May 4, 2012

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The Missing Link in Addiction Recovery. What’s Missing?

~by Joe Herzanek

As I look back over three decades of working with chemically dependent men, women, adolescents and their families I ask myself what’s changed?

I try to be optimistic and honest at the same time but I have to say not much. This applies to both the Christian community and the general population. The problem of chemical dependency continues to get worse over time, treatment is only so effective, new ideas and research continue and these things are just as perplexing now as they were in ’77 when I quit. Addiction is called a disease and yet it is one of the few diseases that people can choose to put in remission and leave there if they want to (badly enough).

One of the biggest reasons I continue to work with offenders and their families is that a higher percentage of those incarcerated for criminal behavior know they need a miracle to change. Miracles are a God Thing.

The person with the addiction/substance abuse problem touches so many lives and often remains stubborn and in denial (that he or she even has a problem). Interventions, education, treatment programs, counseling for the addict and the family all play a powerful role in the change process. Just the same, we—as a society are still mired in a dilemma that won’t go away.

If I were asked what is the missing link? What could improve the miserable statistics on treatment and relapse, what would I say? Well in my honest opinion the missing link is the spiritual component. Yes I know we are a very ‘spiritual nation’ but why is this still such a vague part of recovery? And then, “How’s that working?”

Can a recovering person just believe anything they choose concerning things of God? Do addicts and alcoholics need a miracle? I believe they do. I also believe that “the God piece” could be and should be, much more defined.

My personal choice concerning things of God led me back to where I started. In my early years the Christian faith was our family’s faith. I wandered away from that for many years. What I found later (after 16 years of life on alcohol and drugs) was that I had a skewed belief system. I had blamed God for all the bad and took personal credit for all the “good.”

(A funny line heard at a 12-Step meeting: “The difference between me and God is that God doesn’t want to be me”).

Today my higher power has a name. It’s not doorknob; it’s Jesus. I try to follow both His teachings and the 12-Step philosophy at the same time. I have found this to be a winning combination, not just for me—but over the past several years I’ve seen the same thing work in a powerful way for a significant number of my fellow recovering friends, their families and clients I have worked with.

I know I’m losing some readers at this point. That’s okay and I understand. Not everyone will seek this same path. At the same time I would be dishonest if I didn’t share my own personal experience strength and hope. I believe it is God’s will that people recover, resist temptation, remain drug free, that families heal and strife ends. Lasting change is possible for anyone.

RELATED:
>12-Step Recovery and “Things of God.” A Perfect Match. ~by Joe Herzanek

RESOURCES:
Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.

> Paperback

> Audio Book CD, MP3 (NEW!)

> Kindle

> Audible Audio Download (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE)

ASK JOE:
> Do you have to stop seeing all your old friends in order to recover?

> Is a relapse—failure?

>Should my husband “back off?”

> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?

>Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”

>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?

SELF TESTS:
> Self-Tests: Codependence

> Self-Tests: Alcohol and Drug Addiction

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May 4, 2012 by jherzanek | 5 comments

What is Addiction Phone Counseling for Family Members?

~by Joe Herzanek

Something Changing Lives Foundation began a year or two ago was our family phone counseling option. This has worked very well and continues to grow. Since I do not do psychotherapy but concentrate on addiction counseling for family members, phone counseling is even better than face-to-face counseling in many ways.

Phone Counseling vs. Person-to-Person Counseling:
Family members and friends of alcohol and drug dependent men and women want to get clear information and guidance about what they should do (and should not do) to help. When dealing with family members, I don’t have to be overly concerned about body language and eye contact. They have no reason to hide their real feelings and thoughts. It’s a different story all together with active users of substances.

Of course, some obvious advantages of Addiction Phone Counseling are that this can be done literally anytime, anywhere and between multiple households. Participants can remain relatively anonymous and don’t have to spend time or money arranging an in-person visit. They don’t risk being seen by someone they may not want to run into.

What will we talk about on a Phone Counseling Session?
One of the things that families are usually confused about is the question of what’s normal? Most are certain that something has gone very wrong in the life of their loved one but how wrong and to what degree is difficult to define. We discuss the question as to what should I do (or not do) at this point?

I can remember when my own son was struggling with substances in his teen years. Even I, “the expert,” wasn’t quite sure to what degree he had drifted from the normal baseline, so to speak. Even counselors need to talk to other counselors at times.

Most people who contact me for Phone Counseling know they are in crisis. Often the person is a spouse or an adult son or daughter. More often than not the issue has persisted for years. Rarely does someone call me in the early stages. When a family is in crisis, most individuals are too close to the situation and family members have become too emotional to effectively handle things alone.

After three decades of working with families and also networking with treatment centers across the USA, I can point people to helpful and appropriate resources close to where they live. When the stress level is high often our emotions lead us to some bad choices. I can’t tell you how many times the family has called and told me about a facility that they are considering which would have been a huge and expensive mistake (for various reasons). Sometimes the family has decided to let the person with the problem find a facility he or she likes best—sort of like letting the patient play doctor.

Don’t make that mistake.

At the end of a phone counseling session family members have a clear plan of action for how they are going to move forward, backup plans and suggested resources that are customized to their situation. The spouse, parent, family most always will proceed with a renewed sense of hope. Family Phone Counseling is a way for people to sort out options and know that they have done everything in their control to help their loved one.

NEED HELP NOW?
Call: 303.775.6493
or Email: jherzanek@gmail.com
Affordable Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse

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Addiction Phone Counseling, Counseling Family Members, Addiction Phone Counseling, Counseling Family Members

To purchase Joe Herzanek’s Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery