Are you a “Supermom?” It’s time to think about changing.

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The Addict's Mom Logo#4 Ask the Addict’s Mom

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Are you a “Supermom?” It’s time to think about changing.

~By Barbara Theodosiou, Founder, The Addict’s Mom

 

Question:
Are you a “Supermom?”

My friend called the other day and asked me why I sounded so blue? I replied “what is the point of talking about IT?” She knew what I meant by IT. IT was how I referred to my addicted son. He had been our main topic of conversation for several years. She politely told me that it was not my fault. Just like a spoiled child, I replied “I don’t care if it is my fault or not. All I care about is that my son is dying in front of my eyes.”

A little annoyed and in a very firm tone, she told me “there is not a phone call you could make or a thing you could do anymore that can save your son. Remember Superman?” Of course, I replied. “Picture Lois Lane standing on the railroad tracks, a speeding train approaching, just about to hit her. Then Superman swoops down, stops the train with one hand just in the nick of time and saves Lois. Your son has had his own personal “Superman”– or in this case “Supermom”– who has rescued him his entire life, swooping down in the nick of time again and again to save the day.”

“Just like “Superman” is a TV and movie character, “Supermom” is make-believe too,” my friend continued. “Your son’s dependency on you is very unhealthy and unrealistic. It’s robbing him of one of life’s greatest gifts — the gift of being independent. When you let go of control, your son will be able to experience the natural consequences of life. Only then will he become his own man and the hero of his own life story.”

Even though I felt a little awkward and bruised I couldn’t help but smile. I knew how much my friend loved me and how courageous she had been to tell me the truth. She reinforced for me what I already knew — that it was time for me to make some major changes. My first positive step would be to visualize throwing my cape away, putting my sweatshirt back on and adjusting to being plain old mom again — kind of like going from “Superman” back to Clark Kent!

Barbara TheodosiouThe Addict’s Mom,” founded by Barbara Theodosiou is a group focusing on the mothers of addicted children. The relationship between the mother and addicted child is unique; that does not diminish the experiences of other family members. This group however, is dedicated to addressing the mother’s pain but more importantly, the commonalities of our experiences thus illustrating to the grieving mother that she is not alone nor is she unique in this respect. One line, one thought can help change her perspective for the better.

MORE from The Addict’s Mom:
-She Just Couldn’t Do It Anymore
Expectations for our loved one’s recovery vs. reality
Visit The Addict’s Mom Website

RESOURCES:

Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics

Why Don't They Just Quit? by Joe Herzanek
Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.

> Paperback

> Audio Book CD (Listen in your car)

> Kindle

> Audible Audio Download  (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE)

ASK JOE:
> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?

>Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?

>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?

>”I need help because I’m not able to deal with my live-in Fiance’s need to get drunk every night.”
>Should my husband “back off?”

>Gambling vs. Drug Addiction? What is your opinion?

>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?

>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?

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2 thoughts on “Are you a “Supermom?” It’s time to think about changing.

  1. jherzanek Post author

    Hi Dixie,
    Sorry….I just saw your post here. There sure is a group near you! We have a meeting-finder link on our Resources Page—plus a lot of other info. Look at AA and/or Al-Anon (depending on what your needs are). Please email me if you have other questions okay? (you can use the contact us link at the bottom).

  2. Dixie

    How do i find you? this site just popped up before my eyes and spoke to me. Time to take off the cloak. i am in Orange, CA- is there a group near me?

    Dixie

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