A God “of my understanding”

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I was thinking again (OH MY), just how far I would be now without the God I thought I hated. A little update needed.

When I was 2 years old my mother died at 23 yrs old, at age 6 my father died at 31.  I was raised by my Grandmother who thought she was being kind told me God had taken my parents to be with him.  Then when I was 12 (You guessed it) my grandmother died.

Went to live with my uncle and at 17 he died. I had this hatred for any God that would do that to me.  So I was not one of those that came into AA and found a loving God right away.  After many many relapses, and even suicide attempts, I thought it might be a good idea if I found God before my own actions introduced me to him.

I became willing to try—just try; that was all.  So I borrowed “you people’s” God until I knew what I was looking for.  A God of my understanding was a God I could work with. I thought “this isn’t bad”.  I was so happy he wasn’t the one that wanted my allowance as a kid, took people out of my life for no reason.

My God—I have accepted as one of my understanding, has no Race, Sex, or Creed.  In short, he is the one that has bought this near atheist rebel to be almost 65 years old, and living a sober, healthy, peaceful (Most of the time) life.

This is just my thoughts for today.  I forgave God and I know he forgave me for being such a hard-head for 62 years.

Love you All. ~Charlie

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