, meaning patients would have to go to their doctors for a new prescription each time they needed more pills. But Jackson said that’s no guarantee against abuse, noting that dozens of unscrupulous doctors have been caught churning out prescriptions in so-called “pill mills.”

The Drug Enforcement Administration, which enforces controls on medicines along with the FDA, said it could not comment on drugs that have not yet been approved for sale.

However, Zogenix has acknowledged the abuse issue could become a liability.

“Illicit use and abuse of hydrocodone is well documented,” it said in a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission in September. “Thus, the regulatory approval process and the marketing of Zohydro may generate public controversy that may adversely affect regulatory approval and market acceptance of Zohydro.”

Return from Vicodin Abuse and Dangerous New Painkiller Worries Experts to Drug Addiction Help Now Home

RELATED ARTICLES:

Pain Meds Cause More Pain! The new silent epidemic

Opiate Pain Meds: Avoiding Opiate Prescription Drug Addiction in Recovery

Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

Effects of Addiction

________________________________________
Vicodin Abuse, New Painkiller, Painkiller addiction

Tags: addiction help, New Painkiller, Painkiller Abuse, Painkiller addiction, Painkillers, Vicodin Abuse

12 Ways Recovery From Addiction Will Save Your Marriage

Addiction in a marriage is never a good thing. The drug or alcohol becomes almost like a third person in the relationship and drives a wedge between spouses. The personality of the addict and spouse changes, which alters the dynamic of the marriage. However, odd as it may seem, there are ways that recovery from addiction can end up saving your marriage. Here’s how:

The Role of Therapy and the Marriage Dynamic

Addiction recovery will involve therapy of some kind. For addicts who are married or have a family, it often involves therapy sessions in which the entire family participates. These family therapy sessions offer an excellent opportunity to address the family dynamics, discuss past hurts and rebuild damaged relationships. Doing so will cause you to come out with a stronger marriage, a renewed sense of trust in each other, and a deeper bond.

Without therapy, the marriage and family relationships may languish in the same dysfunctional interactions that arose as a result of the addiction. The behavior of the addict during the addiction likely caused significant damage to family relationships. Trust was replaced with deceit. Integrity was replaced with lies. If these emotions and actions are allowed to remain, the likelihood of the marriage surviving is very small.

Therapy can help families work through the emotional and mental component of addiction and its impact on the entire family. Through therapy, the addict and spouse or family members can regain open and honest communication, rebuild trust, foster forgiveness and learn self-acceptance. Once the old wounds have been brought out into the open, family recovery can begin to take place.

Family therapy provides a necessary and safe environment for children of addicts as well. Not only can children of addicts play a part in their parents’ recovery, family therapy can also serve as an intervention for at-risk children of addicts. These children may be on the path to addiction themselves, as a result of having to grow up with addiction in the family as well as genetic factors. Early intervention can help prevent children from following in their parents’ footsteps.

The 12 Recovery Principles

The principles learned during recovery from addiction can also assist in improving the marriage. A principle is a basic action or guideline that the addict has committed to following as he or she progresses through recovery from addiction. Principles become a way of life for recovering addicts and their families.

The principles of recovery from addiction will vary from person to person, but the most common core principles are taken from the 12 steps to recovery:

Honesty – The addict openly and honestly faces up to their addiction and commits him or herself to honest interactions henceforth.
Hope – As it pertains to the hope the addict can develop as recovery progresses. Hope of recovery is a powerful motivator.
Faith – This can refer to having faith in yourself, your spouse or in a higher power, any of which can pull you through the tough times.
Courage – This refers to the courage to openly and honestly confront yourself, your addictions and related actions.
Integrity – The ability to own up to our past mistakes and take responsibility for them.
Willingness – Willingness to change and willingness to let go of destructive habits.
Humility - A willingness to ask for help when needed.
Discipline and Action – Committed actions to support recovery from addiction and repair relationships.
Forgiveness - Asking for forgiveness from those you have hurt through your addictions. The forgiveness must come in the form of actions, not just words.
Acceptance – Admitting mistakes and accepting others and yourself.
Knowledge and Awareness – Becoming aware of yourself as you move through life and having awareness of your life’s purpose. This principle requires you to try to do the right thing in all actions.
Service and Gratitude – Serving as a mentor to other recovering addicts and expressing gratitude for the accomplishments you’ve made.

The Impact of the 12 Principles on Relationships

These 12 principles can go a long way toward saving your marriage. By following the principles, you and your spouse can enjoy more honest communication and trust, which will lead to a rebuilt intimacy. You will learn about codependent behaviors and how to break free of them. You will learn how to help your spouse, not control them. You will learn about taking personal responsibility for yourself and your actions.

Although recovery from addiction is a painful process and may at times feel as though it is tearing your marriage further apart, a couple can make it through addiction and recovery with their marriage intact and stronger than ever before.

Related Resources:

Learn about using the Family Medical Leave Act for addiction recovery.

About the Author:

Alan Goodstat, LCSW, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, received his Masters in Social Work at Columbia University in New York City. He’s now a Director of Performance Improvement for a Behavioral Hospital System and contributes to the addiction treatment site RecoveryConnection.org. He wrote a chapter on substance abuse in the book Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Understanding Teenagers With Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

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From 12 Ways Recovery From Addiction Will Save Your Marriage to Blog Home

December 21, 2011 by jherzanek | 3 comments

Phone counseling for families of substance abusers

December 17, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

The Flame, First Pres Boulder, Dec. 2011

Changing Lives Foundation is supported by generous individual donors and several churches. As a way to “give back” to members of supporting churches, we offer No-Fee Phone Counseling for friends and family of someone struggling with drug or alcohol abuse.
We were recently featured in the December issue of First Pres. Boulder’s newsletter, The Flame (one of our supporting churches).
Click here for a PDF file of the December issue of The Flame

Joe and Judy Herzanek

New Family Resource Available at First Pres – Counseling for Families of Substance Abusers

~By Russ Teets

Editor’s Note:
Joe Herzanek is the president and founder of Changing Lives Foundation. As a certified addiction professional in Colorado he spent over seventeen years working in the criminal justice system as the Chaplain at the Boulder County Jail. His credentials include being a Colorado State Certified Addiction Counselor and a Board Certified Biblical Counselor. Joe is the author of the book “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery” which won the Best Self-Help Book award in 2008. Joe’s wife Judy is the Director of Creative Development and Marketing for Changing Lives.

In 2010, according to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), an estimated 22.1 million persons (8.7 percent of the population aged 12 or older) in the U.S. were classified with substance dependence or abuse in the past year. 15.0 million had dependence or abuse of alcohol, 4.2 million of illicit drugs and 2.9 of both. For drugs, marijuana is the number one drug of abuse and prescription painkillers are number two.

For each substance abuser there are an estimated 10 other people who are directly affected. Family members and friends are the ones who suffer the most as they watch their loved one continue down the road of self-destruction. They desperately want to help the abuser but their actions often make the situation worse.

Joe and Judy Herzanek founded Changing Lives to help families and friends of substance abusers. First Pres has supported Joe’s work for over seventeen years, beginning with the Boulder County Jail Chaplaincy and now in his work with families struggling with alcohol and drug abuse.

Joe says: “We are passionate about what we do and know that we are making a difference in people’s lives—both in the now and in eternity. The families we work with are in crisis. They feel extremely hopeless and lost not knowing what to do. With all of our experience, both in our lives and the lives of our family members, we offer real solutions, encouragement and hope—and hope, when you are desperate, is a priceless commodity.

“Substance abuse is growing exponentially and is impacting all people groups—even in the Christian community. I’m convinced that this is also an important and often overlooked issue for many of our families at First Pres. Most Christian families feel a sense of shame and are reluctant to seek help or talk about it. They continue to live with the problem or try to ignore it—often till a crisis develops, or when it is too late.”

“Judy and I strongly feel that we/Changing Lives—a local, church-sponsored resource, will best serve the First Pres congregation by offering no-fee phone counseling to members. Due to the poor economy, more families are stretched to the breaking point financially. This is a way that we will partner even more with First Pres to help serve these members in their time of need.

“Counseling over the phone has many advantages: it is an anonymous, no risk and easy way for church members to get clear guidance for their family. We can envision this turning into a possible family group meeting at First Pres at some point down the road.

Here is what some of Joe’s clients say:

We appreciate the convenience of being able to call. I don’t know if my husband would have participated otherwise. I also appreciated very much that you talked to us about faith. Just prior to the events over the last few weeks I received your email regarding this service. It kept coming to my mind. I feel that it was God’s direction to call you. Thanks for making yourself available. ~Patty B., Rutland, VT

Joe’s advice was very helpful & got me thinking realistically about the situation. I really feel as though Joe cares about the people he is trying to help. Some of the other people I talked to felt more like salesmen, trying to sell me on their program. ~Gina N., Foristell, MO

We felt so alone for such a long time, and when you reached out that gave us peace and strength that we can all get through this. Thank you so very much, God Bless you and your family. ~Trish & John, Colorado Springs, CO

Do you have a family member caught up in this cycle? Please take advantage of this great resource for families. Call Joe Herzanek at 303.775.6493 to schedule a time or get more details or contact him at jherzanek@gmail.com.

To view our First Pres. local missions website page

More info on Changing Lives Phone Counseling

Tags: alcohol abuse phone counseling, Colonial Pres, drug abuse phone counseling, First Pres. Boulder CO, Joe Herzanek Phone Counseling, Kansas City Counseling, no fee phone counseling, RMCC Counseling, The Flame

Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

December 9, 2011 by jherzanek | 4 comments

Joe Herzanek, Author, Addiction Counselor and Interventionist

Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction

Q. What do you do with someone who is addicted to pain pills but can’t come completely off because of continual pain?

Joe,

I have read your book “Why Don’t They Just Quit?“ and also gave it to my sister to read. She has a daughter who has a pain pill addiction. The problem is–she can’t just quit because the reason she was put on pain pills in the first place was because she has an incurable back problem.

I don’t remember your addressing this in your book, but what do you do with someone who has a pain pill addiction but can’t come completely off because of continual pain?

~ Betty F. (Tampa, FL)

A. Dear Betty,

This is a difficult dilemma. If your sister’s daughter has genuine, documentable chronic pain (by that I mean a physician has done a thorough exam and can point right to the problem) then this can be a huge challenge.

There is a lot I don’t know from your short email such as her age, type of injury, how long it has persisted and so on.

If she were my daughter I would want to personally go with her to a Dr. appointment and hear the prognosis first-hand. And I am not talking about going to a pain management clinic–but to the physician who is medically treating her injury.

The downside to using opiate pain meds (pain pills) for pain is that the person can/will build a high tolerance to them (if used over many months or years) and even if the original issue that caused the pain were to heal, the patient won’t be able to tell–because their central nervous system now expects opiates to come in on a regular basis. If this doesn’t happen, the body will “revolt”–go into withdrawal.

Your email stated “she has an incurable back problem.” I don’t know what that may mean, how severe the pain is, what has or has not been tried. I’m not a medical doctor. I do know trying lots of other options with the hope of finding a better solution than opiates is worth the effort.

There are often, other options for chronic pain management. Neuromuscular stimulators, stretching, exercise, chiropractic adjustments, over the counter medications, acupuncture, as well as surgery are some treatments for chronic pain. Some physicians use placebos, which in some cases have resulted in a lessening or elimination of pain. Psychotherapy, relaxation and medication therapies, biofeedback, and behavior modification may also be employed to treat chronic pain.

These options require work and a willingness on the daughter’s part to maybe go through a little more pain to find an alternative.

Keep in mind that all the while–she knows in the back of her head, that she can just take another pill or two and get instant relief. This can be a real mental tug-of-war.

Perhaps the best advice is to take the time to find a doctor that truly understands addiction, chronic pain management, pain med abuse along with the psychological mind game that a patient will struggle with.

I can advise you of several resources for advice or suggestions that you may find helpful—depending on your location.

Best regards,

~Joe

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Chronic Pain Management, Pain Pill Addiction, Chronic Pain Management, Pain Pill Addiction, Chronic Pain Management, Pain Pill Addiction,

Tags: addict, addiction books, addiction help, Chronic Pain, Chronic Pain Management, NA, Nar-Anon, Naranon, Opiate Pain Meds, Pain Management, Pain Pill Addiction, Why Don't they Just Quit

Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations

December 2, 2011 by jherzanek | 1 comment

Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations
for Chat Rooms, Groups and Bulletin Boards

People who attend Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA often use abbreviations to simplify their conversations and to make typing quicker and easier when they are posting online. Have you found yourself trying to read some of these posts and thought you were reading a foreign language or secret code? You are not alone!

This post will make things a little easier. We have listed some abbreviations and terms that are specific to recovery chat rooms/boards:

A or The A: the alcoholic in my life

AA: Alcoholics Anonymous

ABF or AGF: alcoholic boy friend or girlfriend

AFG: Al-Anon Family Groups

AH or AW: alcoholic husband or wife

Active A: an alcoholic who is still drinking alcohol

Big Book: refers to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

CAL: Conference Approved Literature, writings that have been approved by the WSO

C2C or CTC: courage to change

CLOSED MEETING: a meeting of AA or Al-Anon that is only to be attended by members who qualify for either AA or Al-anon

CROSSTALK: During an Al-anon meeting cross talking is speaking when
someone else has the floor and is sharing. It is also cross talking
when, after another member shares, someone shares and comments directly
about what the other person’s share was about and directs it to that
person. Both of these things are generally discouraged at Al-anon meetings
because it disrupts the meeting, takes away the anonymity of the
person’s share and can also become “advice giving” which is also discouraged
in Al-anon.

DRY DRUNK: refers to an alcoholic who is no longer drinking alcohol but who is still exhibiting a lot of the negative behaviors associated with the drinking

ESH: experience, strength and hope

FTF or F2F: a Face-to-Face meeting; real world meetings

HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain

MIP: Miracles in Progress

ODAAT: one day at a time

OPEN MEETING: a meeting of AA or Al-Anon that may be attended by anyone who is interested.

Q-tip: Quit taking it personally

TYFS OR TFS: Thank you for sharing

WSO: World Service Organization Al-Anons headquarters

If someone puts your nickname in parenthesis (((((nickname))))) that means they are giving you a cyber hug!

Raising the Bottom? ~by Joe Herzanek

To read 413 more common abbreviations

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Al-Anon Abbreviations, Nar-Anon Abbreviations, AA Abbreviations

Tags: AA, AA Abbreviations, addiction help, addicts help, Al-Anon, Al-Anon Abbreviations, alanon steps, alcohol addiction help, allanon, help for family of addicts, Nar-Anon Abbreviations

This article excerpted from the award-winning book “Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.” by Joe Herzanek

The Parable of the Prodigal Son

While he was still a long way off,
his father saw him coming.
Filled with compassion
the father ran to the son,
threw his arms around him and said,
“Welcome home.”
His son had come to his senses.
Let’s have a party!

His brother refused to come to the party
even after his father pleaded with him
to join them.
“I’ve stayed here all these years
and never caused a problem.
No one ever had a party for me,”
said the brother.
–paraphrased from the Gospel of Luke

Siblings often find themselves caught in the middle of the recovery process. In the story of the prodigal son, a father waits and watches expectantly for the return of his wayward child. The boy left home and not only squandered his inheritance, but also wasted a big chunk of his life. But there is so much more to the story. As we take a closer look at the entire family, we see that “the rest of the story” can apply to families and siblings today who are struggling with the early stages of recovery.

I know from firsthand experience how siblings can suffer. During my addiction, I was blind to how my actions were affecting my brother and two sisters. Actually, the entire family did not understand what was happening. Even now, more than thirty years later, some members of my family remain bitter, and we have never been able to resolve those hard feelings.

There is only so much time in any given day and when there is one high-maintenance family member, often the other children are neglected. Parents have a limited amount of energy for each day, and then they reach a point of exhaustion. In my case, which again is not unique, I received more than my share of attention. I, like many other addicts, was a very needy person. My life was one crisis after another. There were many occasions when I needed money. I drained my parents of their finances as well as their time and energy. Who suffered? At the time, it was far from obvious, but as I look back it is clear that my brother and sisters—basically good, low-maintenance kids were the innocent victims.

Mom and Dad spent a lot of their parenting energy either helping me with a problem or worried about what I might do next; they were even afraid to answer the phone. They couldn’t be in two places at once, physically or mentally. As a result, my siblings did not receive nearly the amount of attention they deserved. My parents missed their school programs and sports games because of my problems, and holidays were often ruined. Much of the focus was on Joe, and I was messing up my life while my brother and sisters were left striving to do the right thing and gain my parents’ approval and attention.

To make matters worse, my parents’ attention continued to be focused on me for a long time into my recovery. My siblings had to hear over and over, Isn’t it great that Joe’s quit using drugs? How wonderful that Joe is clean and sober. Joe has been drug-free for a year now “let’s celebrate!” These sort of comments continued, even after everything should have been back to normal. Talk about rubbing psychological salt in a wound; my brother and sisters must have been ready to puke. At that time, none of us had a clue how this would ultimately affect our future relationships.

Insidious: working or spreading harmfully in a subtle or stealthy manner. awaiting a chance to entrap; treacherous. harmful but enticing. Developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent. (Webster’s Dictionary)

It was only after years of recovery and study on this topic that this realization came to me. Because of this disease’s slow progression, few families are aware of the effect addiction has on the family as a whole. Few addicts think of making amends toward those who did not appear to be directly affected.

When I entered treatment many years ago, there was not much emphasis placed on the importance of family in the recovery process. Today, this is a key component in most treatment programs. Parents and siblings are strongly encouraged to be part of the process. Some centers will even offer what is called Family Week. This is a time for those who have been negatively affected to become involved in the recovery process. Many times family members will refuse to get involved: “He/she had the problem, not me. And now you are asking me to get counseling? You must be crazy.” Nonetheless, I strongly suggest that family members attend some meetings–if for no other reason than to vent frustration. It will be worth it.

Addiction is treacherous for the whole family. Over time, relationships can become a tangled web. Feelings get hurt and bitterness creeps in, almost unnoticed. Strife begins to build, and after a while no one remembers why. But life is too short to waste years like this. Miracles can happen when a professional helps untangle the mess.

Time has yet to heal some of the wounds in my family. The impact of my addiction and recovery has left deep scars, and damaged relationships among my immediate family that we are still attempting to understand and mend. Despite our attempts to keep things simple, life can sometimes become very complicated. Over the years, my siblings have married. Bitterness and unresolved strife have colored relationships not only among my siblings, but among our spouses and children as well. Recovery and the process of making amends to those who were hurt takes a while. Sometimes these differences may never be resolved.

Quitting, as wonderful as that may be, is not the same as recovering. Recovery means taking responsibility for the broken relationships that occurred when the addict was using. Repairing broken relationships is critical to the process of recovery. With patience and time, progress can be made.

This article excerpted from the book Why Don’t They Just Quit?

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about individual counseling with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

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Siblings forgotten ones Alanon siblings

November 20, 2011 by jherzanek | 6 comments

This article “10 Tips for Surviving Holidays
with the Dysfunctional Family”
It is so full of great information that I decided to repost it again.

~By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.

For some families, holidays are just another excuse to get together to eat good food and to have a good time. They’re not looking for articles like this one because they’ve somehow figured out the formula for successful family togetherness with minimum stress. If you have a challenging family, it’s only human to be a bit incredulous and then more than a bit jealous to see other folks living out the holiday fantasy when you’re just trying to live through it.

Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a lifetime of holiday gatherings where you just grin and go to your happy place until, thank goodness, it’s over! You can make a difference. You may even be able to start to enjoy your personal dysfunctional crowd. With a little planning and some social engineering, you can take control of the situation and make this holiday feel better.

First, make an honest appraisal of the family. It’s not new information that your mother doesn’t like your sister’s husband or your grandmother is going to want attention for her latest ache and pain. It’s not news to anyone that so-and-so has to be the center of attention or so-and-so somehow gets her feelings hurt every year. Instead of denying these realities, plan for them. (You get extra credit if you can find a way to have a sense of humor about them too.) Then consider using the following tips to begin to avoid at least some of the usual family drama.

1. Line up some co-conspirators. Chances are you’re not the only one who is irked by your family’s dysfunctional routines. Figure out who you can call on to help make things different. Then do some pre-event strategizing. Agree to tag-team each other with the folks you all find particularly difficult. Set up a signal you’ll use to call in a replacement. Brainstorm ways to steer a certain individual’s most tiresome and troublesome antics in a different direction.

2. Ask your co-conspirators to brainstorm ways to give challenging relatives an assignment: Is someone always critical of the menu? Ask her if she would please bring that complicated dish that is her trademark so she’ll have a place to shine. Is there a teenager who mopes about, bringing everyone down? Maybe offer to pay him to entertain the younger set for a couple hours after dinner so the adults can talk.

3. Invite “buffers.” Most people’s manners improve when outsiders enter the scene. If you can count on your family to put their best feet forward for company, invite some. (If not, don’t.) There are always people who would love a place to go on holidays. Think about elderly people in your church or community whose grown children live far away, or divorced friends whose kids are with the other parent this year, or foreign exchange students from your local high school or college.

4. Nowhere is it written that there shall be alcohol whenever a family gets together. If there are problem drinkers in the family, let everyone know ahead of time that you are holding an alcohol-free party. Serve sparkling cider and an interesting non-alcoholic punch. People in your family who can’t stand being at a gathering without an alcoholic haze will probably leave early or decline the invitation. Everyone else will be spared another holiday ruined by someone’s inability to handle their drinking.

5. Take charge of seating. Have some of the younger kids make place cards and assign seats. Folks are less likely to switch places when admiring kids’ handiwork. Put people who rub each other the wrong way at opposite ends of the table. Seat the most troublesome person right next to you or one of your co-conspirators so that you can head off unfortunate conversation topics as soon as they start.

6. Guide the conversation. If your family doesn’t seem to know how to talk without getting into arguments or if you’re not the most socially adept person yourself, give yourself some help by introducing The Conversation Game (see below). Announce at the beginning of the meal that you want to use the gathering as a time to get to know each other better. Ask everyone to indulge you by playing the game for at least part of the meal. Hopefully, people will like this change in family dynamics enough to want to keep it going.

7. Give kids a way to be included. Then set them free. Kids are simply not going to enjoy being trapped at a table with adults (especially dysfunctional adults) for extended periods of time. They get restless. They get whiny. They slump in their chairs. Yes, they should be expected to behave with at least a minimum of decorum during the meal but head off complaints and tantrums by planning something for them to do while the adults linger at the table. Have the materials for a simple craft project set up and ready to go. Remember that teenager in #4? Perhaps this is when she plays a game outside with the younger kids while older ones watch a movie.

8. No willing teens? Set up a childcare schedule ahead of time so the adults spell each other. Auntie oversees a kid project while the rest of the adults finish their meal. Uncle takes the kids out to run around between dinner and desert. Plan ahead to share the load and nobody feels martyred and everybody has a better time.

9. Provide escape routes. Togetherness is not for everyone. Make sure there are ways for the shyer or more intimidated to get away from the crowd. If most people will be watching football, set up a movie in another room for those who want out. Ask for help in the kitchen to give the overwhelmed person a graceful way to withdraw from the bore who is boring her. Set up a jigsaw puzzle on a card table in a corner so that people who don’t want to be part of the conversation have a way to occupy themselves and still be part of the party. Arrange with one of your co-conspirators to suggest a before- or after-dinner walk for people who need a breather.

10. After everyone leaves, reward yourself. Sink into your favorite chair and give yourself credit (and an extra piece of pie?) for trying to make a difference. It takes a lot of time and a lot of effort to make significant change in the habits and attitudes of a dysfunctional family. Any small step in the right direction is something to be thankful for. Good for you!

The Conversation Game

This is a game the whole family can play. Make up a stack of cards with discussion starters on them. Brainstorm “starters” that will make people reminisce or laugh. Make sure to include cards that appeal to all ages. Some ideas are listed below.

To play the game, ask the person to your right to pick a card and read it. Each person at the table gets to answer. It’s fine for someone to “pass” if they don’t have something to say. After everyone has had a turn to respond, the deck gets passed to the next person to choose a card. And so on.

Sample starters:

• What song brings up the happiest memories for you?
• If you were a car, what kind would you be?
• If you were given a thousand dollars with the rule that you couldn’t spend it on yourself, what would you do with it?
• What was the best day of your life so far?
• If you could change places with a celebrity, who would it be and why?
• If you could go to a fancy restaurant and price were no object, where would you go and what would you order?
• What is the best way to cheer you up when you’re down?
• What is the one thing you’ve done in your life that you are proudest of?
• What was your favorite childhood game or toy? (For kids, what is it now?)
• If you formed a band, what would you name it? What kind of music would you play?
• If you had the choice of a day: Would you rather choose a day 10 years ago or a day 10 years from now?
• If you could have 1 superpower, what would it be?
• If you could live somewhere else for a year, where would you go?
• If you knew you were going to spend a year in a science station in Antarctica, what 3 things would you most want to take with you to do when you weren’t working?
• What do you think is the secret to staying young at heart?
• When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Do you remember why? (For kids: What do you think you’d like to be and why?)
• What bargain would you love to find on eBay or at a garage sale?
• What do you really, really hope someone will invent soon?
• If someone gave you a gift certificate for a tattoo, what would you get and where would you put it?
• Which would you rather be: A famous athlete, a great singer, or an important politician?

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November 20, 2011 by jherzanek | 2 comments

The Difference between a Sponsor and a Therapist

November 17, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

Just discovered this as I was poking around. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

1. A sponsor isn’t all that interested in why you used.

2. A therapist thinks your problem is lack of self-esteem and negative self-image; a sponsor thinks your problem is you.

3. A therapist wants to nurture your inner child; your sponsor thinks it should be spanked.

4. A sponsor thinks your inventory should be about you, not your parents.

5. A sponsor thinks you should not confront your parents, but rather make amends to them.

6. The only time your sponsor uses the word “closure” is before the word “mouth.”

7. A sponsor thinks boundaries are things you need to take down — not build up.

8. A therapist wants you to love yourself first; a sponsor wants you to love others first.

9. A therapist prescribes care-taking medication while a sponsor prescribes prayer-making and meditation.

10. A sponsor thinks anger management skills are numbered one through twelve.

11. Because you’ve been clean ninety days, a therapist recommends you make a list of all your goals and objectives for the next five years — starting with finishing up that degree. A sponsor thinks you should continue cleaning coffee pots and occasionally mopping.

12. Lastly, a sponsor will not lose his/her license if he/she talks about God.

~ this post from Addicted2Clean Blog

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about individual counseling with Joe Herzanek (in person or by phone) click here.

Tags: AA, AA sponsor, Al-Anon, alanon, sponsor, therapist

Criticism: Advice That is not Asked for

November 14, 2011 by jherzanek | No comments

“Criticism: Advice That is Not Asked For”

~by Michael Z

So many family members who call Changing Lives Foundation
feel like they are all alone in their struggles.
Our best advice to those who have limited resources is
to visit an Open AA meeting or two, attend an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting.
There,they will find others with similar concerns.
Many of the people in these meetings offer gems of wisdom just like this
from Michael Z.
Read what he has to say about criticism, advice and AA—

I have someone in my life that, after she asks how I’m doing and I begin to tell her, immediately begins telling me the things I need to change or start doing. Until this quote I didn’t realize that the reason her unasked for advice made me feel so bad was because it was thinly veiled criticism of the way I was living my life.

Thank God the program doesn’t work that way. If people in the program or my sponsor started giving me unasked for advice or telling me what to do, I would have left long ago. Instead, people give me suggestions (when I ask for them) based on their own experience. If they had a similar situation as mine and they did something that worked for them, then they may suggest that it might work for me as well. It’s up to me at that point to try it or not.

Because of the AA program, I have learned to apply this wisdom in my other relationships as well. In fact, people now call me a good listener, and it’s because I know that all people really want is to be heard and understood. If asked, the best I can do is share my experience with a similar situation – if I have it. Otherwise, it’s best to listen, empathize and help them process their experience.

That’s always better than giving advice that’s not asked for.

________________________________________________

Excerpted from “The Wisdom of the Rooms Volume 2″
~by Michael Z.

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Tags: AA, addiction books, addiction recovery, Advice, Al-Anon, Al-Anon literature, alanon, alanon group, alanon help, Criticism, help for family of addicts, Michael Z, recovery wisdom, The Wisdom of the Rooms, wisdom

Suboxone: Switching from one drug to another.

November 7, 2011 by jherzanek | 5 comments

Jaywalker Lodge

“Suboxone does get us on the road to recovery, but don’t confuse the the on-ramp with the destination.”

~ Bob Ferguson
Founder/Director, Jaywalker Lodge, Carbondale, CO

“Say what you will, the truth is that people, LOTS OF PEOPLE
—millions have quit all alcohol and drug use.
Methadone and suboxone users are users.”

~ Joe Herzanek
President, Changing Lives Foundation
Author, Why Don’t They Just Quit?

Quite a heated discussion regarding the article
Roxane Labs Generic Suboxone Hits the Market

Read all the comments below.
To follow the original discussion, click here on “Dad on Fire” blog

November 6, 2009 at 3:59 pm
It seems to me that way to many have bought into the idea that some people just won’t/can’t quit. Sad. Switching from one drug to another. At least now they can be strung out on a legal drug. Harm reduction is a joke. I’m sure the pharmaceutical companies are happy though.
Joe

November 6, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Point accepted. However, what is an affordable alternative? I would really like to know. I have watched a lot of young opiate addicts trip over recovery and rehab for years–over and over again. My own son; one of them. Even residential rehab wasn’t the answer to many. Initially, the intense withdrawals stops most of them from continuing–so comes replacement drug therapy. The big Pharmas do profit off it. That’s another issue. If an addict accepts suboxone or methadone for that matter without trying to use street opiates, they can regain much of what they lost physically and mentally and when stable, they can wean off of either of these. The problem with weaning off of suboxone is the issue of micro-dosing. Its a powerful drug. 1 mg is equal to 20-30 mgs. of methadone. Micro doses and time release implants are available in Europe just for that purpose; not here yet. Methadone is easier to wean off in that respect. the problems is timing. Being a craving addict doesn’t go away that soon enough–and then there is Methamphetamine of which physical and mental restoration is even more questionable. I think residential rehab is a better answer for that.
dadonfire

November 6, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I think this is good news. I am curious if Joe from the above comment has overcome heroin addiction. Suboxone DOES help addicts get off opiates. It may be addicting but it does NOT get you high, it does not ruin your life, it does not land you in jail or the grave. Therefore, its somewhat of a miracle drug. My insurance company covered it and we got it at a reasonable cost. I am all for it.
Barbara

November 6, 2009 at 6:44 pm
This is a really important discussion. I’m glad you brought it up. Suboxone and methadone are both controversial. But then again, so is rehab. I have known numerous families who have spent thousands of dollars (sometimes their child’s college fund) for one rehab after another and no lasting results. As parents we would do just about anything to help our children overcome their addiction problems, but in reality there’s not much we can do. I think Suboxone is one option, but my son ended up selling his doses to pay for heroin. Bottom line is they have to want to stop. Jail seems to be working for my son, he’s got 76 days clean now. The fear is when he gets out. There is NO easy answer.
Barbara

November 6, 2009 at 6:58 pm

As one recent story contributor put it “it is love and love alone that will help you and your family thru this nightmare. Tough love mostly.” I would add everything the experts can offer, sheer human will and a more compassionate world of recovery. Some 22 million drug addicts and alcoholics can’t be wrong. No easy answers is right. Someone I love dearly who fought opiate addiction for a decade and a half views jail as a rescue. I still want to see drug policy reform as part of a growing nation of compassion, acceptance and recovery.
dadonfire

November 6, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Wow, seems like a bit of a hornet’s nest. I spent sixteen years lost in addiction to alcohol and drugs. Heroin and opiate pain meds were some of my favorites. I now have a few decades of total abstinence. Say what you will, the truth is that people, LOTS OF PEOPLE, millions have quit all alcohol and drug use. Methadone and suboxone users are users. They have just switched to legal dope. They have convinced you that they are unique and they just can’t quit. Which is a bunch of crap from a bunch of cry babies.
Regards, Joe

November 7, 2009 at 8:30 am
I have to agree with Joe, millions of folks have recovered, myself included. Barbara, I also see the value of suboxone as a detox protocol–it’s a safe and effective bridge from active opiate use to chemical abstinence. But too many times, the addict and their caregivers get stuck on that bridge. Reducing the damage and consequences of active addiction through harm reduction is an intoxicating notion for weary addicts and their families. Often i have seen cases where active opiate addicts on the road to ruin will “behave themselves” once they start on suboxone. Harm reduction in that sense is effective, insofar as it goes. Many treatment providers LOVE this drug because it makes disruptive patients act compliant. But make no mistake, harm reduction + compliance does NOT equal sobriety. These folks are NOT sober–the pupils are pinned, they have a flat personal affect, and reaction times are off by at least a beat or two. What’s worse, they have switched from an unacceptable chemical dependence to a more socially acceptable drug dependence, and deep down, they know that. This stunts their self-esteem and blocks them from the freedom they are seeking. Sobriety is an onerous, difficult deal and involves a commitment to change and usually, some level of personal and physical discomfort. The notion that you can make lasting and profound personal change without experiencing any personal discomfort or sacrifice whatsoever–that is what the drug companies and their representatives are selling. It’s an intriguing, intoxicating notion, isn’t it? Suboxone does get us on the road to recovery, but don’t confuse the the on-ramp with the destination. The real work begins when patients and their doctors summon the courage to go from “less”chemicals to no chemicals.
Bob Ferguson

November 7, 2009 at 10:36 am
I may have been a bit harsh in my last comment. I tend to do that at times. Using suboxone for a brief period during detox can be helpful. Beyond that and the person has simply decided to use the drug rather than find another coping skill. Talk therapy is the key ingredient in long term total abstinence. 12 Step programs are the best place to turn for this long term help.
Joe

November 7, 2009 at 10:49 am
Joe, Thanks for your comments. I mean that sincerely. For me, what former addicts have to say on these subjects is very valuable because you are the only ones who actually know, first hand, what its like. The rest of us are striving to understand and willing to do just about anything we can to help our loved one, but what we learn over and over is that the addict has to be ready, they have to do it themselves. I hear that 12 Step is the way to go and am praying that my 18 y.o. will open his mind to it when he gets in rehab. You give me hope that anyone can do it – when they are ready. A lot of us just pray that our loved ones are ready sooner than later because we feel helpless as we watch them waste precious years. Thanks again.
Barbara

November 7, 2009 at 11:13 am
Thank you for your kind words Barbara. I didn’t start this yesterday for any other reason than it just makes me mad that SOME, not all, rehab places want to just put people on another drug to FIX their current drug problem. I also didn’t start this to sell books but having said that I am an author and have written a very helpful book on this topic. If you are interested in looking at it just google my name from the first comment.
Regards, Joe

November 10, 2009 at 11:13 am
I was really excited reading the posts. Especially from Bob–one of the best I’ve read in a long time. Gotta admit though I lost that excitement when I clicked on a suboxone link that brought me to a site sponsored by Reckitt.
Jay

November 10, 2009 at 11:13 am
Jay–I encourage you to stay linked with this site. Appreciate your comments a lot. We don’t support Reckitt’s recent actions, as their interest is to sustain profit from a drug (suboxone) that was developed to bridge addiction to recovery and has an expired patent. I say that because they are fighting generic status. We also do not typically support the long term use of drug replacement therapy. Both Suboxone and Methadone are difficult enough for an addict to manage initially. A lot to say about that later. These drugs usefulness is the bridge they provide to an ultimate full and sober recovery. I have to defer to Joe’s comments above for a good description of what they really are in a lot of cases. Legal replacement drugs have their “place”. If it stops an addict on a dangerous steep downhill slope, or pulls him or her out of an abyss; its difficult for addiction doctors in the therapy community to discount their use.
dadonfire

November 10, 2009 at 11:13 am
Great follow-up dad. Nothing wrong with a little help to get started in recovery. Then the real answer can begin, which in my opinion is talk therapy. This applies to more than substance dependent people. Almost anyone can benefit from a mentor of some kind.
Joe

* Have you “tried everything?” To learn about affordable phone counseling with Joe Herzanek click here.

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Tags: 12 Step, Author Joe Herzanek, Bob Ferguson, Chaplain Joe Herzanek, Dad on Fire, Generic Suboxone, Jaywalker Lodge, Joe Herzanek, Methadone, Suboxone, suboxone talk zone, therapeutic replacement drug, total abstinence, Why Don't they Just Quit

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Q Is it okay for a recovering addict to smoke pot?

Q Is it okay to smoke some weed once in a while?

Q If I was a heroin addict and I quit that drug completely, is it okay to just smoke some weed?

Q If I’m a recovering alcoholic, is it okay to smoke some weed?

Q I’m in recovery, but since weed is found to grow naturally in many places, is it okay to just smoke weed?

Q Since weed is not really a drug, is it okay to smoke some weed?

Q I heard about a guy in recovery that smokes weed. Do you think I might be able to?

Q There is an organization called NORMAL. If a group like this is able to get marijuana legalized, do you think I could just smoke weed?

Q I’ve heard about smoking “medical marijuana” for people with health problems. What’s up with this?

Q How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

Rock Bottom, Raising the Bottom or Tough Love?

Pain Meds Cause More Pain! The new silent epidemic.

Q How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling me the truth?

Love First Intervention: How Do I Intervene?

Guest: Jeff Jay Interventionist and co-author of, love first

Children of Addicts: The Innocent Victims

Guest: David Meggitt Program manager, Betty Ford Colorado Children’s program

Resource Links for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

12 Step Prayers

Vicodin Abuse and Dangerous New Painkiller Worries Experts

There are a few medications available today that help some people with the initial quitting phase. However, I strongly advise anyone in recovery to consult with a trusted doctor before taking anything.

The following article addresses Vicodin Abuse and a dangerous new painkiller—a pure, more powerful version of the nation’s second most-abused medicine.

One of the more difficult groups of substances for an addict to stop using is pain medication—mainly, the opiate drugs like Vicodin, Percocet, heroin, and OxyContin. ~Joe Herzanek

12 Ways Recovery From Addiction Will Save Your Marriage

Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations for Chat Rooms, Groups and Bulletin Boards

“Criticism: Advice That is Not Asked For”

“Suboxone does get us on the road to recovery, but don’t confuse the the on-ramp with the destination.”

“Say what you will, the truth is that people, LOTS OF PEOPLE —millions have quit all alcohol and drug use. Methadone and suboxone users are users.”

Quite a heated discussion regarding the article Roxane Labs Generic Suboxone Hits the Market

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Q Is it okay for a recovering addict
to smoke pot?

Q Is it okay to smoke some weed once
in a while?

Q If I was a heroin addict and I quit that drug
completely, is it okay to just smoke some weed?

Q If I’m a recovering alcoholic, is it okay to
smoke some weed?

Q I’m in recovery, but since weed is found to
grow naturally in many places, is it okay
to just smoke weed?

Q Since weed is not really a drug, is it okay to
smoke some weed?

Q I heard about a guy in recovery that smokes
weed. Do you think I might be able to?

Q There is an organization called NORMAL.
If a group like this is able to get marijuana legalized,
do you think I could just smoke weed?

Q I’ve heard about smoking “medical marijuana” for people
with health problems. What’s up with this?

Rock Bottom, Raising the Bottom
or Tough Love?

Q How can I know if my addicted friend or
loved one is telling me the truth?

Love First Intervention:
How Do I Intervene?

Guest: Jeff Jay
Interventionist and co-author of, love first

Children of Addicts:
The Innocent Victims

Guest: David Meggitt
Program manager, Betty Ford Colorado Children’s program

One of the more difficult groups of substances for an addict to stop using is pain medication—mainly, the opiate drugs like Vicodin, Percocet, heroin, and OxyContin.
~Joe Herzanek

Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and AA Abbreviations
for Chat Rooms, Groups and Bulletin Boards

“Say what you will, the truth is that people, LOTS OF PEOPLE
—millions have quit all alcohol and drug use.
Methadone and suboxone users are users.”

Quite a heated discussion regarding the article
Roxane Labs Generic Suboxone Hits the Market