Comments on: The Addict’s Mom. She just couldn’t do it anymore.

By: Are you a “Supermom?” It’s time to think about changing. | Changing Lives Foundation Blog

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 23:04:59 +0000

[...] from The Addict’s Mom: -She Just Couldn’t Do It Anymore -Expectations for our loved one’s recovery vs. reality -Visit The Addict’s Mom [...]

By: Carole McFarland

Carole McFarland — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:34:47 +0000

I feel so desperate for answers or feedback to my adult son’s addictions that I do not know where to turn anymore. Although many are sympathetic to this situation, no one knows how addiction destroys lives like others in the same boat.

I appreciate the testimonials of other moms and feel their pain. I am so scared my son will be found dead and I do not want to be the one to find him. He has been addicted to alcohol and RX pain killers for years, and has been in rehab and is now in a Life Recovery program at our local Christian mission (over 3 months now). He seemed to be doing so well, but recently he found “huffing” as a cheap and non-detectable source of a quick high. In the last 7 days, he was found unconscious twice and sent to the local ER. He has extreme anxiety issues along with his addictions, but has no job, no money. I want to be strong and not enable him. I have been seeing him once per week while at the mission, and maybe I should not be doing that. I told him he can not live with me again however, so if he gets kicked out of this program, he will have to find another way to live. Any suggestions?

By: jherzanek

jherzanek — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:14:59 +0000

Thanks for your comment Cathie! It just goes to show that we should never give up hope! There is something you might like to know about—which is the topic of our radio show yesterday. We interviewed the director of the Betty Ford Children’s Program, along with an 11-year-old boy and his Mom who went through the program. It is a wonderful program and they will not turn anyone away because of lack of funds.

Here is the link for the show (minus commercials, traffic and news):
http://k004.kiwi6.com/hotlink/ur565vqu3u/2_david_meggett_1_21_12.mp3

And here is a link for our blog post about the show, called Children of Addicts: The Innocent Victims: http://www.drug-addiction-help-now.org/blog/2012/01/children-of-addicts-the-innocent-victims/

By: Cathie

Cathie — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:05:37 +0000

I too am a grandmother caring for my grandson of almost five, there is hope…I lost it at one time but today after so many false starts, my grandsons mother is taking the first step of her “journey” back to being the mother, daughter and young woman God had meant for her to be. Never ask why….. never ask when… or how come this has happened that those we love fell into hell…just keep on working your own steps, keep loving them, praying for them reaching out to others in the same situation and God just may give you a miracle. Like they say..hate the addiction, not the one who has it. Many times it seems like you want to scream, right? Well, scream, get it out…and keep going.

By: Things might not get better for me, but I can get better despite things. | Changing Lives Foundation Blog

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:59:47 +0000

[...] •The Addict’s Mom [...]

By: Overcoming difficulties living with an addict. | Changing Lives Foundation Blog

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 03:29:05 +0000

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By: "The Addict’s Mom." Expectations for Our Loved One's Recovery vs. Reality | Changing Lives Foundation Blog

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 03:06:14 +0000

[...] -She Just Couldn’t Do It Anymore [...]

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 17:12:03 +0000

I am glad that I found this site! I have been a big enabler of my daughter who got involved with drug use at the age of 19. Now 5 years later, 1 grand daughter and a grandson on the way, she takes her days, day to day. She has been sober for close to a year, yet just recently got into some trouble and of course as the mom, im worried sick..Yet i know that choices cause consequences. I feel like I am constantly in prayer mode and hoping that it all works out. I am currently raising my soon to be 4yr old grand daughter, I have had her since birth. I worry myself sick over the what the conclusion to all this could be, especially with a newborn. Reading these posts though gives me the courage to move forward and know that there is still hope out there.

By: Teri Murgia

Teri Murgia — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 00:08:58 +0000

Nancy,

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I can’t imagine the emotional pain you must be going through right now. Please know you are not alone, there are thousands of Mother’s out there who are going through this painful journey just as you are. My letter is a message of HOPE! I know that as the daughter who almost broke the very spirit that lived within my mother, I needed her to stop “fixing” my life so I could learn how to do it for myself! It was very painful YES, and it felt like rejection, but I needed her to show me what it looked like to value one’s self. She modeled selfworth to me the day she chose her life, and made me be responsibile for mine! Your daughter needs you to choose you now, so she can know what self worth looks like..I am praying for you and your daughter….Please know there is ALWAYS hope!!

By: Shirah Penn

Shirah Penn — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 16:34:40 +0000

I found Codependence Anonymous very helpful in giving me a support system to stay strong and not enable my son. It is a very hard thing to do. I think the group The Addict’s Mom is such a wonderful group so that parents can find the strength to do the only thing that one can really do…Take care of yourself so you can be there for others. Gramma Shirah Penn

By: nancy

nancy — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 15:27:23 +0000

My husband and son passed away frm medical issues. Today my daughter is in a hospital and I am two states away. She is currently using heroin and anything else under the sun minnd you twenty years old. I am remarried and today I am with my husband to give him support. His mom just passed away.

So i am feeling really lonely and torn because my daughter is in a hospital due to medical issues and complicated by her drug addiction. Today i will think of me and iwant to thank terri for what she wrote because i do feel so alone and i don’t want to lose my daughter to addiction and watch her fade away

By: Nancy

Nancy — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 15:19:30 +0000

this posting broke my heart but also gave me hope. thanks for sharing it.

By: Teri Murgia

Teri Murgia — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 05:28:21 +0000

Hi Susan,

Thank you so much for responding. Addiction is killing our families everywhere. It is so important to keep the message of hope out there. May God Bless you and keep you safe….

Teri Murgia

By: Valerie Hayslett

Valerie Hayslett — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 15:56:37 +0000

I had to do the same thing with my son.It is so hard to walk away but self destruction is a hard thing to watch.It destroys everyone around you too.He cut hisself with a broken light bulb in a jail cell.16 long cuts down his arm.He got saved by the jail staff but when he found himself going back to prison for drugs again ,he called.Told me he couldnt do prison again and was going to attemptit again,I told him I loved him but I wasnt going to go through that again.I TOLD HIM IF THATS WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO GO AHEAD BUT DONT EVER THINK I WOULD BE THERE TO WATCH HIM DO IT AGAIN.Not to call me cause I had had enough and couldnt take it anymore.I never got a call like that again.He grew up and decide I wasnt playing games anymore with him or his 2 brothers.I have 3 addict sons and cant watch them do it anymore.They may think I dont love them cause I walked away.But it is because I DO LOVE THEM that I cant enable them anymore.

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 15:29:59 +0000

Thank you, Teri. What a powerful impact statement. I plan to share this with my own mother, father and siblings engaged in the efforts to help one of our siblings find the road to recovery. Be blessed today and everyday!